# The S word but we have to talk about it...



## oceanmist (Apr 30, 2007)

Hey everyone,

I posted that my husband was diagnosed with Graves a month ago. I don't notice any men posting...I might have just missed it but its important to know what their symptoms are. I have been on this forum for years and do you think I caught on that he had Graves. NOOOOOO

I noticed a few years ago but it became worse in the last 8 months. He was exhausted NOT TIRED. We would go to friends to visit and he would fall asleep at 8:00! HOW I WANTED TO DIE! He had been working 30 hours over time a week so I chalked it up to being over tired. 
Then when we went to bed he was snoring in 10 seconds of hitting the pillow. We weren't having the S word, he didn't seem interested. I will be honest with you I thought he was having an anfair but I was to tired myself and I thought well if he can find the time and energy all the power to him......lol. Seriouly I thought it was me. He couldn't well you know...and that really bothered me. We have never had a problem in that field. We both noticed he was clamy during nothing worse that ripping skin...lol. He complained it was to hot in the bedroom but it wasn't.

He scared me when he slept he sounded like he was running breathing heavy. Not realizing his heart was pounding in his chest. I'd wake him up cause he was freaking me out. 
He lost 30 lbs in 6 weeks down to 185 lbs. now weights 200. When he was outside working his legs were shaking terribly, he was so weak. He complained of foot pain and even went to a foot doctor for it. His job is always standing on cement and the doctor told him muscles weakness is a sign but for him it was in his legs from standing all day long. 
I knew something was wrong but never did I think thyroid. I thought diabetic or cancer.
So if there are any woman out there thinking there not beautiful anymore to their husband of 32 years first check out their thyroid!!!!
The good news the flag is at full mass again. All the symptoms I mentioned above are gone for now. The pills are working and he is so happy...I'm the one that is tired if you know what I mean!!!! I have to check my thyroid....

I hope I didn't insult anyone but if it helps anyone out there ...thats all I wanted to do.
Oh and I forgot the other symptom he wouldn't shut up. We would be out with friends and all of a sudden his chatty kathy. He has always been quiet and I'm well the out spoken just so you all know..... Seriously I was so mad we went out and no one could talk...and get this he thought he was funny...light bulb moment!
Hugs Ocean


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## Andros (Aug 26, 2009)

oceanmist said:


> Hey everyone,
> 
> I posted that my husband was diagnosed with Graves a month ago. I don't notice any men posting...I might have just missed it but its important to know what their symptoms are. I have been on this forum for years and do you think I caught on that he had Graves. NOOOOOO
> 
> ...


I think your post is very helpful and I surely don't see how anyone could be offended.

Having a healthy libido is an important part of our lives and when it is broken, we do need be supportive of our partners and work through the difficult times.


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## oceanmist (Apr 30, 2007)

The point I'm trying to make in my husbands case it was the first symptom which is important to know!
I joke a lot in my posts cause it gets me through it all. Without my husband who is my best friend and I'm his I just don't know what I would do. So look past the teasing. 
Out of all his symptoms the worst one was him talking over me...nothing worse than a man that can out talk a woman! I know you'll all agree with me on this one....

:tongue0015:


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## CA-Lynn (Apr 29, 2010)

I'd like to make a point, using something oceanmist said in her post: that she was afraid that her husband had diabetes or cancer.

There was nothing that she described that could be connected to either of these diseases.

The point I would like to make is that people need to learn not to think the worst when they see one symptom of abnormal behavior. It's just not logical and it serves no purpose to go into alarm mode. Rather than get to that stage, you do what you can to get the person in for a solid check up.

Thanks, oceanmist, for letting me use you as an example.


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## chopper (Mar 4, 2007)

A+ Totally agree. Folks, this is the Internet. You get some good info but you also get tons and tons of doom and gloom. Cancer is fairly rare and until the "C" word comes from the mouth of someone who really took the time to screen for it, don't add the stress to your life. It's not worth it. 

Always be diligent but not hyper vigilant.


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## oceanmist (Apr 30, 2007)

True......but Diabetes runs in his family. The loss of 30 lbs in a few weeks is something serious...usually. 
I've read this forum so I knew the signs but never thinking he could have a thyroid disease... why? Men don't talk about it at least not that I have read. I don't know one man that has thyroid, except my husband now. When I told the people about hubby they were as shocked as I was. He feels like a sissy and doesn't want to talk about it.
How many men do you know would go on here and say "Yeah my first symptom I couldn't get it up and I was clamy!" Thats what I thought....lol 
Well maybe we all learnt something from this don't jump to conclusions and men hide there symptoms very well don't rule out thyroid disease.

Sorry about the spelling errors...hence... at full mass should be ...at full mast

lol
Ocean


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## midgetmaid (Jul 22, 2010)

Weight loss and loss of libido can be signs of diabetes, and with a family history, it is understandable that you would suspect it. It's much more common in men than Grave's. Don't feel bad about not recognizing the disease. I know a woman whose husband is a doctor, and he didn't pick up on her thyroid disease, even though she was very sick.

A significant weight loss does sometimes point to something serious. I'm just glad he was diagnosed before he lost anymore. With Grave's, some of the weight lost is muscle.

Renee


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## Talia (Dec 12, 2010)

Hello! This is my first post, but I have been reading this board since my husband was diagnosed with Graves four years ago...

We believe he was hyper for 3+ years before our family doctor picked up on his enlarged thyroid and clammy warm hands during a CDL physical. During that 3 years he lost 70 lbs, and really did not look healthy. He is 6' tall and at one point he was 165...

But he is a Type A personality and stubborn and insisted he felt fine. He refused to have any bloodwork done at my insistance... I thought, too, he might be diabetic...

I was SO relieved when he came home from that doctor's visit... I knew there was something wrong but didn't know what do about it!

Fast-forward 4 1/2 years... in November 2009, after having less and less success with tapazole, he had RAI. He is now on Synthroid and Cytomel, and feels better and looks healthier than he has in years. Yes, he has gained ALL of the 70 lbs. back, and he's not happy that his gut has returned--but he has muscles again, and way more stamina.

Anyway, I said all that to say this: some personality types are not really tuned in to how they really feel... they are programmed to grit their teeth and just "deal with it". These people (like my hubby) might not realize how bad they actually felt until they start feeling better...

Hope this all makes sense... and it's good to hear about other men with Grave's--my husband and his parents don't know of anyone in their family with thyroid disease...


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## Andros (Aug 26, 2009)

Talia said:


> Hello! This is my first post, but I have been reading this board since my husband was diagnosed with Graves four years ago...
> 
> We believe he was hyper for 3+ years before our family doctor picked up on his enlarged thyroid and clammy warm hands during a CDL physical. During that 3 years he lost 70 lbs, and really did not look healthy. He is 6' tall and at one point he was 165...
> 
> ...


Welcome, Talia!!! Thank you for sharing your's and your hubby's story!

If there is genetic autoimmune disease in the family (familial), it does not always manefest as thyroid disease. It could be RA, Lupus, Sjogrens, MS, Scleroderma....................any number of things. Diabetes is a major one.

At this point, hubby might have insulin resistance hence the Buddha Belly as I like to call it. Get his glucose checked. If it is high in the range, he probably has IR. This can be corrected w/diet and cinnamon.


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## Talia (Dec 12, 2010)

Thanks, Andros.

He did have a whole bunch of blood work done in 2009, before the RAI. His glucose was good then (79), but he's put on about 30 lbs. since the RAI... should he be tested again?

Ugh, it is so hard for me to get him to do anything medical...unless the doctor orders it--then he will reluctantly obey...


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## Andros (Aug 26, 2009)

Talia said:


> Thanks, Andros.
> 
> He did have a whole bunch of blood work done in 2009, before the RAI. His glucose was good then (79), but he's put on about 30 lbs. since the RAI... should he be tested again?
> 
> Ugh, it is so hard for me to get him to do anything medical...unless the doctor orders it--then he will reluctantly obey...


Oh, yes........................definitely. Glucose should be checked at least once a year if not more.

Hey; appeal to his male vanity. Tell him what I told you and that if he wants to get rid of that big belly, he firstly needs a glucose test.

In the meantime, you "Google" Insulin resistance and learn as much as you can about it.

We women usually are very good care-givers by nature (and hormones) and that includes our beloved husbands. Sometimes we just have to play mommy!! LOL!


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