# I feel like give up... please help



## Enigma (Jun 13, 2011)

I am sorry to write on such a negative note... I just don't know where else to get support. It doesn't seem like anyone really understands.

Since starting Armour I've had really good days and really BAD days (more bad than good). When on the other meds (levoxyl) I had mostly bad days, and the good days were not nearly as good as with Armour.

But my bad days on Armour are horrible. I am crying at ANYTHING and SO depressed. There are good points even on the bad days, so it doesn't seem like depression. At some points of the day I just can't get out of my negative thinking and everything overwhelms me. I just cry and cry and cry.

I've been waking up with nightmares of not being able to eat anything, not being able to breathe and other horrible things. I usually don't have nightmares, but have at some points in the past. I wake up in the morning with a horrible headache and hunger and can't get back to sleep even if I can sleep in.

My body aches again even though it stopped aching when I first started taking Armour (two weeks ago).

My brain fog is so bad on top of everything else I can't follow a simple conversation. i just can't.

I start work this Friday (i'm a teacher) and I'm beside myself about it. I don't know how I am going to function or plan. It takes me hours to complete a lesson plan.

The good days on Armour are the best I've ever felt in my life- I don't even recognize my brain. But these seem to be 1 every 5 days or so.

I am alternating 75 mg and 90 mg as per my doc since I seemed to be a little too revved up at the 90mg. However, I have taken the 90 mg the past 3 days and don't feel revved up anymore, just totally depressed and not functional.

I just don't know what to do. I thought armour was working so well until the last couple of days. I feel like I'm going no where and just don't know what to do. I don't know what I am going to do when I go back to work or how I'm going to function. I don't have any option to not go back to work or take more time off, so i will just have to suck it up some how. I just don't know how.

Sorry for the vent... I am just lost. completely.


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## Enigma (Jun 13, 2011)

*givING up

See... I can't even spell right


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## lainey (Aug 26, 2010)

I am sorry that the medication is not working for you according to plan.

If memory serves, you really hadn't titrated up to the correct dose of T4 medication when you made the switch, correct?

Have you had labs to see where your free T4/T3 and TSH stand? If not, when are they?

Unfortunately, some people do not do well with T3 medications. Symptoms of depression cross over to both hyper and hypo. You really should have some labs to see where you are.


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## Octavia (Aug 1, 2011)

Enigma, I am very concerned about your post. Please see the private message I just sent.


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## Enigma (Jun 13, 2011)

Hi lainey,

I hadn't titrated up to the correct dose of T4 before switching to Armour- you are correct. The meds were making me feel horrible. Overall Armour has been much better except for these dips.

My doctor did not do labs before switching me from 75mcg Levoxyl to 90mg Armour. my last labs were July 5th while at 50mcg levo. I am supposed to go in for followup laps the week before my Sept. 20th appointment. I would like to get labs done prior to see what the heck is going on at the blood level, but not sure if they would show anything after only being on Armour for a little over 2 weeks?

By the way, when I said "give up" I mean on the whole thyroid stuff, not life. I am just so tired of having to keep track of so many variables and changes in symptoms, diet, adrenals, plus everything in life and work in general. I just feel like giving up having to worry about all this. When does it end?? When can I "coast" medically?? ARGH!



lainey said:


> I am sorry that the medication is not working for you according to plan.
> 
> If memory serves, you really hadn't titrated up to the correct dose of T4 medication when you made the switch, correct?
> 
> ...


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## lainey (Aug 26, 2010)

>>The meds were making me feel horrible.<<

You were still hypo in your last labs and not yet taking the correct dose of anything--so how do you blame the meds and not the disease?

You can't rush it or wish it away. There's no way out of it, only through it. We've all done it. You have to be patient and you have to give the meds a chance to work. Any of them. Not just weeks, it takes months.

That goes for the Armour too--2 weeks isn't nearly enough for judgement on that either.

People often have a "honeymoon" of a couple of weeks when changing doses, and then relapse symptoms. Even after you are stable of a dose for a period of time, that can still happen when changing doses. This is what makes the titration process so challenging--at first you may feel better, then things settle a bit--lab work causes more med changes, you have more symptoms and then things settle.

September 20th is fine for labs. Hopefully the doc runs a free T3 to check on the Armour, and hopefully they are aware of the distortions that T3 medications cause in the labs (low TSH, low free T4 and high free T3).


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## Enigma (Jun 13, 2011)

lainy,
Thank you for your response. You have been very patient with me and I really appreciate it. I am not a patient person (could you tell!??!  so this is very hard for me. I guess it is God trying to teach me the value of patience.

I already have the lab slip for the Sept 20-ish lab work, and it does include a FT3 (as well as FT4 and TSH). This nurse practitioner (and the whole clinic) I am going to is very non-traditional (in the GOOD-thyroid way!) when it comes to thyroid problems, as well as adrenals, etc. So this makes me feel a little better and like a little more weight is lifted off my shoulders. They are looking at all aspects of my thryoid/health problems including stress, history, symptoms, etc. and not just lab numbers or textbook definitions. This helps a lot. If I were with my old doctor still, I'd be even more stressed out now (if that is even possible).

My husband asked me today how long it takes to get to the "ideal" dose (even though he knows it might change)? I know there is no hard and fast rule, but what would be a reasonable expectation? I told him at least 8 months to a year, if not longer, especially considering how many problems seem to have cropped up and my sensitivity to meds.

I also weaned off of Effexor this summer (just about a month ago was my last dose) so I think my body is in revolt for that (was on it for about 4 years and other various ADs for 6 years prior to that). Along with diet, meds changes, and med withdrawals, I almost think I am making too many changes to my body at once. But I am not sure how else I could approach this whole process.


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## Enigma (Jun 13, 2011)

lainey said:


> >>The meds were making me feel horrible.<<
> 
> You were still hypo in your last labs and not yet taking the correct dose of anything--so how do you blame the meds and not the disease?


I felt horrible on the meds, worse than before I started taking them.

Or, it was my tendency to read and research way too much and my lack of patience


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## lainey (Aug 26, 2010)

I agree with you about a lot of changes at once. It makes it really hard to sort out the source of anything.

As odd as this sounds, from my own experience I would say that it would help to try to turn your attention away from the symptoms and focus on the task at hand--the start of school. Believe it or not, and I don't want this to come across as being cold, but the distraction helps.

It took me almost 10 months to find the "correct" dose via labs and symptoms when I started. Since then, I have discovered that I actually function quite well over a range of TSH values--what matters is where my free T4 is. Because I had other complications from long term hypothyroidism, it took almost a year after I was on a stable dose for my body to stop "messing" with me--and by that I mean, repeat infections in the winter, allergic reactions to all kinds of things--it took a while for all of it to level out. Last fall, after about 4 years on the same dose, I had an increase in my meds that briefly set me back, symptom-wise, but things leveled out after that.

Not surprisingly, people cycle in and out of the forums on about that time frame. I am not kidding when I say that it takes a while to get there--but most do. One of the reasons I post is to let people know that yes, there is light at the end of the tunnel, long as it may seem


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## lainey (Aug 26, 2010)

Enigma said:


> I felt horrible on the meds, worse than before I started taking them.
> 
> Or, it was my tendency to read and research way too much and my lack of patience


Well, there is something to be said for that. If you are willing to admit it. What matters now is that you stick with one or the other long enough to put your labs in a good spot, and then see what happens.


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## Enigma (Jun 13, 2011)

lainey said:


> As odd as this sounds, from my own experience I would say that it would help to try to turn your attention away from the symptoms and focus on the task at hand--the start of school. Believe it or not, and I don't want this to come across as being cold, but the distraction helps.


I agree. And I *KNOW* this in my head, I just can't seem to get myself physically there often, you know? Sometime my exhaustion and brain is just SO DARN BAD that I can barely get passed it and eat lunch, let alone DO something that involves other people, or driving. This is where I get the most frustrated. When I get over *myself* and do other things or help people, that helps me, but sometimes I just don't feel functional enough to do those things. Especially driving.

I know that work will help me to some extent (as long as my students don't turn out to be troublemakers this year!  ) But I am also afraid, and know, that some days I am just not going to be able to do it. And this is what scares me. I can get away with sleeping/reading/moping all day at home when I feel as horrible as I did today, but I can't do that at work, or while driving. I just don't know how I will get through that.


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## lainey (Aug 26, 2010)

You have to pace yourself and pick and choose your activities so that you can use your energy for the essential things, and ignore the non-essentials.

This sometimes means saying "no" to others who ask for extra. Do not feel obligated to explain--most people who haven't experienced it don't get it.

In my world when I first started treatment, at the time even though it I was an at-home mom, that meant it wasn't defeatist if we had cereal for dinner, because at least we were eating something.

You'll make it. As you get closer to a proper dose, things will level out.


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## Camirae (Sep 26, 2011)

Any news, Enigma?

I feel all a mess, too!  Right now - as in this exact moment - the exhaustion is killing me. All I want to do is sleep, and I slept 9 hours last night after a 2 hour nap!

I haven't found my "sweet spot" yet with the meds, and am waiting ever so patiently (yeah right) for my adrenal test to come back to my doc so we can see how to proceed.

Hang in there.


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