# Struggling



## Derekhg7 (Aug 15, 2012)

Hey guys, I'm new to the forum so I'm not really sure how this works. Anyways, Im a 20 year old male who was diagnosed with papillary thyroid cancer after a thyroidectomy of the right side of my thyroid came back positive and went back in for a total thyroidectomy. I dealt with it pretty well at first (maybe because it was such a long process and because I always tried to be a positive person) but now it's like I'm a new person. I just wanted to know has anyone else felt like a different person after all this? I had RAI, but was off any thyroid replacement and before my RAI i think they said my TSH was like 250 or something crazy like that. After RAI I started on 125 mcg of Synthroid for 5 weeks and I just went back in to the Endocrinologist last week and my TSH was 20.53 on a reference range of 0.45-4.50 mU/L, T4 was 2.0 on a reference range of 0.8-1.7 ng/dl, and T3 was 2.5 on a reference range of 2.0-4.8 pg/mL. She upped my dose to 150 mcg of Synthroid. For me, the physical symptoms came and went (I mean I'm still not back for at full energy or anything) but it seems like my mental symptoms are the worst thing. There are times where I will feel "normal" I guess, but the majority of the time I just feel like I'm always in a battle with my mind. I know that hypothyroidism can cause emotional problems and depression/anxiety but I feel like everywhere I read people don't really go into detail with it. They just say "oh I was depressed then it lifted after I got on my meds". I've just felt so apathetic about everything lately and don't get the same feelings about things I used to. Sometimes I feel like I have no emotion at all and have been feeling like a bad person. I feel like I just put on a fake face when I'm with friends or family. Evertyhing just seems so pointless to me now and I have no motivation. I've also been struggling with intrusive thoughts. I'm starting to feel like I'm never going to be normal again. I hate being pessimistic because it's never how I was before. This is like the complete opposite of the person I was before all this. I feel like I can't really articulate how I'm feeling (or not feeling). I just wanted to know if anyone went through anything like this because of the thyroid or should I go see a therapist? Sorry if this was too long, thanks for reading.


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## Octavia (Aug 1, 2011)

Derek, welcome.

Holy crap - a TSH of 250???!!! Crazy indeed!

That stinks that you had to deal with this at such a relatively young age. Really stinks.

Your labs are still pretty far off from normal, and my guess is that the closer you get to where you should be, the better you're going to feel mentally. (TSH of 20 is still very very high.) Are you feeling better at all since your increase? (It could take several more weeks.) Having said that, though, counseling may be very helpful--you've been dealing with a lot of stuff. I'm guessing that your family is very concerned, but doesn't know how to truly support you, and your friends want to help, but probably don't really know what to do or say???

Are there some counselors/therapists in your area that focus on dealing with health issues?

You WILL get through this and feel better...have faith in that! :hugs:


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## joplin1975 (Jul 21, 2011)

I think when you are "in it" it feels overwhelming and all-consuming...and then when things get sorted out, you are so thrilled to feel better that you hang on to those good feelings and somewhat forget about the bad stuff. So, I would say lots of people have been in your shoes, that it will get better, but that you shouldn't ignore or deny your mental state if you are struggling.

250?? Holy cats! Mine was at 121 and I was struggling. I tried my best to keep my head up, took it one day at a time, etc etc etc...but, yeah, there were days when everything felt very bleak. In fact, I don't think I really felt normal until my TSH was around 2ish. It took a long time.

A therapist might be a good idea...or perhaps anti-depressants on a short term basis...I don't know which route is the best...but I did want to echo Octavia and say, really, things will improve.


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## Andros (Aug 26, 2009)

Derekhg7 said:


> Hey guys, I'm new to the forum so I'm not really sure how this works. Anyways, Im a 20 year old male who was diagnosed with papillary thyroid cancer after a thyroidectomy of the right side of my thyroid came back positive and went back in for a total thyroidectomy. I dealt with it pretty well at first (maybe because it was such a long process and because I always tried to be a positive person) but now it's like I'm a new person. I just wanted to know has anyone else felt like a different person after all this? I had RAI, but was off any thyroid replacement and before my RAI i think they said my TSH was like 250 or something crazy like that. After RAI I started on 125 mcg of Synthroid for 5 weeks and I just went back in to the Endocrinologist last week and my TSH was 20.53 on a reference range of 0.45-4.50 mU/L, T4 was 2.0 on a reference range of 0.8-1.7 ng/dl, and T3 was 2.5 on a reference range of 2.0-4.8 pg/mL. She upped my dose to 150 mcg of Synthroid. For me, the physical symptoms came and went (I mean I'm still not back for at full energy or anything) but it seems like my mental symptoms are the worst thing. There are times where I will feel "normal" I guess, but the majority of the time I just feel like I'm always in a battle with my mind. I know that hypothyroidism can cause emotional problems and depression/anxiety but I feel like everywhere I read people don't really go into detail with it. They just say "oh I was depressed then it lifted after I got on my meds". I've just felt so apathetic about everything lately and don't get the same feelings about things I used to. Sometimes I feel like I have no emotion at all and have been feeling like a bad person. I feel like I just put on a fake face when I'm with friends or family. Evertyhing just seems so pointless to me now and I have no motivation. I've also been struggling with intrusive thoughts. I'm starting to feel like I'm never going to be normal again. I hate being pessimistic because it's never how I was before. This is like the complete opposite of the person I was before all this. I feel like I can't really articulate how I'm feeling (or not feeling). I just wanted to know if anyone went through anything like this because of the thyroid or should I go see a therapist? Sorry if this was too long, thanks for reading.












You have been through the wringer; do take that into account. It will take time for your body to process all chemicals out from RAI and maybe some othe meds and "usually" it takes a good 18 months of pampering and improved life-style to feel like you have recovered.

I strongly urge you to get the FREE T3 and FREE T4 lab tests done and here is why.........................

Dr. Mercola (FREES)
http://www.mercola.com/article/hypothyroid/diagnosis_comp.htm
FREE T3 explained by Woliner
http://thyroid.about.com/cs/testsforthyroid/a/freet3.htm

Most of us w/o a thyroid do not convert T4 to FT3 very well. FT3 is much needed by your brain and your body. It is the active hormone.


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## jenny v (May 6, 2012)

Wow, a tsh of 20 is still really, really high. Being that hypo, I'm not surprised you still have all of that emotional turmoil. I have Hashi's and when I'm hypo, I tend to be emotionally overwhelmed quite easily, have a quick temper and just generally want to hide out from the world. It can be hard to put on that "happy face" to deal with life, work, friends, etc., which can make you even more emotionally exhausted.

As your numbers fall back into a normal range, you should start feeling like your old self again, but it can take time. I would suggest just taking one day at a time, making sure you schedule enough alone time to give yourself a break, and consider professional mental help if it's just too much. Good luck!


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## Lovlkn (Dec 20, 2009)

Derek.

You will feel better when your thyroid hormones level out. In the mean time go talk with a therapist. I would disagree with going onto anti depressants as I feel that once your thyroid hormones are leveled out the feelings you are having will life.

Your body has been through alot - take it easy and give yourself time to adjust and heal.

Stick around and you will be sure to get a whole lot of advice on how to get your replacement meds properly calibrated.

Start asking for your lab results in a hard copy form, keep a log along with doses and symptoms you are having and it will be alot easier to dial in your replacement dose. I would suggest you also ask for the free T-4 and Free T-3 tests rather than the T-4 and T-3.

:hugs:


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## Derekhg7 (Aug 15, 2012)

Thanks for all the replies guys. And I forgot to mention that after I saw my Endo she prescribed me 150 mcg of Synthroid but the Pharmacy gave me 150 mcg Levothyroxine and I didn't notice at first and took that for about 4 days and just got my Synthroid about 3 days ago. And I'm sorry, I didn't know there was a difference between T3, T4, and free T3, and free T4, Could someone explain? On my lab results it does say T4 free non-dialysis 2.0 on reference range of 0.8-1.7 ng/dL and T3 free non dialysis 2.5 on reference range of 2.0-4.8 pg/mL.


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## Lovlkn (Dec 20, 2009)

Derekhg7 said:


> Thanks for all the replies guys. And I forgot to mention that after I saw my Endo she prescribed me 150 mcg of Synthroid but the Pharmacy gave me 150 mcg Levothyroxine and I didn't notice at first and took that for about 4 days and just got my Synthroid about 3 days ago. And I'm sorry, I didn't know there was a difference between T3, T4, and free T3, and free T4, Could someone explain? On my lab results it does say T4 free non-dialysis 2.0 on reference range of 0.8-1.7 ng/dL and T3 free non dialysis 2.5 on reference range of 2.0-4.8 pg/mL.


The free's are the active hormone in the blood and the best to be used for dosing.

One thing that pops out with your labs is the out of range FT-4 and low range FT-3.

Has anyone spoken with you about possible addition of Cytomel? Your conversion appears to be off. If your next lab is similar with a high FT-4 and a low FT-3 you may want to consider asking to lower your Synthroid and add Cytomel. If that happens - ease into the Cytomel by adding it slowly and several times a day. The Cytomel pills are easy to split.


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## Andros (Aug 26, 2009)

Derekhg7 said:


> Thanks for all the replies guys. And I forgot to mention that after I saw my Endo she prescribed me 150 mcg of Synthroid but the Pharmacy gave me 150 mcg Levothyroxine and I didn't notice at first and took that for about 4 days and just got my Synthroid about 3 days ago. And I'm sorry, I didn't know there was a difference between T3, T4, and free T3, and free T4, Could someone explain? On my lab results it does say T4 free non-dialysis 2.0 on reference range of 0.8-1.7 ng/dL and T3 free non dialysis 2.5 on reference range of 2.0-4.8 pg/mL.


Wow; FT3 is in the basement. No wonder you feel tanked.

I think you may be a candidate for T3 supplementation.

Dr. Mercola (FREES)
http://www.mercola.com/article/hypothyroid/diagnosis_comp.htm
FREE T3 explained by Woliner
http://thyroid.about.com/cs/testsforthyroid/a/freet3.htm


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