# Coping



## redmoon (May 14, 2012)

So, what was your coping process when you found out you had cancer? How did you feel about it? How did your family process the news?

In the midst of the treatment threads I just find I"m missing out on some community that is in the throes of incorporating the news and what it means for us, for our bodies, families, future, etc. All I see is people saying, "It wasn't a big deal."

Is that really true for you? Tell me about how you coped with it, what worked for you and what didn't, what you needed, how it changed you.


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## crimebuff (May 25, 2012)

just got the diagnosis 2 weeks ago and I don't think its really penetrated, probably because I really don't believe it will threaten my life-nobody -family,friends, are making a big deal of it, so I guess I'm not either except for the hassle of the LID, radioactive pill, and worrying about it every year and having to look for thyrogen each year etc. Since I'm also having a problem, with my scar,its easier to worry about that than the cancer diagnosis.I actually think I could use a little sympathy but all you hear is that what you went through and will continue to go through is really nothing.


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## bluemoonguy (Apr 22, 2012)

To be perfectly honest with you, everything happened so quickly. But from what I remember, I was hesitant to tell some of my family members (elderly grandmother, younger cousins) because I didn't want to stress them out. Whenever anyone hears the 'C' word, the reaction never tends to be good for rather obvious reasons.

I think my mom took it the hardest. Probably harder than I did. I did my best to keep my composure whenever she would get upset and cry. That was difficult to go through. But, I approached the whole process with a positive frame of mind. I knew that this had to be taken care of. In fact, I couldn't wait for the surgery, mainly because I had a huge cyst bubbling up in my neck that made it hard for me to take deep breaths.

The only other hard part for me was in the surgery waiting room. I don't know about you, but I've never had surgery in my life. Even when I was waiting for them to wheel me in for surgery, I tried my best to keep my mind off of what I was about to go through (I didn't have family with me the day of surgery because they all had to work, etc.). So, doing that really helped me.

Immediately after surgery, I have to admit that I had mixed feelings. I tried to, again, look at my wonderful new wound in a positive manner...posting light-hearted pictures of my wound on Facebook for everyone to see with a couple of silly faces, etc. so I wouldn't freak people out. But there were definitely times when the gravity of the situation hit me.

I've been going on too long already. All I really have to say is this: make sure you have plenty of friends, family, and all of us here on the forums to support you. I think that will really help you get through all of this as painlessly as possible. And, to be honest with you, what you've heard is true. It's a rather simple procedure and the recovery time is quite quick. I think I was out playing softball within 2-3 weeks again, even though my neck was still pretty stiff.

Stay positive and, please, if you feel bummed out or have questions, you know where to find us all!


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## redmoon (May 14, 2012)

Super helpful to read these, I hope more will share. I'm blogging, that helps me process. I have a rather drawn out process in that I found out on 5/23 and I meet with the surgeon tomorrow, almost a month after the diagnosis. I wasn't planning to have my surgery until mid-July because i had clients due to give birth but now they all have so I can bump it up- and I'm scared to death. Not because I think I'll die, but... it's just scary.

I wouldn't say I'm freaking out about the cancer diagnosis but I am self analyzing, and I choose to feel things rather than set them aside, so I think it's helping me go through the stages of shock and anger and all that.

I just keep reading about how people look back and say, "It was no big deal." And I wonder, when you were on the other side, when it was all ahead of you, did you still feel like it was no big deal?


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## joplin1975 (Jul 21, 2011)

I let myself have a 15 minute crying fit in my office. And, I had pre-surgical anxiety, but beyond that, yes, I'll say it hasn't been that big of a deal. I think that's because one of my oldest friends was dealing with stage 3b ovarian cancer at about the same time...relative to what she went through, I had a cake walk, so there's was lots of perspective there.

Again, for me, this cancer thing has been a blessing. I didn't have to ride the Hashi's roller coaster. The gland is gone and so are all my awful symptoms (which I did not realize were thyroid related). I don't mean to sound cavalier about this, but the honest truth is that this cancer business has been one of the best things to happen to me.

Give yourself time. Your are in the midst of it now, but in a few weeks, it will begin to feel like a distant memory.


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## teri2280 (Feb 7, 2012)

I've honestly had too much stress going on here lately since my tt/diagnosis (diagnosed after tt) that I haven't honestly been able to swallow it yet. I had a pretty good cry the day after the surgeon told me she was 99.9% sure (with no FNA and "normal" labs) that it was cancer, but there's just been so much going on because of (and since) the diagnosis (endo that pretty much sucks, work not being even remotely understanding about going hypo for RAI, side effects that no one knows if it's from being so hypo or something else, even though i've been back on my meds for 2 weeks, the thought that I may have had it for a year or more already, bronchitis 2x after surgery, etc, etc, etc.) that it hasn't even really sunk in that "I have cancer".


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## susieintexas (Mar 4, 2012)

I get no sympathy either.

My mom has cancer, my sister in law has cancer, my uncle has had two different kids of cancer and my cousin died of breast cancer at 38, less than 2 years after she was diagnosed (she left behind a 3 yr old and a 1 yr old). I guess in general my family is kind of 'over' cancer and has more of a just deal with it kind of attitude.

My friends have ditched me. I am not sure if it is that they all have kids and are busy but many made promises of bringing a meal or coming to see me after they surgery and none of them, not one, did. The meals we had after my surgery were either things I made before hand or hubby picked up on his way home.

I love coming here because in general I get more advice & apathy because you have been where I am.

Cancer sucks. Cancer is scary. Reading on the internet is horrible but I cant stop doing it. I would love a 'hug' or a sincere 'I am so sorry' type of compassionate response. The 'well at least it is out and you are cured' is getting old. If I was 'cured' I wouldn't have to go for blood work all the time, if I was cured the prognoses of a second surgery wouldn't be on the table. Ugh!


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## interpret77 (Apr 10, 2012)

redmoon said:


> So, what was your coping process when you found out you had cancer? How did you feel about it? How did your family process the news?
> 
> In the midst of the treatment threads I just find I"m missing out on some community that is in the throes of incorporating the news and what it means for us, for our bodies, families, future, etc. All I see is people saying, "It wasn't a big deal."
> 
> Is that really true for you? Tell me about how you coped with it, what worked for you and what didn't, what you needed, how it changed you.


My road was not "it wasn't a big deal". My road and still is a big deal. Don't let anyone tell you that what you are going through is not a big deal, because it is. Yes, it is the most treatable cancer. Yes, it's not a long road of treatments. It is, however, something that you deal with the rest of your life. I just had my TT on May 3rd and I have my RAI on Monday. After my TT I felt pretty good minus that my left vocal cord was paralyzed from the surgery. Around 4 weeks post op, my body started aching everywhere. I didn't get tired until this week and now I'm exhausted. I have found that blogging is a great outlet for me and there is a site for people with illnesses called CaringBridge. I found that I got sick of repeating myself a million times over. This way people can just keep up with me and my road everyday and it has been an amazing outlet. Don't let anyone downplay your cancer...you are a survivor. Don't forget that. :hugs: It is my biggest frustration that people downplay thyroid cancer. It has been the biggest battle of my life and I pray that for you it is not. I hope it is easy and you get through it easily. Yes, it could be worse, we could have to go through chemo and bouts and bouts of radiation, but we still have our suffering. I wish you luck and if you ever need a friend, we are here for you.


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## interpret77 (Apr 10, 2012)

susieintexas said:


> I get no sympathy either.
> 
> My mom has cancer, my sister in law has cancer, my uncle has had two different kids of cancer and my cousin died of breast cancer at 38, less than 2 years after she was diagnosed (she left behind a 3 yr old and a 1 yr old). I guess in general my family is kind of 'over' cancer and has more of a just deal with it kind of attitude.
> 
> ...


I have to say AMEN to your post. I have found out who is real and who I give too much energy to that I shouldn't. There are so many empty promises from people...I thought "I have so much support!!!!!!" Then, when I need help and ask, there is no one. It's been horrible.


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## Sarah2628 (Apr 7, 2012)

I coped with it very good the first time. I think my family was more upset then I was. When I found out they called me and my co-workers hugged me and let me cry. The held me until I was done. I had my first post cancer app. and now I have three lymph nodes that look suspicios. Now i'm having a hard time coping with this. Im edgy yelling at my poor kids can't sleep. It's all I can think about.


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