# Anxiety



## I DClaire (Jul 31, 2011)

I started to title my question "Anxiety After Thyroid Surgery" but then kinda' wondered how much anxiety effects all thyroid patients? Something hit me like a ton of bricks today - I really was doing relatively well until one word seemed to strike terror into my very soul - CHRISTMAS!

I've never reacted to Christmas activities and demands like I have this year. I felt great when our visitors were here at Thanksgiving THEN it was the mere word "Christmas" keeps me on the verge of a panic attack and I truly have not felt well one day since.

It's not like Christmas is a huge deal for me. We get a normal amount of invitations to parties, my family exchanges very nominal gifts, I'll have my immediate family here on Christmas Eve for a meal and our little gift exchange but you'd think I was in charge of entertaining hundreds! :anim_63: I'm laughing but my anxiety level is unbelievable...for absolutely no reason!

My mind seems hellbent to agonize about things that don't amount to a hill of beans...to the point where I really believe it's getting to me. Not to mention I'm suddenly compulsive-obsessive about details that are just totally crazy!

I've more or less endured and survived a lot of weird stuff the past couple of years but this time a symptom is taking on a life of its own!


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## Octavia (Aug 1, 2011)

It sounds like your calm/rational side is seriously questioning your anxious side, so I guess that's one thing that's in your favor.

I think this time of year is stressful in general, then to add the thyroid imbalance issues on top of the "normal" stress can be quite a bit to work with.

What's the latest on your meds? (Sorry if I missed it in another thread...I remember you posting a few times in a different thread...just can't remember which thread it was!)


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## I DClaire (Jul 31, 2011)

:anim_63:Well! Isn't this great...and I honestly have to believe you're right (only I hadn't thought of it that way) - at least something in me still has enough sense to realize I'm not behaving or rationalizing things normally. I guess when my bizarre behavior engulfs me to the point where I can no longer differentiate reasonable thoughts from total anxiety THEN I'll have a bigger problem than thyroid imbalance!

I'm taking 125 mcg Synthroid six days a week and then a half dose on Sundays. At first I thought that made a difference but it doesn't.

I find myself wondering if I'll feel a definite improvement on December 26? Seriously, it's almost like Christmas, even though it's really not a huge demand on my time and energy, proved to be the straw that broke the camel's back - as though my soul just couldn't bear one more stressor.

I dunno'...I can no longer tell where thyroid problems stop and mental illness starts - and all I know to do is try to hang in there and do what my doctor suggests. Maybe the truth of the matter is I'm just nuttier than a dang fruitcake! :tongue0015:


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## Enigma (Jun 13, 2011)

I DClaire-

Wow, this is exactly how I feel this year. I haven't had my thyroid out, but this is my first year on thyroid meds. My life has fallen apart in many ways since starting due to anxiety, etc., and Christmas has totally put me over the edge.

The sad thing? Christmas is my FAVORITE time of the year - I look forward to it all year. Play Christmas songs right after Thanksgiving. Pull out decorations before Thanksgiving so I'll be ready to put them up the weekend after. I LOVE Christmas shopping, and usually have it all done by the beginning of November. I LOVE buying just the right gift for each person.

But this year? Just walking in stores that had Christmas stuff out stressed me out. I had to tell my husband that he had to buy things for his side of the family because I just couldn't handle thinking about presents. My husband (who likes Christmas, but likes to start hears songs, etc, on Dec. 20th) had to drag me out to get a Christmas tree and put up decorations. Just thinking about all of these things stressed me out SO much. It's like I can't handle any stress- good or bad. And we have a tiny Christmas- just my husband and me, my parents. Then we go down to his family's out of state for a couple of days. And all good relationships, no problems, but just the thought of doing Christmas things is stressing me out.

It's never been like this until this year.

I know this is probably not helpful, but you aren't alone.


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## Gwen1 (Sep 3, 2011)

[I'm taking 125 mcg Synthroid six days a week and then a half dose on Sundays. At first I thought that made a difference but it doesn't.

I dunno'...I can no longer tell where thyroid problems stop and mental illness starts - and all I know to do is try to hang in there and do what my doctor suggests. Maybe the truth of the matter is I'm just nuttier than a dang fruitcake! :tongue0015:[/QUOTE]

Hi I DClaire, 
Are you decreasing your dosage? I was on too high of a dosage (Levoxyl 125 mcg.) for a year (had extreme symptoms on that dose) and was told to decrease it to six days a week and 1/2 on the seventh day. It has been throwing me off also. I can relate exactly to what you are saying. Anxiety, etc.


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## bigfoot (May 13, 2011)

I DClaire said:


> Maybe the truth of the matter is I'm just nuttier than a dang fruitcake! :tongue0015:


Naaah, but I think most people who like fruitcake *are* nuts! If it can sit in a box for so long, be re-gifted next year, and endure a nuclear winter, perhaps we shouldn't be eating it. :tongue0013:

I can totally understand about the anxiety. I hope that things start getting resolved for you soon! I know this is a total short-term solution for a long-term problem, but have you tried anything like Xanax? I hate a new medication as much as the next person, but a small amount does seem to help for that out-of-nowhere anxiety. I've only used it 3-4 times so far, but it works, for better or worse.

Here's one way to look at it: don't worry, you aren't losing your marbles, it's everyone else. Hah!


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## I DClaire (Jul 31, 2011)

bigfoot said:


> Here's one way to look at it: don't worry, you aren't losing your marbles, it's everyone else. Hah!


You're just being kind. Sadly, I believe I may truly be paranoid schizophrenic, or rather thyroid schizophrenic. Thyroid schizophrenic with twired tendencies.

I have tried Xanax but it didn't phase me. A doctor prescribed it to help me not come unglued everytime I needed blood tests and that was two years before I had to have thyroid/calcium blood tests everytime I turned around. I used to get so upset at labs that often I'd faint but I haven't done that in quite awhile.

I used to enjoy holidays (especially Christmas) more than anybody I knew. I worked as a parttime floral designer from the time my daughter was 6 until she finished middle school and there was nothing I enjoyed more than seasonal decorating...but this year it makes me so nervous trying to do anything. I got up at 5:00 one morning this week to try to tie a bunch of outdoor bows, thinking maybe I wouldn't feel so unsettled working in total solitude, but I still felt strangely "stirred up" as my mother says.

Today I tried to shop but all I bought was a corndog and a Coke. I couldn't make any decisions. I felt overwhelmed by everything. I found two cute necklaces at a store called Charming Charlie, drove myself half crazy trying to decide which one I liked best...then left empty handed. You'd have thought I was buying diamonds instead of $15 rhinestones.

Then I got hung-up at another store over what to buy for a gag gift!

I've been saying for weeks that I do not feel like MYSELF. I'm relatively functional but it's a very weird feeling being this way.


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## shellebean (Oct 12, 2011)

I LOVE Charming Charlie's! Also love corndogs...not a coke person though.


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## Zugora (Feb 14, 2010)

bigfoot said:


> I know this is a total short-term solution for a long-term problem, but have you tried anything like Xanax? I hate a new medication as much as the next person, but a small amount does seem to help for that out-of-nowhere anxiety. I've only used it 3-4 times so far, but it works, for better or worse.


Please, please...whatever you do, do not take Xanax, Ativan, or Klonopin daily for any extended period of time. It is VERY habit-forming without one even being aware of it. Even for a short period of time taking it daily, you can go through MAJOR withdrawal that can last for months. It's definitely your thyroid, your thyroid meds, or your hormones. Easier said than done, but try to figure out the imbalance and/or right medication/dosing first. Hang in there. I have anxiety through the roof right now, too --- for no reason. It's not in your head.


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## McKenna (Jun 23, 2010)

Zugora said:


> Please, please...whatever you do, do not take Xanax, Ativan, or Klonopin daily for any extended period of time. It is VERY habit-forming without one even being aware of it. Even for a short period of time taking it daily, you can go through MAJOR withdrawal that can last for months. .


I second this. Be very, very careful with any benzo. They are not meant to be taken for longer than two weeks (IMO, the time should be shorter) and that's according to the manufacturers own recomendations.

You have been through so much, diagnosis, surgery, medicine (which is not yet optimized) and the thought of something else that you have to deal with just feels like "too much" on your already over taxed system. That's all it is. Having to deal with one more thing, even as enjoyable as Christmas, is one thing too many. You need time to rest and heal, but these decisions and things to deal with are subconciously preventing that. Do you understand what I'm trying to say? Your brain perceives anything beyond healing as too much right now.
Don't read too much into how you feel and try to go with the flow. hugs3


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## I DClaire (Jul 31, 2011)

This morning I did something I probably shouldn't have done but I figured it was worth a try - I only took 1/2 of a 125 mcg Synthroid on Saturday AND I intend to do the same thing tomorrow morning.

My reasoning was the last time I saw my endocrinologist she initially suggested I *skip *one dose a week. That idea nearly took my breath away - I told her (because I was so totally convinced my problem was not enough Synthroid instead of too much) I just was terrified to try such a thing - and that's when she said to only take a half dose on Sunday.

The first time or two I only took a half dose on Sunday I thought I felt better...but I then started sliding back into the same problems, which I kinda' suspect are "hyperthyroid" symptoms.

This morning I took a half dose - I've had a thoroughly enjoyable and productive day!

I'm going to call the doctor Monday and tell her, my guess is she'll probably tease me that that was what she wanted to do in the first place.

The thing I do not understand though is my doctor doesn't _seem_ to think (maybe I misunderstood what she was saying) Synthroid effects a person that quickly. I think that's her sole reason for always wanting me to stay on something for 4-6 weeks before re-checking with labs. Maybe it's just the power of suggestion but I so wondrously enjoyed and appreciated the way I've felt today.

I wish I had a better understanding of what Synthroid actually does? I tend to want to equate Synthroid with one word - energy. The more Synthroid, the more energy...but I know that's not right. I feel like I have more energy the times I've taken less Synthroid and I feel infinitely less anxiety, I feel calmer, and I actually feel like I have more stamina.


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## bigfoot (May 13, 2011)

I DClaire said:


> The thing I do not understand though is my doctor doesn't _seem_ to think (maybe I misunderstood what she was saying) Synthroid effects a person that quickly. I think that's her sole reason for always wanting me to stay on something for 4-6 weeks before re-checking with labs. Maybe it's just the power of suggestion but I so wondrously enjoyed and appreciated the way I've felt today.


Good to hear! I dunno, I am starting to realize that medication affects everyone in different ways, regardless of what a doc (and to a lesser extent, pharmacist) might say. From my own experience, I seem to notice changes after a couple of days with any boost up in Levoxyl, although I'm sure it does eventually fully peak at the ~6 week mark.

Hope this continues for you! hugs3


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## bigfoot (May 13, 2011)

McKenna said:


> I second this. Be very, very careful with any benzo. They are not meant to be taken for longer than two weeks (IMO, the time should be shorter) and that's according to the manufacturers own recomendations.


Thank you guys for mentioning that. It's definitely not something to just take daily like a vitamin.


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## I DClaire (Jul 31, 2011)

So far I'm having another wonderfully "normal" day after another half dose of Synthroid this morning. Someone told me one time that I'd know when the dose was right for me and if yesterday and today hold, this might be getting close.

I don't feel hyper, I have absolutely no palpitations nor sense that my heart is racing, I just feel what seems like dramatically normal. I don't feel like Superwoman but I feel like things are happening at a consistent rate as far as my energy level.

I got up early, went to church - later tonight my husband and I are singing in a choir pageant that is a huge part of Christmas to me and I have every reason to believe I'll be fine.

I'll tell y'all what REALLY made me painfully aware that the anxiety-thing was getting out of hand was a terrible accident I caused in a popular store a couple of days ago. I was trying to shop but felt wildly anxious, oddly nervous/shaky, almost a tiny bit disoriented or just like nothing felt normal to me - and then I bumped into a large, pottery vase and it hit the floor like a bomb and broke in a million pieces. I knew right then I was in some kind of goofy crisis. My whole body felt like it was shaking.

The next morning, I just decided I'm going to trust my doctor's first recommendation about the Synthroid and cut my weekly dosage by one whole dose, spread out over 2 days.

I felt spectacular immediately after cutting my original dose in half for one day a week but slowly slipped back into trouble and this new attempt may fail but I have to believe I'm at least going in the right direction. I WANT more Synthroid because my feeble mind equates more thyroid hormone with more energy but I'm trying to give up that mindset and just see what happens.

When you feel SO hopelessly lousy and feeling lousy makes you dismally depressed, every good hour seems like a blessing.


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## Enigma (Jun 13, 2011)

I DClaire-

Have you talked to your doctor about fillers and/or dyes in the Synthroid possibly being a problem? I react to medications and food in such WEIRD ways, and when other (non-thyroid) meds have been changed around from generic company to name brand, to another generic, I can definitely tell the difference. Some fillers or dyes really bother me. One endo I saw for a consult mentioned this to me- I hadn't thought of this possibility. He wanted me to take only dosages that could be made out of .50 mcg tablets (ALL brand and generics lack any dyes in the .50 mcg tabs). So, for my .75mcg he wanted me to take a .5 and half of a .5 each day. I didn't end up staying with him so didn't fill his Rx. However, I did ask my PCP to give me Tirosint which is the only levothyroxine gel capsule made- only gelatin, glycerine, water, and levothyroxine. Nothing else. About as hypo-allergenic as you can get without going to a compounding pharmacy. I've taken it for about 2 weeks now and don't feel as nauseas after I take it like I did with the tablets, and no burning/hunger/gnawing sensations in my stomach. I think my body can handle this better than whatever was in the tablets. FYI- None of the doctors (endos or otherwise) or pharmacists had heard of Tirosint (since it's relatively new) so you'd be smart to bring in the Rxing info from their website. They also have "Get your first Rx free" coupons on their site.

I would really recommend trying one or the other - dye-free tabs or Tirosint. It's the same medicine (not like switching to Armour) but will take out other possible variables that could be making your body/mind feel horrible. Even if your body doesn't mind Synthroid, it might just handle gel caps better and make it one less thing your body has to be working at while you're recovering.


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## I DClaire (Jul 31, 2011)

I had such a good day today (2 in a row) - right now I find myself thinking I've found myself! :anim_40: Maybe we could find a bookie and everyone make bets how long my new-found good feelings will last??? Today was a really good day though!

Talking about "fillers" though and prescriptions changing, my son-in-law took a drug for a long time and it helped him tremendously. Then he realized the drug not only wasn't working but it seemed to be making him physically ill. I don't know how long it was before he realized the pharmaceutical company had changed some ingredients...and he has never been able to tolerate the new formula.

I had trouble with a generic brand. I'd been taking a name brand for several months when for some reason I was switched to the generic...which the pharmacist initially swore was identical. I had a totally different reaction to the generic than the brand name and later another pharmacist at the same location told me a lot of people had had problems.

I hate taking medicine and I wish I didn't have to...but I'm also thankful it is available and probably does infinitely more good than harm.


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## bigfoot (May 13, 2011)

How's today going for you? Good, I hope! hugs3


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## Lovlkn (Dec 20, 2009)

I DClaire said:


> I had such a good day today (2 in a row) - right now I find myself thinking I've found myself! :anim_40: Maybe we could find a bookie and everyone make bets how long my new-found good feelings will last??? Today was a really good day though!
> 
> Talking about "fillers" though and prescriptions changing, my son-in-law took a drug for a long time and it helped him tremendously. Then he realized the drug not only wasn't working but it seemed to be making him physically ill. I don't know how long it was before he realized the pharmaceutical company had changed some ingredients...and he has never been able to tolerate the new formula.
> 
> ...


Some history on dosage please.

I thought right off the bat that you were hyper and over medicated based on your symptoms.

I had intense anxiety a few years ago despite in range FT-4 and FT-3 being just slightly over 1/2way , which to most isn't hyper but for me it was more than my body could take - at the time. Today I am at the same levels with no symptoms.

Sometimes it may take your body awhile to adjust so don't think what you take today will be the same forever.

Be sure and find a level dose and re-test in 6 weeks.


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## I DClaire (Jul 31, 2011)

I have had a very long day but I felt fine and am rather proud of how I was able to deal with a lot of things. My husband slipped back into A-Fib last Thursday and is still having heart rhythm problems tonight. This morning we went back to see the cardiologist but he wants to try another drug before doing the "shock paddle" conversion...saying Paul may simply be at the point now where he might live the rest of his life in A-Fib, but the A-Fib he has is not life-threatening and he hopes he can get it back under control.

Anyway, we dealt with all that until noon. Then I had my yearly mammogram. Then I Christmas shopped until 5:00 P.M. THEN...I walked my dog! arty0030: I've had a pretty long day...and I still feel quite well at 8:00 P.M. I'm fixing to wrap or at least get ready to wrap a few gifts.

Lovlkn, I started out on 125 mcg Synthroid the morning after my surgery and I felt like a million bucks for the first few weeks, then things seemed to get worse almost every day. I had to wait right at two months to have my first real lab tests then I saw my endocrinologist for the first time since surgery a week later.

She wanted me to skip my Synthroid one day a week but I begged off, thinking I'd feel worse. Thanksgiving was approaching and I was desperately afraid I'd feel too tired to enjoy everything. She said I could take my usual dose six days a week and then only take a half a pill every Sunday.

Immediately after I began doing that I felt better...but again, not long afterwards my symptoms intensified and I'm all but positive they were hyperthyroid symptoms (anxiety, jittery, tired, etc.). The endocrinologist said she suspected my body doesn't process drugs normally and I agreed, I can easily believe that.

Then, last weekend, after the anxiety and jitteryness all but became unbearable, I decided to try the doctor's original suggestion and I skipped half a 125 mcg Synthroid on Saturday and Sunday. Today I went back to my normal dose.

I don't think I could feel much more normal than I've felt the last three days. One thing I've noticed is my appetite is better (or worse :ashamed0003: - I'm hungrier) but my blood pressure and heart rate are good and I've been sleeping like a baby. One of the most obvious changes I've noticed is I feel kinda' ready to start a day when I wake up in the morning - last week I honestly felt so exhausted, even after sleeping all night, that I was staying in bed until 8:00-9:00 A.M. Now I get up, fix breakfast, and get with the program.

My husband tells me I seem like myself again and I actually think I look better - my coloring had become odd, too pale, etc. I really think I'm getting somewhere...and I am making hay while the sun shines!! I was getting worried about not being able to do things I wanted to do for Christmas but I'm marking a few things off my list!

I forgot! My next big labs are December 22 and I'll see my endocrinologist a week later.


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## Octavia (Aug 1, 2011)

IDC, I am so glad to hear you are feeling good!


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## I DClaire (Jul 31, 2011)

This morning is proving to be a test! My pug went to bed itching/scratching last night but I couldn't find anything wrong. At 2:00 A.M., he woke me up scratching and whimpering. I got up and literally examined every inch of his body (thankfully he's a small dog) and I found what could be a cyst or (y'all know old paranoid me) a mast cell tumor.

The veterinarian is going to work us in around 3:30ish but I am a little unsettled - but not the state of general panic I usually feel when something unexpected scares me.


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## joplin1975 (Jul 21, 2011)

Aw, we'll keep all our paws crossed around here that your pug-ster bump is a harmless cyst!


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## Andros (Aug 26, 2009)

I DClaire said:


> This morning is proving to be a test! My pug went to bed itching/scratching last night but I couldn't find anything wrong. At 2:00 A.M., he woke me up scratching and whimpering. I got up and literally examined every inch of his body (thankfully he's a small dog) and I found what could be a cyst or (y'all know old paranoid me) a mast cell tumor.
> 
> The veterinarian is going to work us in around 3:30ish but I am a little unsettled - but not the state of general panic I usually feel when something unexpected scares me.


Here is hoping it is a sebaceous cyst. Sparky has a couple. Please let us know. Poor little tyke!


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## I DClaire (Jul 31, 2011)

We're leaving in about 5 minutes. My anxiety level is tremendous. It always scares the wits out of me to take a dog to the veterinarian - I'm so afraid of bad news.


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## Octavia (Aug 1, 2011)

Emmitt the Pug's paws are crossed at my house...


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## bigfoot (May 13, 2011)

Good luck, sure it will be ok, and our dog says "woof, woof"!


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## Gwen1 (Sep 3, 2011)

That's exactly how I feel when I'm taking myself to the doctor!


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## I DClaire (Jul 31, 2011)

Gwen1 said:


> That's exactly how I feel when I'm taking myself to the doctor!


:ashamed0003: I give new meaning to "white coat syndrome" when I have to go to the doctor BUT I am worse anytime I have to take a dog to the veterinarian. One time I took my late Rosebud for dental work and the veterinarian came out to speak to me in the waiting room carrying a tiny vial of blood they'd just tested. I passed out cold!

I love our veterinarian but I can barely get dressed and drive there because of the sense of impending doom I ALWAYS feel...even when there is not a big problem. I don't like being there and seeing other sick or injured pets.

Jimbo is O.K. The veterinarian said the little cyst I found had probably been there for a long time and it was not causing the scratching. He's going to cautherize it in January when "Bo" has his teeth cleaned - another thing that scares me to death. Pugs don't do well with anesthesia, many die during routine procedures like dentals or spay/neuter surgeries.

I'm tired tonight and fixin' to drag myself to bed. We have been so busy today that I never really had time to eat. :anim_63:


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## wickets_mommy (May 5, 2010)

I went through a similar scare with my shih tzu. He has a cyst right on top of his head (I hide it with a top knot). Wicket and I are hoping you get the same news and that it is a benign cyst. Hugs!


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## Octavia (Aug 1, 2011)

Glad to hear little Jimbo is okay. I always hate taking my pugs in for surgery, too. Pugs are just...fragile. But I'm addicted to them! I got a notice recently about a little black female pug that's available, and although I'm tempted, we are so spoiled with our very cute and ver well-behaved Emmitt, I don't think I want to ruin a good thing by bringing in another dog. We'll just be one-puggers for now!


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## Andros (Aug 26, 2009)

I DClaire said:


> :ashamed0003: I give new meaning to "white coat syndrome" when I have to go to the doctor BUT I am worse anytime I have to take a dog to the veterinarian. One time I took my late Rosebud for dental work and the veterinarian came out to speak to me in the waiting room carrying a tiny vial of blood they'd just tested. I passed out cold!
> 
> I love our veterinarian but I can barely get dressed and drive there because of the sense of impending doom I ALWAYS feel...even when there is not a big problem. I don't like being there and seeing other sick or injured pets.
> 
> ...


Yay, Jimbo!!!! What wonderful news. Thank the Good Lord! We all love our pets dearly and certainly understand how you have felt because what is really scary is that our pets cannot "tell" us. That is the really bad part.

All's well that ends well!!


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