# Grave's has taught me that I am vain...



## Prairie Rose (Nov 17, 2011)

Yikes.

This Grave's business is for the birds.

I am a positive person in life. 
My motto is Cowgirl Up.

Yet I can admit that on this journey...which for me the diagnosis was last fall....I have learned that I am vain.

My two biggest vanities.....extreme hair loss and now...weight gain.
I feel silly whining...as so many others have gone through so much worse.

Healthwise, other than being plumb worn out a lot (I work mega hours a week days/nights/weekends in retail management) (I am a mom of teens, one of which is graduating this coming weekend), and I have a home to take care of. Yea baby, that can tire one out. 

My hair. I once had thick, pretty hair. My daddy was so proud of my long mane. I have horses, so when I was a child my Dad deemed my hair my mane. 
My hair is now prematurely graying...and falling out. Thin and stringy. Gah.

My weight. I once was thin and in good shape. Now I am....not.
Don't know whether to blame that on the steroids they had me on for a whiel or the methimazole to slow my thyroid. Off steroids for a while now, but the weight is not off. I do eat healthy! I do get lots of excercise and hit the ground running early til late. 
Gah.

My eyes. Swollen, out of alignment. Aweful. I once had pretty chocolate brown eyes. Now they are...well, you all know what happens to them.

Yes. Graves has shown me I am vain.

I keep smiling anyway and don't let on too much to anyone, but hope it was ok to just let this loose here.

Thanks for listening!


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## webster2 (May 19, 2011)

This is the perfect place to let it out. You have a great attitude, it comes through in your post. I don't know waht to say except it does get better in time.

I was a very thin athletic person with a great head of hair, and now I am not! My hair has improved over time. Hair loss has slowed way down since my levels are getting much better. It took a long time to feel better, my hair was so dry and lifeless. My hairdresser said she couldn't believe the difference. It feels better now. One really weird thing is, I used to have really curly hair, now it is straight. I expected to go gray but I haven't...yet!

And, fat. I am 6'1" and have always wieghed around 150...now I am round. I am working on being less round but it comes off slowly. Did you lose your muscle tone too?

Hang in there! It sounds like you have a full busy life. Hang in there, it does get better!


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## Lovlkn (Dec 20, 2009)

Prairie Rose said:


> Yikes.
> 
> This Grave's business is for the birds.
> 
> ...


{{hugs}}

What is your current treatment and lab's

If you are properly treated on blocking or replacement you should not be having such severe symptoms.

Properly is the key word.


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## Prairie Rose (Nov 17, 2011)

Thank you all.
MUCH appreciated. I knew you would understand.

Webster, yes, I have lost muscle tone. A lot of muscle tone. 

I am so glad to hear that your hair is growing back! Even if not curly, at least growing back. That you didn't gray is awesome!

Lov, I don't have my current labs....but will get a copy at my next endo appointment. I am thinking maybe my thyroid is too slow now?

Have to run get supper on the table.

Thanks again you you guys.


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## hyperinnyc (Apr 18, 2012)

Thanks for sharing Prairie Rose!

It is refreshing for someone to voice the same concerns I had as well. I was starting to feel like I was the only one concerned with how Graves has made me LOOK not just FEEL.

My hair thinned about 6 months into the disease. It was falling out in clumps for a couple of weeks. Thank God, it has stopped (this happend about 8 months ago. I'm about 1.5 years into this). As a woman, our hair is our crowning glory. I do hope that this hair loss will stop for you as well.

I lost about 20lbs off of my 130lb frame when the disease first struck and walked around looking like I was on my death bed. Now, the methimazole has me leaning towards hyper, I'm up to 135 which I do not like, but I can live with. I am now leaning towards surgery but I am deathly afraid of gaining more weight. I am vain too!

Now, let's talk about my EYES on Graves - the worst thing that could possibly happen. Ever. I used to have huge honey brown eyes. Now they are huge in the wrong way. I look shocked, suprised, CRAZY all the time. My eyebrows go directly into my eyes as my top lid is non existent - just a swollen buldge. I have TIRES around my eyes! No amount of concealer will work. From the side I look deformed. Doctors do not care, it is cosmetic. I care, I am single lol. Sometimes I don't go out because some days are worse than others (today being one of them). But I cannot not go to work so... my self esteem is shot. Not to mention how they HURT all the time! Eye drops, shmeye drops! If my crazy lady eyes do not go away, I will definitely be getting cosmetic orbital decompression surgery if I have to rob a bank to pay for it.

Venting is good for the soul


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## Andros (Aug 26, 2009)

hyperinnyc said:


> Thanks for sharing Prairie Rose!
> 
> It is refreshing for someone to voice the same concerns I had as well. I was starting to feel like I was the only one concerned with how Graves has made me LOOK not just FEEL.
> 
> ...


If you want to get on the healing pathway, having your thyroid out is something you should really consider. If you do that, expect about 18 months to full recovery.

And it would not be wise to do any surgery to the eyes until you stop the attack on the thyroid.


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## Endlessness (Oct 5, 2011)

I understand you so well... The eye thing was the worst for me growing up. Everyone made fun of me all the time, calling me a frog and such. I remember crying in my bed at night and pushing on them to "make them go back in" (not smart, I know, but I was 10 and naive!). It was awful.

I didn't have so much hair loss back then, but right now I do, and it's really scary for a woman to lose hair. But don't worry, things will settle down when we find the good dosage. Even my eye got much better after the RAI.

We can beat this


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## Andros (Aug 26, 2009)

Endlessness said:


> I understand you so well... The eye thing was the worst for me growing up. Everyone made fun of me all the time, calling me a frog and such. I remember crying in my bed at night and pushing on them to "make them go back in" (not smart, I know, but I was 10 and naive!). It was awful.
> 
> I didn't have so much hair loss back then, but right now I do, and it's really scary for a woman to lose hair. But don't worry, things will settle down when we find the good dosage. Even my eye got much better after the RAI.
> 
> We can beat this


Yes you can beat it. You sure can!!! Good for you w/ the good attitude!!! That happens to be at the very least 75% of the battle here.


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## Prairie Rose (Nov 17, 2011)

hyperinnyc,

YES. Same here.
Eye drops don't help much at all. Bah.
I have the 'tires' too. Ugh. 
Good news at my last optho visit recently though. He 'thinks' the TED is beginning to burn out. I have an appt. with a neuro-optho coming up in a couple of weeks, so will be interesting to see if he agrees. 
The neuro optho has already told me I will need to compression surgery down the road.

Yes also on hair being our crowning glory. Mine sure was. Sniffle. My hairdresser was very cautious on snipping recently, and I could see in her face how sorry she felt for me. Sigh. She has been doing my hair since I was 18, and I am 47, so she KNOWS my hair.

Few of my pants fit me any more. I haven't ridden much yet this year due to working so much, plus getting a son graduated from high school, but I fear my horses will buckle their knees and whinny 'nooo, noooooo!'. LOL. 

Thanks for listening to my vent, and by all means, vent away also!
The junk we have to go through, right?

Andros, your wisdom is appreciated. I know you've been down a long road with this Grave's mess, and it sure isn't for the faint of heart. Your ability to share that knowledge is amazing.

Endlessness,
Aw girl, the eye issues are difficult as an adult to deal with. How much worse as a child. 
I am so glad your eyes improved after RAI, and I hope your hair does also.

Yes, yes we CAN beat this. I love reading that!


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## Andros (Aug 26, 2009)

Prairie Rose said:


> hyperinnyc,
> 
> YES. Same here.
> Eye drops don't help much at all. Bah.
> ...


Thank you, Honey Bunny!! I wish for you all good things. It will happen and all this mess will be behind you!


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## Sandex10 (Feb 22, 2010)

I think I may be in the minority here, but for me, I was glad to have my hair thin out. I have always had very thick, frizzy, unruly hair, and always wondered what it would be like to have nice, straight, 'lifeless' hair. I can honestly say that, that was the ONLY positive thing about having Grave's. 
Of course, now that my hair has all grown back in, it is even more thicker and unrulier than ever!! :sad0049:


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## diva_alicia (Jun 18, 2012)

Prairie Rose said:


> Yikes.
> 
> This Grave's business is for the birds.
> 
> ...


I so relate to your post. I'm the rock in my family, workplace, etc. But this feels like it is breaking me. I pray today you are feeling well. Know that at least one person out there COMPLETELY understands and empathize.


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## Andros (Aug 26, 2009)

Prairie Rose said:


> Yikes.
> 
> This Grave's business is for the birds.
> 
> ...


Just posted to another lady about the very same thing. There should be another word we can use besides vanity because I am old school and believe we should all take pride in our grooming, our cleanliness, our weight, posture and every part of ourselves that the Good Lord has given us.

That said, "Do know that I know." I experienced it all w/eyes popped out, drug induced Cushing's Disease w/ the dowager's hump, chunky body, moon face, strange hairs every where etc..

Yes, I do know and I wish I could give you a real life hug.

All that changed though once I got rid of that thryoid and started the healing pathway. I wish the same for you!


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