# Anxiety



## havehope (Sep 26, 2010)

The nodules on my thyroid were discovered 3-1/2 years ago. I saw an endocrinologist then (in another state) who ordered a radioactive CT scan and told me afterward only that I should keep an eye on the nodules.

Last spring I saw another endocrinologist in the state I currently live in who all but rolled his eyes when I asked questions. He told me that I should have a biopsy but acted as if it was a waste of my time and their money. The pathology report from the ultrasound he ordered has very little detail.

Due to his attitude and a broken collarbone, I put off having the biopsy for four months. Lo and behold, I was diagnosed with papillary cancer 9/15 and am scheduled for a TT on December 1 with a surgeon I feel confident with.

My anxiety stems from the fact that I know these nodules have been there for at least 3-1/2 years. My surgeon told me that the radioactive CT scan I received 3-1/2 years ago is not even used as a diagnostic tool here, making me think I got substandard medical care. I am afraid this cancer has been here for a very long time as a result and am furious about it!

I am very grateful that the survival rate is so high and the surgeon actually used the word 'curable.' He told me the most important thing I could do pre-surgery is to think healing thoughts. I am doing my best to do that but I have some anxiety knowing the cancerous nodule has been there for a while. It measured 1 cm on one ultrasound and 1.7 cm on another so it's not horrifically huge.

Any words of wisdom on how to deal with the anxiety while I wait? Do papillary cancer nodules start out malignant or do they become malignant as they grow? I go about my life happily enough for days without thinking about it but other times it's frightening.


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## Andros (Aug 26, 2009)

havehope said:


> The nodules on my thyroid were discovered 3-1/2 years ago. I saw an endocrinologist then (in another state) who ordered a radioactive CT scan and told me afterward only that I should keep an eye on the nodules.
> 
> Last spring I saw another endocrinologist in the state I currently live in who all but rolled his eyes when I asked questions. He told me that I should have a biopsy but acted as if it was a waste of my time and their money. The pathology report from the ultrasound he ordered has very little detail.
> 
> ...


Oh, my gosh!!! What a horrible story about these other doctors and I must tell you, I always recommend RAIU for that very reason. The other methods have their limitations to be sure; both human and technology wise.

I am so sorry to hear this and I can certainly appreciate your anxiety. The one good thing is you already know it is cancer and the surgeon is going do do the very best he/she can do about getting it all out.

Then Radiation (probably) and also keeping your TSH suppressed afterwards.

The success rate is very very high. Very high.

I am keeping you in my thoughts and prayers and sending positive vibes your way.










If I am anxious, I walk a lot and I do mean a lot. Being outside, keeping on the move and thinking helps me tremendously. Keep busy. Very busy. Dec. 1 will be here before you know it.


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## nikimcn (Oct 16, 2010)

that is so frustrating!
we know our own bodies , yes, sometimes BETTER than the docs themselves :hugs:


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## CareBear3030 (Jun 9, 2010)

I am so sorry you had to deal with such idiotic doctors!! I get so mad when I hear stories like this! Yes, we have a curable cancer, but they need to quit discounting us and the problems we have. I hope you are able to find an endo you are as happy with as you are your surgeon.

I was also very anxious.... just that C word freaked me out! I also started this journey a Graves patient, so being hyper did not help me either. It certainly was very frightening for me too. The love and laughter of my family, my children, my husband helped me alot. It also helped me to keep a blog. It helped me to get the feelings out, as well as think that my craziness may possibly help someone else. But, I also certainly had better days when I stayed off the internet researching and did other things and to simply forget about my illness. Your nodule is not big, and will not grow much, if at all, by the time it is removed. Keep yourself busy, and your mind at ease because it is true, CURED is a word used mostly with this cancer. The next couple months will not be without tears, but will be just a memory soon enough... just after you hear that C word... CURED!!

I will keep you in my prayers. Please keep us all posted along your progress.


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## Hope57 (Sep 16, 2010)

Hi havehope,
I'm just one week post total thyroidectomy for papillary cancer which dr. thought by ultrasound and biopsy had spread to only one lymph gland 1.8cm and 1.7cm on thyroid pole attached to windpipe. It is very frustrating having to deal with specialist that dont seem to have any concern of what your going through and i do think sometimes you have to insist, or see another dr. who will do the test you need. When i had my op last week, they found 3 other lymph glands to be cancer, and took 4 other's plus a large piece of neck tissue to test. Because of the position of my thyroid node, it was almost ontop of the larex and they had to cut away so many nerves to get it out. There was a concern that i may not be able to talk again, but thanks to their expertese my voice is ok. It's a little husky, and if i talk for more than 10mins it gets tired. I find out final pathology results next tuesday, and im hoping that the other cancer they found is papillary, but even if its folicular its still a good cure rate. I found my lymph gland lump first, within 6weeks had ultrasound and biopsy and surgery, but my surgeon said i may have had the thyroid cancer node for over 1yr, its very slow in spreading and usual papillary spreads only to neck region. Try not to worry, im sure it will be a good outcome for us all. xx


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## Andros (Aug 26, 2009)

Hope57 said:


> Hi havehope,
> I'm just one week post total thyroidectomy for papillary cancer which dr. thought by ultrasound and biopsy had spread to only one lymph gland 1.8cm and 1.7cm on thyroid pole attached to windpipe. It is very frustrating having to deal with specialist that dont seem to have any concern of what your going through and i do think sometimes you have to insist, or see another dr. who will do the test you need. When i had my op last week, they found 3 other lymph glands to be cancer, and took 4 other's plus a large piece of neck tissue to test. Because of the position of my thyroid node, it was almost ontop of the larex and they had to cut away so many nerves to get it out. There was a concern that i may not be able to talk again, but thanks to their expertese my voice is ok. It's a little husky, and if i talk for more than 10mins it gets tired. I find out final pathology results next tuesday, and im hoping that the other cancer they found is papillary, but even if its folicular its still a good cure rate. I found my lymph gland lump first, within 6weeks had ultrasound and biopsy and surgery, but my surgeon said i may have had the thyroid cancer node for over 1yr, its very slow in spreading and usual papillary spreads only to neck region. Try not to worry, im sure it will be a good outcome for us all. xx


You sound great Hope!! How "are" you feeling? Please let us know when results come in and will you be doing RAI now? Has surgeon or endo commented???

Thank you for sharing your experience with our posters. I know it means the world to them and I must tell you, it sure means the world to me!


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## Lovlkn (Dec 20, 2009)

havehope,



> Any words of wisdom on how to deal with the anxiety while I wait?


Ask your doctor for some lorazapam to help you deal with the anxiety. I needed it as well before my TT 6 years ago as I was a wreck waiting for my surgery day and didn't even have cancer

Try to stay positive 90% of what we worry about never happens.


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## havehope (Sep 26, 2010)

Thanks to all of you for your encouraging words. I am still waiting for surgery on Dec. 1 and am doing okay. Most of the time I don't think about it, but will still be happy to have the surgery done and over with.

Hope57, so glad to hear you are post-op and recovering. Please let us know how you are doing and good luck on Tuesday.


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## Hope57 (Sep 16, 2010)

Hi everyone,
Results are back...... ALL PAPILLARY CANCER, in total 5 neck lymph glands, one thyroid node which was semi attached to the right thyroid pole and stuck to windpipe near larex. This was the one of concern as there were so many nerves to peel back to remove it. There was also spread to the last couple of nerves, they were taken and thankfuly, have not effected my voice. As there will be some micro cancer cells i will start RAI in 4 weeks. Specialist said i was very lucky, as spread through the nervous system would be more difficult. My right side of my neck is still sore, but movement is good. Will keep you posted.


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## Guest (Nov 14, 2010)

Glad to hear from you. I will continue to keep you in my thoughts and prayers that everything else will go good and that soon you will be on the road to recovery. I am so sorry to hear of all this but pray that they removed all that needed to be removed and it is gone or will be at the end of your treatment.

Stay strong and take care of yourself. Try to get plenty of rest to help with your recovery.

Sending big hugs and prayers to you!!

Kay


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## Christinals (Sep 9, 2010)

Hope,
You have been such a champ through this situation.
Hang in there. We will all continue to pray for you. :hugs:

Havehope,
It might do you some good to ask for something to get you through.
December will be here soon, but I'm sure it feels like an eternity.
I will be praying for you too. :hugs:

-Christina


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## Andros (Aug 26, 2009)

Hope57 said:


> Hi everyone,
> Results are back...... ALL PAPILLARY CANCER, in total 5 neck lymph glands, one thyroid node which was semi attached to the right thyroid pole and stuck to windpipe near larex. This was the one of concern as there were so many nerves to peel back to remove it. There was also spread to the last couple of nerves, they were taken and thankfuly, have not effected my voice. As there will be some micro cancer cells i will start RAI in 4 weeks. Specialist said i was very lucky, as spread through the nervous system would be more difficult. My right side of my neck is still sore, but movement is good. Will keep you posted.


Lord have mercy on us!!! Hope!!! Honey Bunny!! I am so so glad that you had the TT and double glad they got it all.

Oh, please keep us in the loop and do know that you are in my prayers and have been, of course!


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## usmc4myson (Sep 26, 2010)

Hope,
I know the feeling of anxiety you are having. Try not to think about the past. Start fresh each day. Start taking those negative, anxious thoughts captive, and kick them out every time they pop up. It is when we dwell on those thoughts that anxiety takes hold. I'd agree that a tiny dose of valium would help you, and take the edge off, especially during these weeks right before your surgery. I'd also agree that exercise is a wonderful way to release those feel good endorphins!! 
We are here for you, rooting for you, and keeping you in prayer.

~Have Hope~

Wow. I have been thinking of you and wondering how your surgery went, and it is so good to hear from you! You're an inspiration to a lot of us! 
I am so glad they were able to save your voice. Your doctors did a good job with a very tricky situation. 
Blessings as you recover...

~Amy


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## Hope57 (Sep 16, 2010)

Thanks everyone,
Im very lucky that my voice was saved and lucky that the nerve with the cancer was removed. Its now 3weeks post op and my neck and throat are is still very tight and swollen under my chin. I look like i have 4 chins now lol, but the specialist did say it can take up to 6mths for everything to settle down. Should be starting RAI early December, but have to go on low iodine diet first.....no doubt i will drop a couple of lbs there doesn't seem much you can eat, that tastes good anyway. Will keep you all updated.

havehope,
thinking of you and hope your anxiety is becoming less.


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