# Graves Disease and Calling it Quits



## LivingProof30 (Apr 7, 2017)

Hey everyone, my partner and I have been together for many years. He has Graves Disease and lately he has been too distant and mean for me, its truly breaking my heart. Lack of sex, intimacy , attachment and abandonment issues. Its as if the las 4 years that we will celebrating was a complete waste it has been completely wiped out by the last three months. They are so distant, and disengaged, and unaffected...one sided.. We were best friends as well as lovers. They don't see anything wrong with this picture. I don't know how to reach them but I cannot keep enduring this. Though engaged this would leave me really lonely in a marriage. Before they were full of life complimentary, its so bad I may be calling it quits like within the next couple of days. I stay quiet, when they cry console them be there for them , love them and they can't even tell me I look nice, or show any kind of emotion other than thats nice.


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## Lovlkn (Dec 20, 2009)

Sorry to hear that. It is unfortunately a life long disease. The outcome is what you make it, meaning if one does not feel well then one must be proactive in their treatment and find a doctor willing to work with them.

If your partner is not the way they used to be, it is the disease. Providing lab results would help explain where your partner is - Lab results can change often during treatment.

If your partner is as detached as you describe they may be in a hypothyroid condition.

In the beginning of my disease it was very rough on my relationship with my husband of 8 years - Last fall we celebrated 30 years of marriage -


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## LivingProof30 (Apr 7, 2017)

Thank you, this is not your fault so i appreciate those kind words. Congrats to you and your husband, 30 years is excellent you got through your darkest hour and grew closer. It is an excellent goal and i know we will get better. How long was the dark period?Even if we don't i just want them to know that I never gave up on them. We were friends and lovers. We are in a really rough spot but I will continue to support them I'm not sure in what capacity. But i do love them and I will always be in their life but they seem to not want the responsibility of a relationship anymore.Im not sure they care. When they get mad at loved ones they tend to just carry as if detached. They did this to their own mother and father who they stopped speaking to for like 5 years. Its alot to process. And even harder to accept. They won't touch me, they got mad about 5 days ago , i called them at work we got into an argument and they told me they are going to their brothers and wouldnt be home. Brother called me and told me that something was wrong with B. I told them when i called me he flat out told me he doesn't want t talk and hung up.I haven't heard from him but this seems abusive. He seems to be spiraling petty badly over the last couple of days but he isn't talking to me or really anyone. The last time i saw him like this he was suicidal seriously. He can't remember anything can't figure out the right words to say. He said the cruelest nastiest things to me the other day, I just cried. He told me to that he wasn't in love with me , and when he said he was he was he was telling me what i wanted to hear. This was so not him. He literally just woke up angry looking for a fight a couple of weeks ago and hasn't been the same. Hist tests came back normal but they are not well, its as if they have a personality behavior too. Im not sure if this is healthy for me. I don't know if this is the condition or who they are. Everyone is weary and worried for them. i know they are sick and wouldn't act like this. Im not sure what their results are but I know they told me they came back as normal, despite him not feeling normal. Im not sure how much of this is his control but if someone says for me to leave them alone than what choice do i have, I just hope they know they I love them and truly am there for them but they can't treat me nastily.


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## Lovlkn (Dec 20, 2009)

You need to do what's right for YOU.

If you are with someone who is not being properly regulated during their stabilization process with diagnosed thyroid disease it can be very difficult. If they are not willing to seek the proper treatment - it's even harder.

Think of YOU first - if your partner cannot pull their self together, move on with your life.


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## LivingProof30 (Apr 7, 2017)

I agree completely, Im getting better every day. Im really trying to move on with my life. Its just i do love them so we are connected and I would feel horrible if anything happened to them. When someone has Graves do they fully understand how they hurt us. Im thinking just alert their doctor whom i know and back away. They don't talk to anyone accept their doctor about what the disease does to them. Its like the people in their lived minus family are placeholders.


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