# mental and emotional issues...?



## nyy10

Hi eveyone. I'm new here; I wish I'd found these boards when I was diagnosed back in February... So, I'm posting because I can just feel Graves coming on again. (I went into remission in August.) I'm going for my regular bloodwork on Saturday, which I get because I am also a Type 1 Diabetic, and I'd be a million dollars I'm hyper again. If not, then something else is definitely wrong. I'm feeling anxiety and my resting pulse is up to about 120 BPM regularly. My face is also breaking out (fantastic) and my blood sugar is out of control.

Aside from my ranting, I do have a question... How do you feel mentally with Graves? My first round I was pretty okay, but recently I feel extremely sad all the time. I cried three times today; I'm always about to burst into tears. Seeing as I'm usually a happy person, this freaks me out a little. I've also been extremely forgetful, and I can't seem to speak well... My words have been getting mixed up when I talk or even write. Has this happened to anyone? I'm seventeen, and I'm taking 3 AP classes this year, so I am extremely worried that the difficulty concentrating and forgetfulness is going to be a major problem. Help, anyone? Thanks in advance!


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## AngeInBoston

Hi Nyy10, welcome to the Board!

I' still new to this to, my 11 yr old was just diagnosed. Over the past year she's had a LOT of emotional problems and "Graves Rages". From everything I've been reading, your feelings all seem to be common symptoms. I'd advise you to see your Dr ASAP and bring a list of all the symptoms you can recognize.

Good luck, hope you feel better and the Foggy Brain clears soon!

~Ange


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## GD Women

It would help to know which treatment you are doing or meds. you are taking, as well as your thyroid levels, all three (TSH and both FTs) with Labs reference range. If your present treatment is not working you might have to opt for another one, especially if you want get through your classes.

I am on anxiety meds. for Graves' Rage. Tried antidepressants first but was allergic to opted for anxiety medication in which now I take on an as need bases.

With Graves there is no remission. Once we have Graves' we always have Graves because there is no cure for Graves', just the hyper side. Graves' is autoimmune and there is no cure for autoimmune diseases, to date.

Your "regular blood work" I assume includes thyroid. I definitely think something is going on with you which needs to be corrected one way or another.

Let us know how your blood work turns out - get copies! with lab reference range(s). Until then good luck and hope you feel better soon.


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## nyy10

Thanks to you both!

Just to clear things up...

Yup I know that Graves is never cured, but my levels were all normal after my last bloodwork in August, so my doctor considered it remission (since Graves is always in your body but it doesn't always appear to be, if you will). My grandma actually went into a lifelong remission, so I was hoping maybe I wouldn't have any problems with it again... Didn't happen obviously. I am currently off of meds... In June I was taken off meds in order to become hyper thyroid again for RAI treatment, but I ended up going into remission, so I never got the treatment. Long story, I know... And yes my regular blood work includes complete thyroid testing.

Thanks again. Hopefully I won't be so dumb soon once my treatment starts (assuming this is all Graves again.) I'm a regular space cadet!


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## desrtbloom

I was a mental and emotional MESS!!! I would cry some days from the second I got up until the time I went to bed. Not just cry, but sob. I couldn't stop it. And emotionally I was just a mess. Mentally wasn't better as I thought I had freaking Old Timers! It was absolutely horrible and frightening.

Anyway, it is "normal" with Graves to have mental and emotional problems. Get to the doc!

*Bighug*


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## mommyjewel

I feel forgetful all the time too. I am not sure if this will work but here is the link to my question about memory problems/forgetfulness:

http://thyroidboards.com/showthread.php?t=1730

Mentally and physically I feel so run down and tired now, before I had anxiety and I was scattered all the time. Before I knew that I was hyper someone suggested that I might be bipolar. With the thyroid treatment most of those symptoms went away. I also had the graves rages.

hugs1


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## GD Women

thechadmanhl2 said:


> I got the Radioactive treatment when i turned 18, and if i could, i would have never done it. Once you take the Radioactive pill, no more thyroid. So now im taking a pill daily to survive.
> 
> so take some advice, anti-thyroid medication has some percentage that it will cure you, so live for that percentage, once you get the RAI treatment, you will have to take pills every single day for the rest of your life, no going back.


People are under the misconception that RAI totally kills off the thyroid. This is not true in a lot of cases. It would have to be a very high dose to totally kill the thyroid and kill it right away. Sometimes RAI will take years to do its total job. I knew of a women who still wasn't on thyroid medication 5 yrs after her RAI. The rest of us just because we take a little pill doesn't necessarily mean that all the thyroid is totally destroyed. Until we reach thyroid medication of 250 and above can we say thyroid is totally destroyed. Until then we still have partial functioning thyroid.

Anti-thyroid medication is not a solution for everyone. It has its draw backs as well - liver problems for just one. Plus it is not a 100% cure and many people relapse. The more relapse a person has, the less chance RAI will work, so the higher the dose will have to be.

All three have their draw backs and its up to the person which treatment option to chose by which is best for them and their life style.

By the way, I go on vacations and much more. No little pill is going to be my excuse for keeping me down.


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## poohbear61

Oh boy can I relate. Another 2 weeks before I receive treatment, and the rollercoaster is in full rocket mode. High on life one day, irritated beyond all reason the next, then sobbing on the couch all day the next. My endo likened it to a meth addict, said the hormones affect your brain in much the same way. I keep trying to "go with the flow" and remind myself that this, too, shall pass. And remind my family of the same, that this is a manifestation of the disease and I am not angry or unhappy with them.


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## pamela24

Hi there folks,
Im fairly new to this too, still waiting on my docs confirmed diagnosis which will be next week. He is positive GD.

I had Radio uptake scan last week. I had to ask for help on the forum about coping without my meds. Forum has been a godsend to me.

I have never been so frightened in my life my doctor told me nothing about graves I only know what I have learned here. I felt really seriously suicidal I couldn't stop crying shaking sobing it took ages before it subsided. 
Saw GP in between stoping starting meds as I felt so ill so angry so depressed. Doctor never said a word about any of the rage the depression the horrible thoughts the only thing that kept me going was knowing it would subside.

I started to keep a daily diary it reads like someone who needs to be sent to a mental institution lol.

I am laughing now but believe me I wasn't over the last few weeks. I have brought forward my endo app as I cannot cope another three weeks like this. I also have a swollen neck and a goiter.

I am at a loss as of what to expect from endo as I haven't had any other blood work done they keep saying no need as yet.

I don't like the thought of RAI treatment, I cannot bear to feel like this as I do now I'm finding it really hard to cope with the ups and downs of under medicated over medicated. On ptu 100mg 2 times daily stopped the propanol 10mg 3 times daily as I feel better off it than on.

I am so surprised about the way this affects you emotionally and mentally and I don't think anything could have prepared me for how I have felt inside. No where do I read about these issues, when I google graves disease, other than the forums.

Its so misleading and doc is so so so about it like its a common cold you'll get over it.

Sorry for ranting on :hugs: from me to everyone who needs one today

Pamela


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## Debbie from Milwaukee

Pamela:
Sooooo sorry you have had to experience the horrors of Grave's disease. To highlight what you are saying, I read on a forum one time that a woman who was newly diagnosed with Grave's found herself out of her car and hitting someone's windshield when they "stole" her parking place! When my 17 year old daughter was in the throes of the disorder, she cried herself to sleep and told me she felt like she was crawling out of her skin.

Hope you stick with this forum. Folks will give you good ideas of questions to ask the docs, links to educate yourself on the disorder, and where to read up on research for the primary 3 treatments to Grave's (anti-thyroid meds, RAI, and sometimes surgery). Everyone's situation and system is different, so you'll need to carefully consider what your doc and the research says and how it relates to you. Wish you the best during this trying time in your life!


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## Andros

nyy10 said:


> Hi eveyone. I'm new here; I wish I'd found these boards when I was diagnosed back in February... So, I'm posting because I can just feel Graves coming on again. (I went into remission in August.) I'm going for my regular bloodwork on Saturday, which I get because I am also a Type 1 Diabetic, and I'd be a million dollars I'm hyper again. If not, then something else is definitely wrong. I'm feeling anxiety and my resting pulse is up to about 120 BPM regularly. My face is also breaking out (fantastic) and my blood sugar is out of control.
> 
> Aside from my ranting, I do have a question... How do you feel mentally with Graves? My first round I was pretty okay, but recently I feel extremely sad all the time. I cried three times today; I'm always about to burst into tears. Seeing as I'm usually a happy person, this freaks me out a little. I've also been extremely forgetful, and I can't seem to speak well... My words have been getting mixed up when I talk or even write. Has this happened to anyone? I'm seventeen, and I'm taking 3 AP classes this year, so I am extremely worried that the difficulty concentrating and forgetfulness is going to be a major problem. Help, anyone? Thanks in advance!


I was a blithering mess. I am so glad I decided to have my thyroid nuked.

This may be a help to you.

http://www.ngdf.org/cms/modules/files/uploads/7699.PDF


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## AngeInBoston

Hi Pam,

I totally agree about it being difficult and overwhelming to learn about this disease! Maybe the Dr just didn't want to overwhelm me, and probably it's because in today's world Drs just don't have the time to sit and explain in detail to teach you about your diagnosis. But then, I get the feeling when I mention something that I learned "Online", I feel I'm getting the big eyeroll like nothing learned online could possibly be accurate...what the heck Drs, you can't have it both ways! As patients (or loved ones of patients), it is OUR responsibility to be our own advocates and learn everything possible, keep meticulous notes, and bring lists of questions to each appointment.


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## GD Women

pamela24 said:


> .
> I don't like the thought of RAI treatment, I cannot bear to feel like this as I do now I'm finding it really hard to cope with the ups and downs of under medicated over medicated. On ptu 100mg 2 times daily stopped the propanol 10mg 3 times daily as I feel better off it than on.
> Pamela


*Patient misconceptions and ethical challenges in radioactive iodine scanning and therapy *
ABSTRACT
The use and nature of radioactive iodine (RAI) are complex topics for patients with thyroid conditions to understand. Fear and anxiety over its use, misinformation in patient advocacy books and on the Internet, medical jargon, confusion regarding postscanning and posttreatment procedures, patient literacy, thyroid health status, and several other socioeconomic factors can create serious barriers to genuine informed consent in RAI scanning and treatment. The following discussion will review the origins of patient misconceptions and misinterpretations, including international differences in physician attitudes regarding RAI usage.
http://tech.snmjournals.org/cgi/content/full/34/3/143


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## lavender

poohbear61 said:


> Oh boy can I relate. Another 2 weeks before I receive treatment, and the rollercoaster is in full rocket mode. High on life one day, irritated beyond all reason the next, then sobbing on the couch all day the next. My endo likened it to a meth addict, said the hormones affect your brain in much the same way. I keep trying to "go with the flow" and remind myself that this, too, shall pass. And remind my family of the same, that this is a manifestation of the disease and I am not angry or unhappy with them.


I love the meth addict analogy. I have worked in addictions, and this is the easiest way for me to understand what Graves did to me physically and emotionally. I think having Graves hyperthyroid was very similar to being on large doses of speed (or meth) constantly for months at a time. For a short while, I had more energy and did more than I usually could, but then, as my thyroid hormones increased for months, my body could no longer speed up, it just collapsed. 
Most addicts who use uppers take them in cycles, they use for a few days and stay up really high, then they crash for a while. With Graves, the thyroid hormones just keep increasing constantly, our bodies do not have a chance to rest. It felt like my whole body physically and mentally went into melt down.

I had all the mental symptoms: Anxiety, Rage, depression, brain fog, memory problems, depersonalization, no concentration. I was exhausted, yet I couldn't sleep. My heart was beating so fast and hard, I thought it would explode, even on really high doses of propranolol. Felt like I was walking around on a cloud, disconnected from the world all the time. I also remember feeling like I was high on drugs. I feel like I can really understand what my former mental health patients felt like. I wanted to get up and participate in society: go to work every day, pay my bills, drive a car; but I just couldn't focus enough to do anything. I have had PTSD for years, and with the help of a good therapist, I have been able to function in spite of it. Not so with Graves disease. All the therapy in the world could not make me functional while my thyroid hormones were raging. Several months of methimazole helped a little, but I was still not able to function.

When I tried to explain to my endocrinologist what was going on mentally, he said it had nothing to do with my thyroid. It really helped to have this board and other on-line info to tell me this was normal and that I was not totally crazy.

I had my thyroid removed two months ago, and the mental symptoms are better, but not perfect. I am no longer experiencing the depersonalization, and I do not feel high anymore. My bills are organized and paid. I can drive a car again. The anxiety is nothing like it was. I can finish typing a sentence.

However, I do not feel mentally the same as I did before my Graves started acting up. My memory is still shot, and I am struggling to concentrate as well as I could before. I have had depression while hypothyroid that is nothing like what I have felt before. When my synthroid dose is raised, I start to feel anxiety, racing heart and find myself having inappropriate rage when I am not happy with the way I react to people and situations. I know that having a history of PTSD complicates my situation, but I also feel like what I am experiencing now is different from what I have experienced with PTSD in the past. I am hoping this gets better as my doc and I work out an appropriate thyroid hormone replacement.


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## Andros

lavender said:


> I love the meth addict analogy. I have worked in addictions, and this is the easiest way for me to understand what Graves did to me physically and emotionally. I think having Graves hyperthyroid was very similar to being on large doses of speed (or meth) constantly for months at a time. For a short while, I had more energy and did more than I usually could, but then, as my thyroid hormones increased for months, my body could no longer speed up, it just collapsed.
> Most addicts who use uppers take them in cycles, they use for a few days and stay up really high, then they crash for a while. With Graves, the thyroid hormones just keep increasing constantly, our bodies do not have a chance to rest. It felt like my whole body physically and mentally went into melt down.
> 
> I had all the mental symptoms: Anxiety, Rage, depression, brain fog, memory problems, depersonalization, no concentration. I was exhausted, yet I couldn't sleep. My heart was beating so fast and hard, I thought it would explode, even on really high doses of propranolol. Felt like I was walking around on a cloud, disconnected from the world all the time. I also remember feeling like I was high on drugs. I feel like I can really understand what my former mental health patients felt like. I wanted to get up and participate in society: go to work every day, pay my bills, drive a car; but I just couldn't focus enough to do anything. I have had PTSD for years, and with the help of a good therapist, I have been able to function in spite of it. Not so with Graves disease. All the therapy in the world could not make me functional while my thyroid hormones were raging. Several months of methimazole helped a little, but I was still not able to function.
> 
> When I tried to explain to my endocrinologist what was going on mentally, he said it had nothing to do with my thyroid. It really helped to have this board and other on-line info to tell me this was normal and that I was not totally crazy.
> 
> I had my thyroid removed two months ago, and the mental symptoms are better, but not perfect. I am no longer experiencing the depersonalization, and I do not feel high anymore. My bills are organized and paid. I can drive a car again. The anxiety is nothing like it was. I can finish typing a sentence.
> 
> However, I do not feel mentally the same as I did before my Graves started acting up. My memory is still shot, and I am struggling to concentrate as well as I could before. I have had depression while hypothyroid that is nothing like what I have felt before. When my synthroid dose is raised, I start to feel anxiety, racing heart and find myself having inappropriate rage when I am not happy with the way I react to people and situations. I know that having a history of PTSD complicates my situation, but I also feel like what I am experiencing now is different from what I have experienced with PTSD in the past. I am hoping this gets better as my doc and I work out an appropriate thyroid hormone replacement.


It does get better; mentally and physically. Expect about 18 months. Everything has been damaged in one way or another. I liken it to putting "Humpty Dumpty" together again.

I availed my self of a good counselor. It was worth every penny. 2 years worth. I will never be the same but I happen to think that I am even better now. I am a new me and I like her!


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## pamela24

Thanks guys, at the moment my sanity depends on this forum, or anyway thats how it seems to me.
I really appreciate reading all your posts and I wish I could take forum to endo and say, see... read this and this see how I feel ( feel how I feel ) sorry its the Scottish accent coming out there...lol

I know it will get better for us all through time.

Regards

Pamela


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## lavender

pamela24 said:


> Thanks guys, at the moment my sanity depends on this forum, or anyway thats how it seems to me.
> I really appreciate reading all your posts and I wish I could take forum to endo and say, see... read this and this see how I feel ( feel how I feel ) sorry its the Scottish accent coming out there...lol
> 
> I know it will get better for us all through time.
> 
> Regards
> 
> Pamela


I can totally relate. There have been many times when I felt like my endo looked at me like I was completely nuts, and I wished he could see this forum and have a clue that I was not the only person with Graves disease whose mental health was affected. This forum has helped me to know that I am not alone, that I am not crazy, and to have faith that treating my Graves disease would help me feel better physically and emotionally no matter what he thought.


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## lavender

Andros said:


> It does get better; mentally and physically. Expect about 18 months. Everything has been damaged in one way or another. I liken it to putting "Humpty Dumpty" together again.
> 
> I availed my self of a good counselor. It was worth every penny. 2 years worth. I will never be the same but I happen to think that I am even better now. I am a new me and I like her!


I have been in therapy for almost 7 years, My therapist is wonderful, and I know that it helps. Looking back, I know that the person I was when I started would scarcely recognize who I am today, and I am very proud of the progress I have made.

For whatever reason, I am just tired of therapy right now. I want to be better and not to have to work so hard at it. I was at a point where I could really see a lot of progress when my Graves Disease hit. After 10 years of thinking about it, I had finally applied and been accepted to graduate school on a full scholarship, and now I am not sure that I am capable of doing the work. I know that I am smart, but I can barely read the text books. I forget whatever I have read 2 minutes later. I am having a really hard time accepting that I have this whole new level of healing to do. I just want to feel better and move on with my life.

I also seem to have a hard time justifying the expense. My current therapist does not accept my student insurance, and even her reduced rates are not cheap. I have tried to look elsewhere in the past, but have never found anyone half as decent willing or able to work with my list of issues. I have never made a whole heck of a lot in social work, and now that I am in school, I am trying to survive on student loans until I feel well enough to handle a job on top of my studies. I have applied for every bit of government aide that is available, but it's hard to trust that the money will be there when I look at the pile of medical bills and dwindling bank account.

I know that what has worked in the past has been to do what I can and turn the rest over to God. I have always been taken care of despite some pretty impossible situations. Some days it just feels hard to have faith that I will be ok in the end.


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## pamela24

Hi Lavender,

Just to say, thinking of you and your situation and please stay strong, try and be positive and hopefully then you will attract that positive energy back to you, as you say seven years is a long time and you have got this far.

I am not religious but I have some kind of faith and I believe like you its gotten me through the bad times. I know I found this forum at a very bad time and believe me it has helped me through some very bad days lately.

keep your chin up and believe in that future you have ahead of you.

Big hugs to everyone

Pamela


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## lavender

Thanks for the encouragement Pamela,
As I was writing, I found myself in tears. Getting in touch with one more level of this healing process. I guess this means I have more work to do in therapy
I went and met with some friends, just got in, and I am feeling a lot better. Sometimes, I think I just have to let out the frustration so that I can move on.


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## AngeInBoston

Maybe you should consider getting a new Endo who you feel understands you and your symptoms better? Also do they give GD patients Meds to help with the rages, anxiety and depression? Even though I'm Hypo, I have rage and anxiety issues and I do get meds for them.


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## lavender

AngeInBoston said:


> Maybe you should consider getting a new Endo who you feel understands you and your symptoms better? Also do they give GD patients Meds to help with the rages, anxiety and depression? Even though I'm Hypo, I have rage and anxiety issues and I do get meds for them.


I am on the lookout for a new endo, but I do not want to can the one I have until I have someone I feel good about. I am also thinking about seeing if my PCP will manage this since she has a better holistic view of my history and care. I met with her about a week and a half ago to discuss all of this, and we are following up next week. She does not want to prescribe anti-depressants or anti-anxiety meds to me because I have a lot of medication allergies, and anti-depressants have not been helpful to me in the past. My body does not tolerate chemicals well, and her suggestion is more therapy. I tend to agree with her because any med I take seems to cause more problems than it solves. I just have a weird body. 
I ultimately know that therapy is a good tool for me. I think I just needed to whine about it for a while. I am training to be a therapist myself so it's pretty silly of me to give up on the service I will ultimately be trying to sell people in a few years. 
I am trying to brainstorm therapy options that may be more affordable. Prob is my current therapist can charge so much because she is a needle in a haystack. It is quite possible that locating a therapist willing to take on my issues is more difficult than finding a good endo. I have tried to replace her before and just end up wondering why I have to pay someone to find out they can't or won't treat me. 
It just inspires me to be really good at what I do so that I can help some other hopeless case. Maybe I can use this to motivate myself to write the paper I have due this week.


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## hyperllama

Hi NY -

I am 30 - was diagnosed @ 29 - felt like a lunatic. I am not particularly emotional or stressed about much of anything. I am a counselor by profession so I tend to think I am a fairly reasonable person overall. I cried constantly and for seemingly no reason. I was frustrated, scared, pi$$ed, etc. etc. You're definitely not alone. Reading this forum makes me realize I'm not as crazy as I thought I was haha

hang in there!


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## Andros

hyperllama said:


> Hi NY -
> 
> I am 30 - was diagnosed @ 29 - felt like a lunatic. I am not particularly emotional or stressed about much of anything. I am a counselor by profession so I tend to think I am a fairly reasonable person overall. I cried constantly and for seemingly no reason. I was frustrated, scared, pi$$ed, etc. etc. You're definitely not alone. Reading this forum makes me realize I'm not as crazy as I thought I was haha
> 
> hang in there!


Hi there hperllama!! Oh, how I love the Llama!! So so precious!

Welcome to the board.


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## hyperllama

haha thanks, Andros!


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