# I don't understand



## Sarah31905 (Sep 3, 2012)

I sit and I read this board and symptoms that many of you have, I must say I have almost every single one that you all have mentioned, but where some of you say you don't feel we'll enough to do things or you feel bed ridden, that I just don't understand. I am 33, an army wife and mother of four boys. No matter how bad I feel, I push myself to do the things I need to do for my family. And I will tell you... Lately my pain and numbness has been horrible. I don't post about all of my pain, or how I am feeling very often, because if I posted every little thing, I would sound like a hypochondriac. I might lay down during the day some days and take a nap, but most of the time I fight through the tiredness. I go to bed by 2200, wake up at 0450 to take my synthroid, go back to sleep and get back up between 0610-0800. Now granted I am on the count down to getting my beast removed, but I will still have a small battle for a while after surgery.

The best advice I can give each and everyone of you... Stay positive!!! For as bad as you think things are, there is a positive in every situation. When you wake up feeling really bad in the morning, thank God that at least you woke up. You are the ones that make the choice on how bad you are going to feel each day. Mind over matter... You can over come this disease. You choose to beat it and not let it beat you. I am so sorry that many of you are suffering, yes at times the pain seems unbearable and you feel like the disease is winning, go out and get some fresh air, take a walk around the block, admire nature outdoors... Don't stay cooped up in your house. Don't stop living... That is the key to beating any disease!!! Like CA-Lynn posted on another thread, go visit a pediatric cancer unit, spend some time with those little kids, you will see that even they still have a positive outlook on life. I have a nephew that battled leukemia... And he stayed positive through his whole battle... And today he is in remission!!! He did not let the disease beat him!!! Each of you need to stand up and take your life back, no one is going to do it for you!!!


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## Andros (Aug 26, 2009)

Sarah31905 said:


> I sit and I read this board and symptoms that many of you have, I must say I have almost every single one that you all have mentioned, but where some of you say you don't feel we'll enough to do things or you feel bed ridden, that I just don't understand. I am 33, an army wife and mother of four boys. No matter how bad I feel, I push myself to do the things I need to do for my family. And I will tell you... Lately my pain and numbness has been horrible. I don't post about all of my pain, or how I am feeling very often, because if I posted every little thing, I would sound like a hypochondriac. I might lay down during the day some days and take a nap, but most of the time I fight through the tiredness. I go to bed by 2200, wake up at 0450 to take my synthroid, go back to sleep and get back up between 0610-0800. Now granted I am on the count down to getting my beast removed, but I will still have a small battle for a while after surgery.
> 
> The best advice I can give each and everyone of you... Stay positive!!! For as bad as you think things are, there is a positive in every situation. When you wake up feeling really bad in the morning, thank God that at least you woke up. You are the ones that make the choice on how bad you are going to feel each day. Mind over matter... You can over come this disease. You choose to beat it and not let it beat you. I am so sorry that many of you are suffering, yes at times the pain seems unbearable and you feel like the disease is winning, go out and get some fresh air, take a walk around the block, admire nature outdoors... Don't stay cooped up in your house. Don't stop living... That is the key to beating any disease!!! Like CA-Lynn posted on another thread, go visit a pediatric cancer unit, spend some time with those little kids, you will see that even they still have a positive outlook on life. I have a nephew that battled leukemia... And he stayed positive through his whole battle... And today he is in remission!!! He did not let the disease beat him!!! Each of you need to stand up and take your life back, no one is going to do it for you!!!


You are going to feel a lot better once that thyroid is out. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers and thank you for the uplifting post. It will help others who read it.

You are the "bomb!"


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## CA-Lynn (Apr 29, 2010)

Excellent attitude, Sarah.

To everyone:

Yesterday I reconnected with a friend I hadn't seen in 20 years. I was sorry to hear that she was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis the year after we lost touch. But to hear her talk........no WAY was she going to let her beast take over her life. While she had to go on permanent disability, she has been running a resource center, 501c3, for homeless people in the city she now lives in. That's her passion, that's what keeps her going.

The message is: Ok, so you have a chronic disease that knocks your socks off, but get up off your a$$ and doi something you're passionate about. Redirect your thoughts. Believe me, it really helps.


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## Lovlkn (Dec 20, 2009)

Sarah,



> No matter how bad I feel, I push myself to do the things I need to do for my family. And I will tell you... Lately my pain and numbness has been horrible. I don't post about all of my pain, or how I am feeling very often, because if I posted every little thing, I would sound like a hypochondriac. I might lay down during the day some days and take a nap, but most of the time I fight through the tiredness.


Amen sister!

I felt like and was told I was a hypochondriac during the battle for a diagnosis. The pain I felt on anti thyroid meds was unbearable at times.

If I had given up I would have never been diagnosed. Life Post TT is so much better to deal with.


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## webster2 (May 19, 2011)

Sarah, you have a great attitude! I think that is half the battle. Best wishes to you!


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## Sarah31905 (Sep 3, 2012)

Thank you everyone. I just refuse to let this disease beat me. And I don't like reading the posts where it sounds like people are ready to give up, lay down, and let the disease take over them. We are the only ones that will fight for our own lives. Like I have said before, I am very fortunate that I have great doctors that will listen to me. At the same time I have had people that feel I shouldn't have the TT. The way I look at it, I would rather not have to fight to make myself do everyday activities. If having a TT will make it easier to get my levels under control, then I am all for it. But just to make it clear, Hashimoto's isn't the only reason I am having the TT. 
I have more going on. I have growing nodules in both lobes that make it painful to swallow and I choke on my food at times. My maternal grandmother had thyroid cancer and passed away in May 2010, because the cancer wasn't found in time. By the time the cancer was found, it had matasticised into anaplastic. My mom has Grave's disease and had RAI in 2007. I have watched her struggle ever since with trying to get her levels under control. She just got upped last week to 100 mcg from 75 mcg of synthroid. Mind you, I got started on 75 mcg right off the bat. 
Finally I have my mom convinced that she needs to seek an Endo and not go only through her GP. Her GP had her believing that once she had RAI done then she was cured of Grave's. I explained to her that Grave's is an autoimmune disease and that there isn't an actual cure for it. She didn't know that. It is really sad that a lot of doctors don't educate their patients. You have to be your own advocate, but at the same time, be careful. You can read up on diseases, but if you become too obsessed with symptoms and what not, you will have yourself convinced that you have the disease.
Just keep an open mind about everything and don't try to self diagnose. Let your doctor be the one to diagnose you. If you truly have an issue or disease, trust me, they will find it. When mine was found, I went to the doctor for something completely not related. My thyroid was so inflamed that my doctor could see it while I was talking to her. Blood work confirmed Hashimoto's and the ultrasound confirmed nodules. Talk about a shocker. I had no clue there was anything at all wrong with my thyroid.
The main thing I am trying to say... Just live life to the fullest. Don't dwell on being "sick". If you start to live like you are sick and you believe you are sick, then the disease has won... Don't give the Devil that satisfaction!!! Stand up and fight. Get out of bed everyday and choose to make the best of it. Don't move from bed to the couch and stay there believing you are sick, get out and do something. Get a hobby and be passionate about it. Stop researching every little symptom online. 
Sorry for the long post... I hope I can at least inspire one of you and that this will bring some light to some of your eyes.


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## bluesmom (Aug 11, 2012)

First, I want to say that I think it's wonderful that you have found a way to stay positive and that you are looking forward to the upcoming relief that your surgery will hopefully provide.
For a couple reasons, though, I want to suggest that staying positive may not be the best course for all of us all of the time. I volunteered and worked for hospice for years and learned from many of my patients that their perceived need to stay positive was felt as quite a burden to them at times. I provided a place to vent all of their feelings without judgement and this was very helpful to many of them.
Secondly, when my then 3-year-old son went through surgery years ago to remove a brain tumor, he was left paralyzed and mute for days. I stayed positive and thankful that he was alive even in the face of his anger and sadness but I thank goodness for my two very close friends who I could call behind closed doors and release some of my feelings of fear, anger and sadness. My son came through that experience very well but, if he hadn't, it wouldn't have been because of the anger he expressed quite frequently. In fact, the anger served as a big motivator for him to learn to walk again.
And finally, two weeks ago when my own pain was very acute, my husband graciously agreed to homeschool my son for two half days while I napped with a heating pad to get through the worst of it. I was so thankful to be able to share what I was going through with this forum. I was a bit scared, angry and sad - nowhere near how I felt during my son's ordeal or how my hospice patients felt, but my feelings nonetheless.
I write this because you said that you didn't understand how people could lay down and lose their positive attitude. I do understand how that can happen and I believe most of the folks on this forum understand that as well. And I think it's wonderful that this forum is there for folks no matter where their heads are at in this whole long complicated journey.
So, yes, as you say let's stay positive. But if one of us is having a hard time finding the positive, let's still be there for that person, to understand and offer hope and guidance.
Carolyn


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## proud-armywife (Jul 29, 2011)

Beautifully said. A safe place-it is what we all need. And validation during the tough times. Your perception is your reality and it is never fair to compare yourself to someone else. We are all different and handle situations differently it is what makes us do unique! And seriously I would not like to be around someone just like me all the time......I drive myself crazy! LOL

I too push myself but I must admit not having a doc I can trust and dealing with symptoms like dizziness that make walking at times difficult does wear on you. I guess it is hard for those of us who do take medicine follow the guidelines given and still suffer.in my mind I am treating my celiac disease by being gluten-barley-and oat free.I treat my hashimoto disease with synthroid. So why am I still so sick-it doesn't make sense ......I was in the service and I loved it! But that was easier for me than this. No answers. No deadline. Is this my quality of life? I have a hard time believing it. Finding someone with symptoms provide hope to an end. A fix to the "problem".

We are here because we are connected by a disease that has affected us all very differently
.And in my lonely moments I have found solice,and hope with the kind words of my thyroid friends. I would like to thank you all for the support you have offered I don't know what id do without you!


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## Sarah31905 (Sep 3, 2012)

I don't want anyone to feel bad about my posts. I am not trying to say one is right or one is wrong. I am simply offering up words of encouragement. Stay positive even during the hard times. I'm not say don't come here and not vent, thats what its here for. We can all relate in one way or the other. I just don't want to see this disease beat any of us. We all have to fight.


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## jenny v (May 6, 2012)

Thyroid problems are a marathon and not a sprint, which can sometimes be hard in this instant fix society.

Most days I can push through the symptoms and go on with life but there are days where I just want to lay in bed and wallow a bit, and that's okay, as long as that doesn't become the norm. You have to take care of yourself the best way you know how and try not to let yourself become fixated on the disease.


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## Sarah31905 (Sep 3, 2012)

I agree Jenny!!!


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## CA-Lynn (Apr 29, 2010)

Totally agree.


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