# You're not alone



## sarah_r (Sep 17, 2010)

Hello,

I just wanted to share my most recent blog post. I have been hyperthyroid and with medication am now hypo, hopefully soon I will be balanced. I find it's a sometimes frustrating experience being unwell like this- would love your thoughts too. 
http://theansweriswriting.blogspot.com/2011/01/its-not-over-til-its-over.html


----------



## Debbie from Milwaukee (Apr 18, 2010)

Sarah:

I read your blog, and I'm certain you will get replies from a number of people who have had similar experiences with thyroid disease. I only have very mild hypothyroidism, but my middle daughter has had a number of thyroid issues since 2007 at 17 (and probably much earlier, but we just didn't recognize it). If you want to look at the thread, "Suidcide attempt--thyroid involvement?" in the Graves disease section, you can read the story I have written about her difficult experiences. For her most recent problems (since April of 2010), it seems that taking Armour thyroid and birth control pills to stablize her emotional and physical well being have helped a lot. She still needs a lot of medical and psychological support, but I hope and pray she is back to living her life again. I certainly hope that you are able to get your life back on track, as well.


----------



## sarah_r (Sep 17, 2010)

Thank-you Debbie for sharing and taking a look at my blog. I recall many months ago you shared with me about your daughter and read her story. Horriffic indeed :-s


----------



## desrtbloom (May 23, 2010)

Hi Sarah:

God bless you hun! :hugs: I can totally relate to your writing. On February 10, 2010, my life was changed forever. This has been a hell of a road to travel and one that has challenged me at every turn. Each day is a new day with God only knowing what it will bring. The days I feel good, which have been few in the last year I literally cherish every single second. I do know though, that there is a reason for everything in life and for some reason I was "chosen" for this journey. Maybe it was to teach me patience. Maybe it was so that I could give to others through sympathy and empathy. Maybe it hasn't been shown to me yet and maybe never will be. I just know that since all this has happened to my life, it has affected every single aspect of it, and I'm still here and fighting. That is one thing with we thyroid folks, we are fighters!!! Keep up the fight and know you are not alone.

Patti


----------



## lavender (Jul 13, 2010)

Sarah, I can relate to so much of your post. I haven't worked since April myself, and I'm 33. I did manage to start graduate school in the fall, but had to drop back to part time. Most of the students are non-traditional students and hold jobs in addition to attending school full time. There are students twice my age. Meanwhile, I was struggling along trying to complete 2 courses. They would talk about their current jobs and I would talk about my former jobs. It's hard not to compare myself.

Plus, I hate this sedentary lifestyle. I have gradually gotten sicker over the past 5 years, but I can remember my 20s when I would spend my summers as a lifeguard, swimming, kayaking, hiking mountains. Now, I see people around me still doing these things, and some days the most I can do is my dishes. It's demoralizing at times.

One of the hardest things has been the loss of my memory. There is so much I don't remember from this past year. Simple basic things from even a few weeks ago are just lost. I sing, and I used to be the person in the group who could remember everything. I don't know if my memory will come back and what that will mean for my future.

I am determined to heal, to not let this disease take over the rest of my life. I believe I am on the road to healing and that I will not spend the rest of my life imprisoned by my body. The biggest positive about all this has been that I am now grateful for every single day. I know how precious life is, and even though it's not always what I want, the life I have is still a gift. I have also gotten the chance to see how many people care about me. The love and support I have received has been overwhelming.

This is not the end. It will get better.


----------



## Chase (Dec 10, 2010)

Call it denial (which is probably more accurate), but I am afraid sometimes to even verbalize the issues I have with Graves' with some people. First, it's professional suicide to describe them, as you well know. My boss knows I have Graves' for the sake of doctor appointments, and I leave it at that. You can't go into detail with it because the complications documented out there are, to say the least, frightening. That's just not material you want your boss reading in a regulated world.

Also, there's a part of me that feels as though if I admit the difficulties I have to other people (and we all know that grocery list of fun) that I will give it power over me. I am still functioning and able to work every day despite those overwhelming feelings of dread, anxiety, and the overall need to get the hell out of the building for no apparent reason. Some mornings require a ton of mental coaxing just to put that first foot on the floor.

I am okay admitting the difficulties here, because we're all shooting the breeze with familiarity of the symptoms. I just don't do that publicly or even with family. You're right, it starts to sound like whining even though it's not. I have visions of getting my life back at some point. It may not come back all the way or it may come back better - I don't know. I have weepy moments that get the better of me sometimes, but they do in the isolation of my home, where I live alone and no one has to endure it. No one in the family has to feel helpless because I am having a moment of not being able to know why I feel like crap and weepy and I can't figure out what the use is of even contemplating going to work or playing music or doing laundry or the bills - in general, living life. Fortunately, my logical brain is pretty solid and reminds me that Graves' is pushing the buttons and making me feel that way. I identify the cause again and again, because there's no pretending it doesn't exist.

So, I understand and applaud your bravery in telling people how it is. I don't have that option right now because I need to keep my job. I'm hanging by a thread, and I'm going to keep doing that with two hands until I just can't do it anymore or things level out. Hopefully, we'll all find resolution to this disease at some point and get our mojo back. We just need to keep doing the best we can!


----------



## poohbear61 (Oct 11, 2010)

Wow Chase, your post really hit home w/me. I am also powering thru every day as best I can, and when co-workers or bosses ask how I am doing, it's always "fine" (even when it isn't). Don't want to join the ranks of the unemployed. Family trying very hard to understand, but can't really get a grip on the fact that nothing they have done is making me weepy or distracted, and there's nothing they can do to jolly me out of it, other than just let it run it's course. And I didn't even realize that what you describe as "overall need to just get the hell out of the building" was a manifestation of symptoms. Crawling out of my skin a lot of the time; resting pulse today 102! By the way, I love your quote. Live strong!


----------



## Chase (Dec 10, 2010)

Fun feeling, isn't it, Pooh?  It could be great inspiration to write a horror movie, though. It certainly could set the tone - ESCAPE!

Up until my thryoid introduced itself to the rest of my body's normal functions, I had always been one to put myself 110% into the work at hand. I have always done project work, which requires a detail-oriented attention span. I think when that attention span dwindled enough to rival that of a gnat's was when things really started to be full swing. And the emotions / anxiety that go with it are all a part of Graves', or so I've read. (Do yourself a favor, though, and DON'T read the psychological indications of Graves'. You'll think you're headed for the funny farm.)

And as for that resting pulse, my doc took me off propranolol, and I'm back up to 96 - 100, myself. Time to make a call and get back on it, I think. It's not raging, but it can be uncomfortable, as I'm sure you know. Beats 143 by a mile, though!

I'm glad you and I share some of the same difficulties in the work world with this. If you have to have it, it's nice to know someone else can relate to it. Takes the "aloneness" out of it, y'know? hugs3


----------

