# Concerned Husband Here...



## HashiHusband16 (Aug 24, 2016)

Hello,

This is my first post on this board and I have recently been encouraged to learn more about Hashimoto's to better help my wife. My wife was diagnosed with Hashimoto's a little over a year ago after several months of confusion over what was going on with her. Her mother has the disease as well and it took quite long to get a diagnosis. She was put on levothyroxine (I believe 60 mg, not sure). When I first met her 4 years ago, her symptoms weren't as obvious. Her memory had issues but that was really the only obvious symptom. When we moved in together, the symptoms became more obvious but we just attributed them to stress. We lived with my parents (my father has Parkinson's and I was unemployed so I was there taking care of him while also looking for work) and it was a stressful situation at times including during the buildup to our wedding. There have been good times and bad but also times where we had some really bad fights, sometimes over the smallest things and sometimes over mistakes I or she made. My wife is also a rape survivor and was diagnosed with PTSD last Fall after she considered driving her car off the road. We went to her doctor and she began seeing a counselor that is helping her deal with the PTSD, which was attributed to her rape. She is doing very well with therapy but I feel after talking with other doctors and medical professionals that she is on the wrong path in regards to her thyroid. As I have learned more about Hashimoto's over the past few days, I have had my eyes opened to how extensive it can be especially in regards to emotions. My wife has been on the same medication since her diagnosis. She was tested back in May and her levels were said to be normal. However, she still is exhibiting symptoms of the disease and they are getting worse at times (dizziness, headaches, mood swings, memory, etc). Her doctor isn't really as accessible as I would like and when we do see her she spends most of her time typing info into her computer. I know a few people with this disease and they seem to think she is either not getting enough medication or needs to be on something else

Also, recently, my wife stopped taking her meds back in April. A month later, as I mentioned, she was tested and her levels were normal. A few weeks ago, she took 2 pregnancy tests that were positive. That same night she took those tests, she began spotting and the next day was bleeding moderately.. We went to the ER where they believed she was miscarrying. A week later, we went to her OB and he told us he couldn't be sure she was ever pregnant and was thinking her Hasimoto's had caused what happened (causing a false positive, causing a miscarriage, etc). He ordered blood tests related to the thyroid, which we are waiting to get back. He also told her not to go back on her levothyroxine yet.

And here is the last most concerning part...the impact on our marriage. Obviously, the disease impacts sex life and I get that. I am quite patient when it comes to that and can deal. My concern is that my wife will lost her feelings for me for periods of time. This has happened a few times previously and I have read it has happened to others as well. I have made mistakes and have not always given my wife what she needs. My biggest issue was that I have never done what my wife has wanted to do unless I was comfortable with it or it was something I already liked doing and had done before. I have been working hard to do better with that so I have no doubt this has made things worse for her but I have been told when it comes to emotions and feelings...it is likely related to her Hasimoto's. She told me this past Sunday that she wasn't even sure if she loved me anymore and that she has begun talking to a former boyfriend. This happened a few years ago as well before we got married. I had spoken with two other Hasimoto's sufferers and they told me they had similar experiences where their spouses even left them for weeks only to come home and not understand why they left in the first place! My wife has had these emotional issues with other relationships too. There have been periods where she felt her and her mother's relationship wasn't the same or what her mom and sister had. Days later, she was fine with it and ok about everything. She has had similar instances with friendships too where she starts feeling differently about a friend and, down the road, goes back to wanting to see them and acting like nothing happened. Sometimes she doesn't even recall these instances.

I just want to gather information about how to help her. I love my wife with all my heart. I am doing everything I can to improve myself for her and our marriage but I am scared that even if I do, things will still fall apart and her life will keep being a struggle for her. Her emotions are just all over the place and I just want to help her and wish her doctor did more. I just feel like things have gotten worse instead of better!


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## my3gr8girls (Mar 18, 2016)

This sounds like a very difficult situation for you, and clearly you are trying very hard! Hang in there. One of the symptoms I experienced during the period when I was hypothyroid was a feeling of detachment even toward people I love. Maybe that is what your wife is experiencing and maybe she feels she can find that feeling again with another person. The fact is, it will come back when she is adequately treated. You might mention that to her. What she's going through is difficult and terrifying I imagine and she's probably desperate to feel better. Just encourage her that once she gets her hormones balanced, everything will be okay.


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## dmcc (May 22, 2016)

HH,

My heart goes out to you. I have and am still going through much of what you have described. It's tough and at times, gutwrenching. I will say this though, it has made me a better person and husband.

My wife had thyroid issues when we dated each other. She had some issues, I suspect are similar to your wife's early in her life, so conflict would arise. When she gave birth to our first child, her thyroid was thrown completely out of whack. I noticed the change early on, and she denied it. Her libido went away, and she became more irritable. I was desperate for answers, and originally thought that she had postpartum depression. It wasn't until a couple of years later, that the thyroid side of things started to take shape. I will say I became (and still can be) obsessive with helping her. I researched her issues, and tried to share. She wasn't interested. In fact, big surprise, it caused more problems in our relationship. I was at a loss. About 3 years later, she started seeing general practitioners and endocrinologists. She was diagnosed with Hashimoto's, and put on Levoxthyrine. She did awful on it. For a short time, in the past she was on Armour and did great. She tried to go back to this, but it was about the year they had a formula change, and she didn't have luck with it either.

Fast forward about 6 years, I was practically begging her to go to a holistic doc, and she relented.The first doc was actually a chiropractor. After 2-3 months of a strict diet, I saw a vast difference. She even apologized to me once about fighting me about seeking help. She admitted she felt better than she had in years. I was ecstatic. This was short-lived. A few months later, she got off the diet and back to problems. We both saw a new doctor, who actually has hypothyroidism herself. My wife really responded to both the treatment and the doc.

Since then, we have moved and had to try a few different doctors before we were able to get her solid help. From the literature, and reading others' experiences, we have strived to go with holistic practitioners whenever possible. The downside is the cost, but in the end it's worth it. I actually see the same doc as my wife, and my health has improved greatly as well!

We still have ups and downs. Diet is one of the key's to fighting Hashimoto's into remission. It is one of my wife's biggest areas of struggle. After over a decade of Hashimoto's, she has come a long way, and I am proud of her.

I tell you all of this for a few reasons. One, to let you know that you aren't alone. There are times when I want to leave my wife. When she is outright cruel due to her condition. Those days are hard. But I know she loves me, and she always comes back around. Another reason is there are a lot of great resources out there for you both. Off the top of my head stopthethyroidmadness, is a great resource. I have used their find a doctor resource a few times with good results. http://thyroidpharmacist.comis another good one. She has a book that I highly recommend called Root Cause by Izabella Wentz. There are countless others. Sometimes you have to filter through the for profit, borderline outrageous claims, but there is plenty of truth in there, keep digging. Last, I just want to share how difficult and problematic it is to be the spouse of someone with Hashimoto's. It pushed me into controlling territory at times, and I regret this. But it also has helped me to be more understanding and trying to be more patient with her and this illness. There is a fine line between lovingly guiding someone to help, and forcing someone to do something they aren't ready to do... even if it's the right thing for them. There is a great difficulty to overcome. It's daily work for both sides.

I hope your wife gets the care she needs. I also wish you the best in your role as a spouse, supporting, and carefully navigate this minefield. I also wish your marriage the best. It and she are worth fighting for!


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## jenny v (May 6, 2012)

Hashi's is not for the weak. It's frustrating when people don't believe it's a horrible disease to have and think one pill will fix everything.

Does your wife have copies of her labs? I'm wondering if her doctor is running the right tests--Free T3, Free T4, thyroid antibodies. It sounds like she is under medicated and dealing with lingering issues.


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## HashiHusband16 (Aug 24, 2016)

jenny v said:


> Hashi's is not for the weak. It's frustrating when people don't believe it's a horrible disease to have and think one pill will fix everything.
> 
> Does your wife have copies of her labs? I'm wondering if her doctor is running the right tests--Free T3, Free T4, thyroid antibodies. It sounds like she is under medicated and dealing with lingering issues.


Yes. In fact, we just had additional labs done on the order from her OB so they could be faxed to her thyroid doctor. Everything tested normal, which is so strange because she has not taken her meds since April and yet her levels are normal? A year ago, she was diagnosed after several lab workups. It seems like her levels fluctuate and you just have to catch it. It wasn't until the 5th or 6th blood test that they were able to diagnose her with Hashimoto's.

Her OB was convinced alot of her recent female problems were related to the thyroid. I think so too, especially when you factor in everything else.


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## Lovlkn (Dec 20, 2009)

> She was tested back in May and her levels were said to be normal.





> Everything tested normal, which is so strange because she has not taken her meds since April and yet her levels are normal?


Normal usually means "in range" In low range is not normal , nor is being in top range. Falling somewhere 1/2-3/4 of range is more acceptable.

What labs exactly did she have run, with ranges please.



> A year ago, she was diagnosed after several lab workups.


If you could provide those 5-6 labs with ranges it would help determine what's going on with your wife.


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## BurntMarshmallow (Feb 26, 2016)

I'm so sorry you and your wife are going through this.

Look into high dose thiamine therapy. Hashimoto's patients have trouble absorbing thiamine.

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/24351023

Thiamine deficiency symptoms are:

Irritability

Fatigue

Edema (swelling)

Cardia symptoms (heart beats too fast or skips a beat)

Memory problems

Nerve and muscle pain, especially at night, and in the feet

The list goes on and on.

I was taking thiamine but recently still had a few days where I had to up my dose. I feel better almost instantly after taking it.

Normally, our bodies make enzymes to transport nutrients across the small intestine. This is called "active transport". ATP is required to make these enzymes. ATP is basically the energy of our bodies. It's like money. You can't do anything without it. Thyroid problems result in a deficiency of ATP. Without ATP, active transport of nutrients does not occur. Without the nutrients, everything falls apart. Hyperthyroid episodes cause the body to use up all it's stores very quickly. No more ATP. Then crash, and you're hypothyroid and you don't make enough ATP. Thyroid patients are basically bad with "ATP", in the same way that some folks are just bad with money. No matter how much we make, we either spend it as soon as we have it, or we just don't have enough.

Thiamine is just one vitamin, but it may be one of the keys to the cycle of decline in thyroid patients. One of thiamine's many many uses is to make stomach acid. So thiamine deficiency leads to low stomach acid, and that leads to a failure to break down food, which leads to a failure to absorb nutrients and then a deficiency in all the vitamins as well as protein deficiency.

When active transport isn't working, it's still possible to get some thiamine into the body through "passive transport", but only when there is A LOT of thiamine. Thiamine is very safe and there is no known dose that is considered toxic. Start with 200mg at one time, with orange juice, or something acidic. You'll know within an hour if it's working. She can take 200mg with each meal.

Start with thiamine, but then read about riboflavin too. Riboflavin is needed to make ATP. T4 is needed for the metabolism of riboflavin, and in this way, thyroid problems directly lead to deficiencies of ATP. Anyone not taking thyroid hormone replacement will have problems with riboflavin. Symptoms are headache, fatigue, burning eyes, and dry lips. Again, large doses are safe and are required in these cases.

All of the b-vitamins are important for red blood cell production. Thiamine and riboflavin deficiencies eventually lead to anemia, which causes the fatigue and headaches, and feeling out of breath, etc.

There is so much more. Many more vitamins your wife should try. I found taking them one at a time helped to figure out how much I needed. Also, some of them I had to start with very small doses spread out during the day because I was so deficient and experienced too much of a rush (spent all my ATP), followed by a fall (no ATP left). Thiamine and riboflavin do not have this risk, so start there. Niacin next.

https://www.amazon.com/Foods-Vitamin-Thiamine-100mg-Tablets/dp/B0009P3DRS/ref=sr_1_2_a_it?ie=UTF8&qid=1473560371&sr=8-2&keywords=thiamine%2B100mg

And this one is great because you put it under your tongue and it's already co-enzymated for you (no ATP required), skipping a bunch of steps:

https://www.amazon.com/Source-Naturals-Coenzymated-Sublingual-Count/dp/B000K9AJQG/ref=sr_1_1_a_it?ie=UTF8&qid=1473560434&sr=8-1&keywords=thiamine%2Bcoenzyme

Best,

Amy


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