# Intro 21/m/CA Graves Disease



## thechadmanhl2 (Nov 9, 2009)

I joined up on this site a few nights ago and figured i would give my story. I am a 21 year old male living in northern california. I was diagnosed with graves disease at age 15, after family members were worried of my bizzare behavior, my severe lack of weight and muscle and my late nights, and long mornings. To this day i remember the answering machine message my doctor left me informing me that i had severe hyperthyroidism, and also graves disease. Pretty rough thing to deal with in adolecent years when you are trying to fit in and be normal. So i took methimazole but since i was so absent minded due to my GD i often forgot to take my medication, or was in denial of my condition.

Before my graves disease i was a great student. good grades, the guy most people went to in class when they wanted help with something. I strove to be the be the best i could and enjoyed excelling at sports and academics. Grade school was a breeze for me, never had problems with homework or tests. as i entered high school i started noticing things were not right, but didnt want to admit it. My memory was the worst part. I used to read in grade school for fun but as i got older it seemed to get harder.

I know high school is harder academically, but the fact that i couldnt concentrate like i used to and was so tired and depressed all the time made it really hard to deal with.

So after the diagnosis I started on a methimazole perscription. it didnt really help me. my levels were always too high and i rarely took the medication. So at age 18, my family and i decided to get the radioactive iodine treatment.

i am really on the fence about this treatment. Sure, I was in the worst health of my life, i had a racing heartbeat constantly(my heart used to beat so hard i could see my chest moving through my shirt and i would get random nose bleeds). I could eat all day but not gain weight. shaking hands and worsening eye problems were why we rushed into getting the RAI treatment. But after the nurse came out in her mini hazmat suit and handed me this pill and said swallow and that i had to exile myself from friends and family for up to a week, there obviously were some dangers to this RADIOACTIVE pill.

Well after the treatment i noticed a difference. i could get closer to a normal weight, still lower than average, but my thin body and high metabolisim is my curse and blessing at the same time haha. But with my thyroid eliminated, the replacement pills are my burden for the rest of my life. I also dont have a clue what side effects my children in the future may see. im almost afraid to have kids.

Since the treatment i still battle my disease on a daily basis I went from 5'7" 112lbs at age 15, to 6'1" 165lbs at age 21. I have to stare into the eyes that i hate to see every morning. My ocean blue eyes used to be one of the highest complimented things about me, and now i cant stand to see pictures or even look into the mirror for long periods of time. im almost known for always wearing sunglasses.

My constant brain fog, memory loss, mood swings, and overall inconsistancy of myself makes relationships nearly impossible. The poor girls that actually fall for me have to suffer almost just as much trying to understand whats wrong with me, and i usually never tell people about my condition to spare the sympathy or pity. I find myself getting involved with the heartless objectifying type of women that tend to take advantage of me.

My graves disease makes work a challenge every day. After watching my class walk across the stage at graduation without me, i went to summer school to get my diploma, then i enrolled into our local community college. Now being expelled from the college due to my low overall GPA, i feel like i am destined to work a minimum wage job the rest of my pathetic life. Being in my early 20's during an economic nightmare doesnt help my morale. I struggle with the fact that the military seems like my only way out of my small town and rural county.

Every day seems to be a struggle and it seems like this is all pointless. If it werent for my loving family and friends, i have no idea where i would be today. Despite their disappointment and lack of pride for me, they still seem to catch me when i fall into my depressed state.

I have given up drinking and never got into smoking cigarettes, and despite the numerous benefits i felt while using it, i also gave up smoking marijuana. My sober lifestyle is something i am proud of. One of the few things actually.

I joined this site to hopefully find understanding and exchange information. No matter how many books or articles on graves disease my family reads, they will never no how it feels, to wake up every day not knowing if you want to conquer the world, or just give up completely. I feel that people with the same condition can really help me, and i love helping others too. so dont be afraid to ask questions.

trying to stay afloat in a sinking economy, with the graves disease tidal wave in the distance,

-Chad


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## Andros (Aug 26, 2009)

thechadmanhl2 said:


> I joined up on this site a few nights ago and figured i would give my story. I am a 21 year old male living in northern california. I was diagnosed with graves disease at age 15, after family members were worried of my bizzare behavior, my severe lack of weight and muscle and my late nights, and long mornings. To this day i remember the answering machine message my doctor left me informing me that i had severe hyperthyroidism, and also graves disease. Pretty rough thing to deal with in adolecent years when you are trying to fit in and be normal. So i took methimazole but since i was so absent minded due to my GD i often forgot to take my medication, or was in denial of my condition.
> 
> Before my graves disease i was a great student. good grades, the guy most people went to in class when they wanted help with something. I strove to be the be the best i could and enjoyed excelling at sports and academics. Grade school was a breeze for me, never had problems with homework or tests. as i entered high school i started noticing things were not right, but didnt want to admit it. My memory was the worst part. I used to read in grade school for fun but as i got older it seemed to get harder.
> 
> ...


Welcome to the board, Chad.

I hear your angst and despair. So, tell me; are you on thyroxine replacement and if so what and how much. When did you last have labs? If they were recent could you please post the results w/ the ranges? We do need the ranges as different labs use different ranges.

Also, have you not been seeing a board certified ophthalmologist for your eyes? There is much to be done cosmetically; that is presuming that your eyes are no longer under attack. If they are, there are many options to stop the antibodies from attacking the orbits and then on to cosmetic surgery later in the game.

Here is a letter you may wish to share w/ family and friends.............

http://home.rica.net/deecee/information.htm

I ask to see your labs and learn of your medication because it does not sound like you are healing from this ordeal which sort of implies that you may not be getting enough thyroxine replacement or maybe even not the right kind.

This disease is traumatic. I personally engaged in counsuling for about 2 years to put my life back together. Best money I ever spent. You may wish to consider this option as well.

This is a pretty upbeat and knowledgable place so hang out with us.


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## Nova (Nov 12, 2009)

Chad, hang in there, believe it or not this disease as destructive, depressing and traumatic as it is also has the power to transform your life in positive ways. I know you will laugh or are laughing as you read that, but folks on this board, including me, empathize with what you wrote in your post and speak out of experience and support of you. I'm glad you found this board - I'm glad I did too! It is a positive and supportive and educational space use it to your benefit and to help others through sharing because you are right, only someone who has had the disease can speak to what it's like.


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## MrGraves (Nov 6, 2009)

Chad, im with ya brother, my misery is daily and one of the things that adds to that is the un certainty of the day, just like you said, am i gonna feel sped up and workable and like nothing can get done fast enough or am i going to want to crash my vehicle into a wall by lunch time... or earlier..

you must have some kind of talent right?
as odd as it may seem, post it... please talk to me here man.. 
i think your in a good place to talk to these people, i just started hanging out here
and just reading your letter of intro.. man, im sorry ... 
and you have had RAI.. im looking to get this around Dec 22.. im 35, & damn miserable 
most of the time but like Andro's said... I found somthing positive in it,... late nights is a understatement, I was in the music industry.. people all around me doing coke and etc etc to "keep going" and i was just going going going.. i never needed substance.. what im saying is. .. i found a place where my situation fit in, it was in the music industry... 
having little responsibility at that time, i rode my energy out going on stage at midnight, doing a 1.5 hour set, hanging out for 4 hours afterword, drive to the next town, take a shower and do it all over again.. no sleep..

very destructive life style but as you know, this disease transforms almost daily, atleast on a mental basis.. so i learned real quick this wasnt a good thing so I got into the industry in a different area but where my late nights and quirky attitude actualy fits in (not as of late as things have been pretty rough) 
do some soul searching as im sure you have and just think..
I swear us hypers are moving about 4 times faster then humans, we think faster but its all in a blurr, like looking at 1,000 pictures in a flash of a second, frame by frame , not in real time, I try to explain this to my family and they just look at me.. TRY to slow these flashes down and fit them stone by stone and block by block and some of them will fit and some of them will fall, between these, you will find somthing... 
I dont know what, but for me it is usually good. 
Peace to you!


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