# Touching base



## oceanmist (Apr 30, 2007)

Well let me tell you its been up and down...down and up. Hubby will have surgery after September because he didn't want to do it during the summer....God help me but I'm scared....

We had our passports done 5 years ago and got the pics done today. It sends chills down my spine when I look at the man I once knew and now he doesn't look the same. He looks sick...he looks really sick and I'm scared to death.

His doctor called me yesterday always calling when he's at work and gives me directions about his meds. REALLY! I snapped I told her we've been married for 33 years and I don't know him and I don't know how long I can take it. His moody...mean...*****y. I don't care about all the other things like we don't have a life and he sleeps all the time because he works so hard and is exhausted.....Well she is seeing him tomorrow but doesn't think its Graves causing his moodiness......REALLY? He calls himsellf Dr, Jehkle and Mr. Hyde himself. He says he doesn't know who he will be from week to week. Maybe because she keeps changing his pills and he is never regular......God.....

The worst part about the conversation is she says he's hypo on his blood work, but his face in the picture that I look at says hyper, loosing weight, and very sick.

Had to vent....Thanks.

I'm looking forward to writing in the surgery post soon.........................

Ocean


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## Andros (Aug 26, 2009)

oceanmist said:


> Well let me tell you its been up and down...down and up. Hubby will have surgery after September because he didn't want to do it during the summer....God help me but I'm scared....
> 
> We had our passports done 5 years ago and got the pics done today. It sends chills down my spine when I look at the man I once knew and now he doesn't look the same. He looks sick...he looks really sick and I'm scared to death.
> 
> ...


It is good to hear from you but it does not sound like things are going too well.

Your husband is an adult; you cannot be his mother nor should you be. It is a shame that he chooses to prolong this process for more than one reason. The circumstances most certainly have you extremely upset and tense.

Try to keep yourself busy, put yourself first and keep your cup filled up.

And as you already know, we have a great group here and we welcome you to come here and vent if need be and also to toss the ball around w/comments and ideas designed to help "you" cope.

This is taking a toll; I can tell.

Here is some info.

Graves', neuropsychiatric
http://www.ngdf.org/cms/modules/files/uploads/7699.PDF

http://www.psycheducation.org/thyroid/introduction.htm

What kind of support are you receiving? Would consider counseling so that you can learn coping skills and get the support you need at this time?

I went to counseling for "myself" for 2 years in the aftermath of Graves and boy, was it ever worth the effort. A skilled counselor can help no matter which side of the fence you are on.

Anyway, I do care and I thought I would just throw that out there. I seem to hear so much more than you verbalized.


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## oceanmist (Apr 30, 2007)

*Anyway, I do care and I thought I would just throw that out there. I seem to hear so much more than you verbalized.* :hugs: I thank you Andros for seeing the spouse side of frustration because we can't do anything and at the same time we take a lot .....which tests love...

Well we had a good day today went to see his specialist and she is amazing. The fact that I talked to her on the phone the other day and hubby and I both went in together helped so much. She showed him his blood work for the last year, none of it has been normal. She even gave him an amazing doctor letter for his work as he is struggling, they changed his position after 30 years to do harder work and he doesn't have the strength and is very weak. He has been bumped to do what the young guys do and he isn't young anymore or well

What can I say she was amazing, amazing, amazing! 
She told him she is going to shut down his thyroid and then medicate till his surgery to keep him stable, if his blood work doesn't normalize.
She's so understanding with her patients that suffer from this disease and thats what makes her an amazing doctor....other doctors don't care nor would they take the time she did with him. She said she missed the fact of the type of worker he is and explains why this is effecting him.... plus like any man he was in denial. She said to hubby...."Mr. Smith is just realizing that he is sick and never thought he would be. Mr. Smith thought he was unstoppable and that is very hard for males to come to terms with no matter what disease. They are the bread winners of the home, and weakness is not acceptable to them. She told him he has to get control and deal with this, because if he doesn't he'll wake up one day and realize he lost everything,......"You have 32 years of good dont' let one bad year with sickness change that"....she is so understanding! Hubby changed his pills a week ago and I can already see a change in him. He is hypo right now.

Then hubby after I had answered only when asked to said. My wife is sick and needs help to get in to see a surgeon (specialist). There's a long waiting list. WOULD YOU BELIEVE SHE TOLD ME WHAT TO SAY .... AND I HAVE AN APPOINTMENT IN 4 WEEKS! This is not her field and she could of told me to go you know where...which I thought she would do when hubby asked (which also showed me he cares dearly.)
She talked to me like she was in my boots and I was the doctor, my mouth dropped. The bottom line KEEP PUSHING! Keep calling, don't stop! I'm happy to report there are doctors out there that care... and we wish anyone that is suffering with this disease or any disease that you are blessed with an angel like the one that saved both of us today....

Oceanhugs3


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## Andros (Aug 26, 2009)

oceanmist said:


> *Anyway, I do care and I thought I would just throw that out there. I seem to hear so much more than you verbalized.* :hugs: I thank you Andros for seeing the spouse side of frustration because we can't do anything and at the same time we take a lot .....which tests love...
> 
> Well we had a good day today went to see his specialist and she is amazing. The fact that I talked to her on the phone the other day and hubby and I both went in together helped so much. She showed him his blood work for the last year, none of it has been normal. She even gave him an amazing doctor letter for his work as he is struggling, they changed his position after 30 years to do harder work and he doesn't have the strength and is very weak. He has been bumped to do what the young guys do and he isn't young anymore or well
> 
> ...


Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaw; I have been truly praying for you and your hubby and I do believe that prayers are being answered.

My heart is smiling and I am sooooooooooooooooo happy to hear that "both" of you are being properly tended to by a very very wise and apparently loving (empathetic) doctor. OMG!! What a gem she is!

What a wonderful story and thank you for sharing.

I have to agree that when a partner is down,it is shattering. Emotionally and physically.

It sounds like this doctor has helped to fill up your empty cups and I am so glad for this.

This is the biggest hug I could find......................


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