# Depression, high TSH and only getting higher



## klc605

Hi everyone, I am new. I joined specifically to write this post. I had a TT on feb 3, 2011. I had 9 cancerous nodules. I had 2 i-131 treatments. My tsh was in the 80s when I was put on my Levothyroxin. I moved here to continue a normal life with my family. Went to my first check-up, my TSH is in the 30s. He put me at a higher dose, 175. 6 weeks later, I give more blood and they contact me to make an appointment ASAP. My levels are now off the charts. He said the chart only goes to 150, and it read it as 150+. I am depressed. I am hormonal, angry, depressed, sad, deflated, unmotivated. My marriage is suffering because of this. There are days I am physically unable to get out of bed. This is bad because I have a 2 year old. There are days where I am so incredibly angry it makes my body ache. I say things I don't mean, I scream and yell. Nobody wants to be my friend because they all know I am a hormonal witch. I should mention I am nowhere near my family, my husband is military. I have no support, no friends. I seriously wonder if anyone cares anymore, or if I'm just this big hassle. Like everyone is thinking "wow, shouldn't she be healthy already" like I'm faking it. I am only 26 years old and I should not be feeling like this. My skin is peeling off my hair is falling out. I am a bag of bones. I am so miserable. I need help. I need love and support. I need someone to hug me and say I'm worth it but nobody will, they're all too mad or frustrated at me. I don't want to be like this anymore, I don't know what to do. If anyone has been in this situation, I could use some advice. Thank you.
I should add my dose is now at 200. Even the doc is saying this is such a high dose but nothing is working.


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## joplin1975

I don't know a ton about this & will have to wait for our knowledgeable folks to chime in, but might you have your latest labs with the ranges available? I think that would be most helpful.

I'm so sorry you feel so bad.


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## klc605

I don't have it on paper, it was done in the doc office and I was just called in and they told me while I sat there. The level was shown as 150+ and I am now on 200 mcg, Levothyroxin. I don't know why it would go from 30s to 150+ but it did. I was told the synthetic thyroid hormone might not be working, I may have to go to organic(?). I am also on birth control that is probably not helping the hormone situation. I am very unhappy with my doctor. I feel like he doesn't care either.


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## joplin1975

My last TSH was 121.88, so I can relate. You do feel like you are losing your mind.

I'm going to strongly suggest that you call your doctor's office and request copies of your labs. It is your right to see them & obtain copies. It does sound entirely possible that you aren't converting T4 to T3 & therefore wouldn't do well on levo only, but that's just a complete guess until our lab-savy posters can see your results w/ the ranges.

Again, I hate to hear you feel so bad...I can totally relate. Do you think it might be time to find a new doctor who is more concerned about your quality of life? Hang in there!


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## Octavia

Welcome to the forum, and I am sorry you feel so horrible. Your body is clearly not "accepting" the Levo. Your doctor could keep increasing it til #@%% freezes over, and I suspect your results are not going to get any better. Based on your doctor's approach so far, it sounds like he/she may not be much of an expert on non-Synthroid treatments. If that is the case, I would suggest finding a doctor as soon as possible who will work with you on different approaches/treatments/medicines.

There are others on this board who are far more knowledgeable than me about non-Synthroid approaches, and I'm sure they'll be along to offer some ideas. (The generic Synthroid I take seems to work fine for me, so I've never had a need to explore other options.)

Please keep us posted, and ask anything you like...there are many knowledgeable people here who can help!


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## Octavia

Oh...one more thing...you're probably way past this, but just in case - you are taking your Levo on an empty stomach (like first thing in the morning), and not eating for an hour (ish) afterwards?

Just checking...


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## klc605

joplin1975 said:


> My last TSH was 121.88, so I can relate. You do feel like you are losing your mind.
> 
> I'm going to strongly suggest that you call your doctor's office and request copies of your labs. It is your right to see them & obtain copies. It does sound entirely possible that you aren't converting T4 to T3 & therefore wouldn't do well on levo only, but that's just a complete guess until our lab-savy posters can see your results w/ the ranges.
> 
> Again, I hate to hear you feel so bad...I can totally relate. Do you think it might be time to find a new doctor who is more concerned about your quality of life? Hang in there!


My next lab appt with him is Dec 12th and at that point I am getting copies of my records and switching doctors. This is a small enough city but he still asks my name every time, and I have had to even remind him why I'm there. It hurts my feelings sometimes to be compared to someone who has been in for the flu a few times. My family doctor cried with me when she told me last year, and this guy acts like he's never seen me before every time I'm there.
I'm glad you can relate what I'm saying, I try to explain to my husband I cannot control myself. Honestly it's the worst feeling I have ever had. 
I'm sorry your TSH is so high too. Let's keep in touch and make it a journey together, I would like someone that can be beside me while I heal (even figuratively)


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## klc605

Octavia said:


> Welcome to the forum, and I am sorry you feel so horrible. Your body is clearly not "accepting" the Levo. Your doctor could keep increasing it til #@%% freezes over, and I suspect your results are not going to get any better. Based on your doctor's approach so far, it sounds like he/she may not be much of an expert on non-Synthroid treatments. If that is the case, I would suggest finding a doctor as soon as possible who will work with you on different approaches/treatments/medicines.
> 
> There are others on this board who are far more knowledgeable than me about non-Synthroid approaches, and I'm sure they'll be along to offer some ideas. (The generic Synthroid I take seems to work fine for me, so I've never had a need to explore other options.)
> 
> Please keep us posted, and ask anything you like...there are many knowledgeable people here who can help!


I am currently twiddling my thumbs while Tricare "works on" getting me into another endocrinologist. Is there any idea on why my levels have increased so drastically? Is it just because the levo is not absorbing and this is the result of 10 months later?

And to your second post...yes and yes, all directions being followed. Taken with a full glass of water on the rocks.


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## katbid23

KLC, I'm sorry you feel so bad and it does make it worse when your family and friends don't seem to understand. I am sending you a hug and well wishes. Hang in there. It will get better. I had my TT Dec 31st and they put me on the generic form of synthroid. It did not work for me. Once I went on name brand, I felt a lot better. Does your husband go with you to any of your appointments? if not, it might be a good ideal for him to go and learn more about your conditions and maybe that will help him be more supportive and understanding. I am military also and I know the struggles you have with trying to get good medical care. Keep in mind that you are still fairly new to this journey so don't beat yourself up. May I ask where you are stationed? I am at Ft Knox.


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## Octavia

klc605 said:


> I am currently twiddling my thumbs while Tricare "works on" getting me into another endocrinologist. Is there any idea on why my levels have increased so drastically? Is it just because the levo is not absorbing and this is the result of 10 months later?


Yes...your body is not absorbing/using the Levo, so it's almost as if you're not being treated at all for any hormone shortage...so you have almost zero thyroid hormone doing anything for you. Your TSH keeps getting higher and higher because your body NEEDS this hormone, and the TSH is your pituitary gland's way of telling your non-existent thyroid gland "hey, kick it up a notch, would ya?" Since your thyroid isn't responding (because it's not there), the hypothalamus and pituitary glands work together (via TSH) to continue to tell your thyroid to do something. Your TSH is getting higher and higher because nothing is happening at the "lower" levels.

Here's how I think of it...when your TSH is say, between 5 and 10, your pituitary gland is trying to have a nice, calm discussion with your thyroid, asking for more hormone. At a TSH of 80, there's a good bit of arguing going on between the two glands. At a TSH of 150+, there's an all-out brawl happening in your body! Your pituitary gland is very angry that there's no thyroid hormone, and that super-high TSH is indicative of this "anger."

http://www.webmd.com/a-to-z-guides/thyroid-stimulating-hormone-tsh


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## klc605

katbid23 said:


> KLC, I'm sorry you feel so bad and it does make it worse when your family and friends don't seem to understand. I am sending you a hug and well wishes. Hang in there. It will get better. I had my TT Dec 31st and they put me on the generic form of synthroid. It did not work for me. Once I went on name brand, I felt a lot better. Does your husband go with you to any of your appointments? if not, it might be a good ideal for him to go and learn more about your conditions and maybe that will help him be more supportive and understanding. I am military also and I know the struggles you have with trying to get good medical care. Keep in mind that you are still fairly new to this journey so don't beat yourself up. May I ask where you are stationed? I am at Ft Knox.


We are at Ft Bragg. At this point it is not possible for him to go to appts with me, he is going through SWC and cannot miss more than X amount of hours or he will not be able to graduate as special forces. In a few months he's going to training for 3-4 months at least, I was hoping this wouldnt be still going on by now so we could enjoy our time together but it's the opposite and everything is starting to fall apart.


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## Andros

klc605 said:


> Hi everyone, I am new. I joined specifically to write this post. I had a TT on feb 3, 2011. I had 9 cancerous nodules. I had 2 i-131 treatments. My tsh was in the 80s when I was put on my Levothyroxin. I moved here to continue a normal life with my family. Went to my first check-up, my TSH is in the 30s. He put me at a higher dose, 175. 6 weeks later, I give more blood and they contact me to make an appointment ASAP. My levels are now off the charts. He said the chart only goes to 150, and it read it as 150+. I am depressed. I am hormonal, angry, depressed, sad, deflated, unmotivated. My marriage is suffering because of this. There are days I am physically unable to get out of bed. This is bad because I have a 2 year old. There are days where I am so incredibly angry it makes my body ache. I say things I don't mean, I scream and yell. Nobody wants to be my friend because they all know I am a hormonal witch. I should mention I am nowhere near my family, my husband is military. I have no support, no friends. I seriously wonder if anyone cares anymore, or if I'm just this big hassle. Like everyone is thinking "wow, shouldn't she be healthy already" like I'm faking it. I am only 26 years old and I should not be feeling like this. My skin is peeling off my hair is falling out. I am a bag of bones. I am so miserable. I need help. I need love and support. I need someone to hug me and say I'm worth it but nobody will, they're all too mad or frustrated at me. I don't want to be like this anymore, I don't know what to do. If anyone has been in this situation, I could use some advice. Thank you.
> I should add my dose is now at 200. Even the doc is saying this is such a high dose but nothing is working.


Well; here is a big hug







and a big welcome to the board.

Has your doctor run the FT4 and FT3 lab tests?

Free T3 and Free T4 are the only accurate measurement of the actual active thyroid hormone levels in the body. This is the hormone that is actually free and exerting effect on the cells. These are the thyroid hormones that count.

http://www.drlam.com/articles/hypothyroidism.asp?page=3

It does not sound like you are converting. Either that or you have a malasorption problem.

We have to get to the bottom of this quickly as you could go into myxedema.

. Because T3 is more biologically active than T4, and because the conversion of 26,27 T4 to T3 is suppressed in myxedema coma, some have advocated T3 replacement.

I recommend that you read this whole article.

http://www.aafp.org/afp/2000/1201/p2485.html

And you may wish to find a doctor who is going to do something about this instead of keeping on raising your Synthroid and NOT wondering why it is not working.

It is my humble opinion that you may benefit from T3. But not before you get the FREE T3 and FREE T4 tests.

This may also be of interest.

hypo, psychiatric
http://www.biopsychiatry.com/hypothyroidism.htm

You are truly quite ill and to make matters worse because you had cancer of the thyroid, your TSH absolutely needs to be suppressed. I do question your medical care at this point.

Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers for resolution.


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## Octavia

Andros said:


> the thyroid, your TSH absolutely needs to be suppressed. I do question your medical care at this point.


That is an excellent point...I didn't even think of the whole TSH suppression issue. It is very important!


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## klc605

Just a little update. I talked to my husband today, after my big episode last night. He asked me how I was feeling today and I told him everything. He started saying how he knows I need to find a new doctor, I have never come back from the doctor with anything positive. We are moving into a house on post tomorrow, I've been anticipating for a month now. I will call tricare tomorrow night and ask how I can get my PCM changed so that I can have an appt around december 12th with someone new, which is when I was going to go back to my present doctor to test TSH again, since it is 6 weeks from my last blood draw. My husband wants to help me the best he can but he has so much on his own plate, I just want this nightmare to be over. Hopefully since we will live on post, we will be able to get a fast appointment at the Bragg hospital. Usually living on post gives a better chance of getting faster appts, especially since most families living off post choose to go civilian doctor(which is what I did). I will be asking for more testing, I think my TSH is not the only thing they should be running. And I don't want my levels to get so dangerously high. I don't like what I'm reading about it. Thank you everyone for your help, I will keep updating.


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## sonnyjane

Hi Klc!

I just wanted to say I relate to you quite a bit. I'm 28 and my husband is also in the military. We are stationed in San Diego. I had my entire thyroid removed last week due to a positive papillary cancer diagnosis and my husband left this week for Afghanistan until April. My family lives on the east coast so at this point I'm doing this on my own.

I hope you have better luck with finding a new doctor. Here in SD because they are over-crowded, I'm able to see civilians even though I'm on Prime. I've been here three years and had four PCM's!!! It's hard to find people I like but at least it has been really easy to switch so far.

Hang in there


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## klc605

sonnyjane said:


> Hi Klc!
> 
> I just wanted to say I relate to you quite a bit. I'm 28 and my husband is also in the military. We are stationed in San Diego. I had my entire thyroid removed last week due to a positive papillary cancer diagnosis and my husband left this week for Afghanistan until April. My family lives on the east coast so at this point I'm doing this on my own.
> 
> I hope you have better luck with finding a new doctor. Here in SD because they are over-crowded, I'm able to see civilians even though I'm on Prime. I've been here three years and had four PCM's!!! It's hard to find people I like but at least it has been really easy to switch so far.
> 
> Hang in there


thank you. it's not getting mch better for me but I wish you the best of luck.


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