# What would you do?



## seaandy (Aug 21, 2012)

Long story...sorry if it is a mess I am fuzzy headed.

I was diagnosed almost 2 years ago with Hashimoto's. It's been a roller coaster between going hypo and hyper. My lab history:
(5 31 12) - TSH 3.38
(8 2 12) - TSH 2.24
(8 2 12) - Antibody test for Hashi's 309
Ultrasound confirming slightly enlarged thyroid lobes and multiple tiny hypoechoic nodules throughout with diffuse increased flow on color Doppler.
STARTED ON SYNTHROID
(9 27 12) - TSH 1.13
(1 7 13) - TSH 2.8, FT4 0.9
(2 22 13) - TSH 4.26
(4 17 13) - TSH 3.80
(6 28 13) - TSH 1.85, FT4 1.5, FT3 3.1
(8 14 13) - TSH 0.02, FT4, 1.22, they didn't check FT3
and now currently at TSH 0.44 and FT4 1.0

Little back story-- I've endured a lot of traumatic events in my life. Several when I was a child and a long lasting one within the past few years. So I've always had a bit of depression and anxiety. (tried to work on the problems that caused this...but because my anxiety level is so high right now my therapist thinks it will do more harm than good to work on the old stuff right now)
For years now I've always complained to my primary doctor that I was tired all the time. All I did was sleep. I was having hair loss, my mind was all over the place, I had problems sleeping, and I was always freezing cold. Nobody listened to me. It wasn't until I was given a new military doctor that she looked at my past TSH's and noticed a pattern. She ordered a new TSH and antibody test in 9/12 and it came back as having Hashimoto's. I started Synthroid immediately as that is standard practice for military patients.
I kept getting worse... my symptoms increased.

First endo I saw-- "Yes you have Hashimoto's but your TSH isn't bad enough for treatment with medication... you can take it (I was already on Synthroid by my family Dr) but it won't do anything.

I kept getting worse...my symptoms increased and I couldn't function at work at all. I ended up being medically laid off of work.

Went to my family doctor eventually due to an increase in hypo symptoms and she upped my Synthroid based on my TSH levels and symptoms.
Increasing my med made me go VERY hyper. Since that happened I cannot seem to get out of the hyper symptoms. I am shaky, I am cold...then I am sweating like crazy, I cannot think, I cannot sleep without taking my anxiety medication, my hair is coming out in mass (clogging up the shower is no fun), dry skin, constipation/diarrhea problems.

Second endo I saw--Decided I was taking too much Synthroid and decreased it to my original dosage which did nothing to relieve my symptoms (I was wanting to try Armour but every doctor that I've seen has refused...saying it isn't the right thing to take.)

I am now waiting to see a third endo on the 22nd of this month. In the back of my mind I keep wishing they would just take my thyroid...yes I would always be hypo but I would hopefully end this roller coaster effect and could stabilize my anxiety.

Our big dilemma right now is that My anxiety has been so awful. Awful enough that our kids aren't living with us because I have such bad panic attacks around them... they could be hitting each other or screaming around the house and I just get agitated. I have three boys and my husband has three children, two boys and one 19 year old girl. We had 50/50 custody with our ex's... meaning every two weeks they would be at either or house. Once my anxiety increased I soon realized that I couldn't care for myself at times let alone my or my husbands children.

Back story on the kids-- My husband's children have treated me horribly since we've been married (almost 4 years now). His daughter verbally attacked me on an almost daily basis and physically tried to attack me several times...we had to remove her from our house over 2 years ago. I am scared to death of her. What she did to me has "tainted" in my mind her brothers. I see their sister in them...therefore something in me treats them differently. Like I am scared of them too. His youngest has massive anger issues and verbally attacks me. His other son is extremely clingy and has a lot of learning disabilities.

My children have always been good kids. My oldest is 18 and has been a really great calming influence on me just like my husband. He's got one more year left of school then off to the Air Force. My other two sons who are 11 and 12 like to really get on each other's nerves...as brothers. But I cannot seem to handle it.

My husband is having a really difficult time with this. I have tried to educate him on hashimoto's. I have tried to educate him on anxiety and depression.
He thinks that if I go to an inpatient mental facility that they will be able to "fix me". I don't think that would work...I think being around people who have truly real mental illnesses would scare the beejeebees out of me.

Yes, I am on an anti-depressant and an anxiety medication along with taking Synthroid 50 mcg daily. I see a therapist almost weekly.
I don't feel well. Physically my mind is all over the place...I cannot concentrate. I only sleep because of the anxiety medicine. I've lost a lot of weight. I have tremors. My hair is still falling out. Depressed, anxious x 10, pulse racing at times, sweating like crazy or cold like crazy, fuzzy eyes.

Has anyone ever had problems raising their children or stepchildren with this disease? I was medically taken off of work...so I am home all the time.. My husband is in the military and isn't home to care for the children when they are home from school.

I've wanted to move...badly. We live in a rural area and are seeing doctors that the military will pay for (and no we don't have the funds to see anyone out side of the military). We have financial problems and my husband is stressed about that. I see him retiring (which he has to do no matter what in the next two years anyways) and getting a much better paying job (which he's practically already been offered several times) and getting out of the whole that we are in as being a viable option. I would be away from the triggers (yes I know some triggers will follow me) and I could focus on fixing the pre-thyroid issues without the triggers being around me all the time.

I hate that I think this way. He feels pressured and I hate that this is happening. He feels that I am telling him to abandon his children-- maybe I am. I don't know. I feel that if I cannot care for children...why have them at our house only to worry what could happen. There is always a what if...a what could happen. And I don't want that added stress on the children or my husband and I. He sees it as he misses his children and wants them back. He wants our family back together. 
I know my husband loves me... and wants to be with me. I feel the same way. But I also know that this is tearing both of us up and it's all my fault.

Just needing some thoughts or input.
Thanks.


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## Andros (Aug 26, 2009)

seaandy said:


> Long story...sorry if it is a mess I am fuzzy headed.
> 
> I was diagnosed almost 2 years ago with Hashimoto's. It's been a roller coaster between going hypo and hyper. My lab history:
> (5 31 12) - TSH 3.38
> ...


That's some story there and rest assured, you and your husband are not the only ones with difficulty re the children. Sadly.

That said, you do appear hyperthyroid as per your most recent lab results and I do sense that you know it is essential to have that FREE T3 run at this point.

And, it would be a very good idea to have these 2 labs run. Actually, Trab is less expensive and if you have Trab, that means you have TSI.

Here is the info on that.

Trab
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/17684583

TSI
Normally, there is no TSI in the blood. If TSI is found in the blood, this indicates that the thyroid stimulating immunoglobulin is the cause of the of a person's hyperthyroidism.
http://labtestsonline.org/understanding/analytes/thyroid-antibodies/tab/test

It's not at all unusual for a person w/Hashimoto's to end up being hyperthyroid and let me tell you; if you are hyper, your nerves are very very raw.

Here is a bit of info that might interest you.

Psychiatric Manifestations of Hashimoto's Thyroiditis
http://www.drrichardhall.com/Articles/hashimoto.pdf

Hashi's and Graves' closely related
http://www.thyroidmanager.org/chapter/hashimotos-thyroiditis/

Advanced hyper.
http://www.ucsfhealth.org/conditions/hyperthyroidism/signs_and_symptoms.html

Graves' (hyperthyroid), neuropsychiatric
http://gravesdiseasetimbennie.com/ghdsection3of4part2.pdf
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1324966/



It's not all your fault; stuff happens.


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## Lovlkn (Dec 20, 2009)

> (6 28 13) - TSH 1.85, FT4 1.5, FT3 3.1
> (8 14 13) - TSH 0.02, FT4, 1.22, they didn't check FT3
> and now currently at TSH 0.44 and FT4 1.0


I completely agree that you have stimulating antibodies based on these labs with that low of a TSH. A TSI or Trab will confirm that.

Your anxiety is likely tied to your thyroid dysfunction. Your family situation isn't helping your situation.

It is so important for you to have labs other than TSH run, Free T-3 and Free T-4 will tell you the active hormone in your system. TSH is diagnostic and not for dosing. Your symptoms would point to your system going back and forth from hyper and hypo.



> I am now waiting to see a third endo on the 22nd of this month. In the back of my mind I keep wishing they would just take my thyroid...yes I would always be hypo but I would hopefully end this roller coaster effect and could stabilize my anxiety.


Insist this endo run the TSI or Trab tests. If you test positive it will be impossible for you to ever stabilize on medications - until your thyroid is removed. Sounds like you've suffered enough. My opinion - and having both high TPO and TSI - my inability to ever stabilize on anti thyroid med's - I speak from my experiences.


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## Danniswirl (Feb 23, 2013)

I'm sorry your having so much trouble. I believe you need to check your adrenals also with the other test suggested. Please research adrenal fatigue. Hashimotos and Adrenal Fatigue go hand in hand. If you are unable to deal with stress this could be your problem.


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