# Suspicious for Malignancy, and Surgery Decisions



## TheOtherC-word (Apr 27, 2010)

Hey guys,
Just wanted to get some feedback on my situation. I'm a 29 year old male, and back in January I noticed a large growth on my thyroid, as well as an enlarged lymph node on the back of my neck. We did an ultrasound and it came back as a 3.4 cm solid growth, so we followed with an FNA and the results came back complex cyst suspicious for malignancy, with the idea being that perhaps it's papillary cancer, but we don't know yet definitively. So I'm at the point of having to decide whether or not to go through with the hemi or full thyroidectomy, and my surgeon is urging me to go through with it.

That said, when I first noticed the growth I was coming out of a period of prolonged distress and was very much burned out. Over the past three weeks I've managed to finally fully quit smoking, caffeine, and I'm getting good rest. And in a more general sense, the last three/four months have helped me come out of my burn out. And since the FNA, my nodule has decreased in size by about 50%. Moreover, the results of my cytology showed that while there were numerous clusters of what are likely to be cancerous cells, there were also a fair number of histiocytes (immune cells) on scene.

Because of all this, I'm inclined to push the surgery a few weeks and just watch to see if the lump keeps decreasing, and then, if it does, request a new FNA and get an update. I'm wondering if any of my logic is flawed in all this (and no worries, I'm also seeking some professional opinions too). Some people I've asked have told me that if the cancer has already organized to the point where there's a tumour, then chances are my immune system's already probably lost, but I'm inclined to think the situation is still very fluid. Any opinions on this kind of thing?

Thanks for any feedback,
Chris.


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## Lovlkn (Dec 20, 2009)

Hi Chris,

Welcome to the board - I am sorry for the situation.

If it were me I would have a complete thyroidectomy.

With cancer the problem is you never know when it will spread and while waiting a few weeks might not be a big deal I personally wouldn't chance it.

My girlfriend was in a similar situation, told she most likely had thyroid cancer and had a complete thyroidectomy but thankfully it wasn't cancer. I tell you this because you have to be prepared for whatever they tell you once it is removed. My friends thyroid was very beat up from hashimoto's so having it removed wasn't such a bad thing as it was pretty close to non functioning.

What blood lab tests have they run on you?


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## stacy80 (Feb 22, 2010)

This is such a hard decision. Sorry you are having to face it. I just recently underwent surgery for suspicion of papillary carcinoma. My endo wanted a total thyroidectomy done but my surgeon was more cautious because my FNA was suspicious for malignancy but didn't confirm it. We chose to do a partial right lobectomy with a frozen section test being done during surgery. During surgery they were 90% sure it wasn't cancer based on that test and decided to stop and wait for pathology results to come back. 2 days later we found out it was indeed papillary carcinoma. I went back into surgery the following day to remove the rest of my thyroid and some lymph nodes. Thankfully my cancer was contained to a 2 cm tumor on the right side and had not spread elsewhere. However...having to face that 2nd surgery was not fun at all. I would much rather them had done the whole thing at once.

Now there are risks that are very real if they do it all at one time like injury to the vocal chord nerves and parathyroid damage that are not as bad if done in 2 separate surgeries. I did have some damage to my parathyroid glands but not enough to hurt anything and my vocal chord nerves were all wrapped up in my thyroid so it was a good decision for us to have 2 surgeries even though it wasn't my first choice. Like you my nodule decreased in size so I was pretty confident it couldn't be cancer but I was completely wrong as it turned out. My nodule had been there for at least 3-4 years.

All that being said if I had it to do over again I would only have had one surgery as recovering is much easier. As for waiting for another FNA that is really is up to you. I personally wouldn't chance waiting and possibily having cancer they may spread but that really has to be a decision you make and feel at peace about. My surgery did get delayed a few weeks due to a tooth infection and obviously for me the cancer didn't spread in that time so you never know.

Good luck and keep us updated on what you decide. Whatever the decision I'm sure it will be the right one for you.


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## Andros (Aug 26, 2009)

TheOtherC-word said:


> Hey guys,
> Just wanted to get some feedback on my situation. I'm a 29 year old male, and back in January I noticed a large growth on my thyroid, as well as an enlarged lymph node on the back of my neck. We did an ultrasound and it came back as a 3.4 cm solid growth, so we followed with an FNA and the results came back complex cyst suspicious for malignancy, with the idea being that perhaps it's papillary cancer, but we don't know yet definitively. So I'm at the point of having to decide whether or not to go through with the hemi or full thyroidectomy, and my surgeon is urging me to go through with it.
> 
> That said, when I first noticed the growth I was coming out of a period of prolonged distress and was very much burned out. Over the past three weeks I've managed to finally fully quit smoking, caffeine, and I'm getting good rest. And in a more general sense, the last three/four months have helped me come out of my burn out. And since the FNA, my nodule has decreased in size by about 50%. Moreover, the results of my cytology showed that while there were numerous clusters of what are likely to be cancerous cells, there were also a fair number of histiocytes (immune cells) on scene.
> ...


Hey, Chris and welcome. The sad part of your plan is that when cancer metathisizes; it does not always present as an obvious lump on the exterior of the body.

Just a little tidbit for ya'.....................

Papillary tumors are the most common of all thyroid cancers (>70%). Papillary carcinoma typically arises as an irregular, solid or cystic mass that arises from otherwise normal thyroid tissue. This cancer has a high cure rate with ten year survival rates for all patients with papillary thyroid cancer estimated at 80-90%. Cervical metastasis (spread to lymph nodes in the neck) are present in 50% of small tumors and in over 75% of the larger thyroid cancers. The presence of lymph node metastasis in these cervical areas causes a higher recurrence rate but not a higher mortality rate. Distant metastasis (spread) is uncommon, but lung and bone are the most common sites. Tumors that invade or extend beyond the thyroid capsule have a worsened prognosis because of a high local recurrence rate.

Rest of the article is here........
http://www.endocrineweb.com/capap.html

As far as I know, cancer is not something that is here today and gone tomorrow. That said, do know that "whatever" you decide, we accept that and we will be here for you no matter what.

We have some wonderful folks here who are open-minded and think outside of the box. Whatever works for you, works for us.


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## hillaryedrn (Dec 14, 2009)

Hi there! I completely understand your desire to see what happens since the nodule is decreasing in size, but I don't recommend this. If there are cancer cells (and apparently they do already see them) then all you are doing by waiting is giving the cells more time to grow and spread. Not good. I had my total thyroidectomy on February 2 of this year and I have absolutely NO regrets!! I'm glad you are getting medical consultation as well. I'm sure you will make the right decision for you! Keep us updated!


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## TheOtherC-word (Apr 27, 2010)

Hey guys,
Just wanted to check in and thank you for weighing in; nothing really additional to say as of this point (still waiting for surgery date, still consulting, and so, no firm decision to make as of yet), but I definitely appreciate the feedback. Probably the most helpful tidbit back was decrease in size does not necessarily reliably mean regression of malignancy, which is the point of logic I've been trying to clarify.

Anyway, thanks again,
Chris.


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## Andros (Aug 26, 2009)

TheOtherC-word said:


> Hey guys,
> Just wanted to check in and thank you for weighing in; nothing really additional to say as of this point (still waiting for surgery date, still consulting, and so, no firm decision to make as of yet), but I definitely appreciate the feedback. Probably the most helpful tidbit back was decrease in size does not necessarily reliably mean regression of malignancy, which is the point of logic I've been trying to clarify.
> 
> Anyway, thanks again,
> Chris.


You are welcome and please hang out w/ us. I am sure we all would like to be kept abreast of the situation and we do have a great support group here.


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## stacy80 (Feb 22, 2010)

So glad to hear from you. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. Yes I got really excited to feel my nodule getting smaller so it was extra rough to hear that cancer diagnosis I was so sure I didn't have. It is not a fun road to walk by any means. Please keep us updated.


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## Mariposa (Apr 10, 2010)

I also think that surgery is the right direction to head. I am post-op two months and have to say it was the best thing I could of done for myself. Especially with cancer in your case I would say go for it.


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## hillaryedrn (Dec 14, 2009)

Thanks for the update!! Please keep us updated on what's going on with you!


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## TheOtherC-word (Apr 27, 2010)

Hey guys,
Checking back in.

Here's what happened, and thanks for showing interest; if nothing else it helps me to share my thoughts.

I waited a bit for my surgeon to get back to me with a date, and over time the tumour continued to shrink until it reached a minimum; in retrospect, it looks like the surrounding tissue became less inflamed because I had quit smoking, but the tumour of course did not go away. Had a FNA on a nearby lymph node to determine whether the cancer had metastatized; hopefully, so far it looks like it hasn't. That said, had the thyroid re-aspirated during that same visit, and this time two pathologists concluded that I was no longer merely suspicious for cancer, but was positive for papillary thyroid cancer.

It was a bit of a bummer of course, because I had wanted to believe I could still fight it, and it was hard to swallow in some ways, because I felt like I perhaps deserved it as a result of having allowed my stress to slip out of my control over the past year or so. That said, there's not much I can productively do. The surgery is scheduled for Thursday morning, and I'm scared and sad. Not incapable of dealing, but honestly just scared and sad. I know that in many ways I'm lucky, because I've had childhood friends with more substantial and frightening health problems, and yet I feel sad; basically, I wanted to believe I was immortal for a while longer, or in some way favoured. I'm not sure what to expect from my life after this; how your body will feel without a thyroid, even though my doctor tells me supposedly the experience is not too different; what the scar will look like; how much I'll trust my health; probably other things. I also don't know what to think about what's happened to me in general, and what it makes me think of life, but I can see that as perhaps being beside the point at the moment.

I kind of just don't like losing a part of me. And I'm sure that's not uncommon in this situation.

Anyway, thanks for letting me articulate, and hope all's well with you guys.

Chris.

P.S.: Hmm, it reads like a bit of a vent; maybe to keep it clear, I think of myself as being pretty lucky that so far it's JUST papillary thyroid cancer.


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## Lovlkn (Dec 20, 2009)

TheOtherC-word said:


> Hey guys,
> Checking back in.
> 
> Here's what happened, and thanks for showing interest; if nothing else it helps me to share my thoughts.
> ...


Hi Chris,

No Problem- talk about it all you want/need to - you have every right to feel how you do and we've been there in one way or another so we "get it".

Making the decision to remove my thyroid without cancer was a HUGE decision and I totally get the not such a good idea to remove such an important body part concept.

Have they given you a date for your surgery yet?

lovlkn


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## TheOtherC-word (Apr 27, 2010)

I'm going in in about 24 hours. Emotionally, I'm not really ready, and yet I understand it's probably cancer, and something probably needs to be done.

I guess, well... it's so final. In some ways it's almost too big for me to really adequately think about. Everything is laid out in such a way that all I need to do is get there and then cope with the aftermath once it's done. But for whatever reason I just don't feel clear about the choice. Part of me wants to run, but I've been told many times over, it's cancer. Part of me wants to adopt the stance of like, "well, let's be adult. Something has to be done."

But yeah, I just don't have that sense in me really. To be honest, I kind of never imagined it'd actually get to this point, but the clock's ticking down.


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## Andros (Aug 26, 2009)

TheOtherC-word said:


> Hey guys,
> Checking back in.
> 
> Here's what happened, and thanks for showing interest; if nothing else it helps me to share my thoughts.
> ...


Hi, Chris. Hey, you will be in my prayers tomorrow (6/17/10) and you are going to be fine; absolutely fine!!! Sorry you have to go through this but believe it or not, you are favored. Just think if they had not found the cancer! Someone "up there" is smiling upon you, you can be sure of that!!!

We are here for you. I did not have the surgery so I can't be much help there except to say that 99.9% of patients do very very well and are back on their feet in no time at all.

Others will who have had surgery will comment, I am sure.

{{{{Chris}}}}


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## desrtbloom (May 23, 2010)

Hi Chris:

I am praying for you and that your surgeon has a healing hand and that you have a speedy recovery and that mentally and emotionally you feel better that you have removed the cancer. I am having a total thyroidectomy next month. I am nervious and scared, but I know in the end it is the right decision. I also quit smoking on January 1st and I understand your battle. You can do it! 

Best Regards,
Patti


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## desrtbloom (May 23, 2010)

P.S. You are a youngster! ;-) You have a LONG life ahead of you. Don't let this get you down.


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## TheOtherC-word (Apr 27, 2010)

Thanks, guys.

So, it's pretty soon now. I'm just getting ready to walk down to the hospital, two blocks down the street.

I kind of can't believe this is really happening; I'm not going to be the way I was when I came into this world. And that's okay I guess. It's cancer; I haven't really been able to accept that.

Okay, I guess I'm ready.

What does it mean to have everything fall in place, exactly as you think it should? I was a handsome and athletic twenty-something, and somehow I've been reduced to, what seems some days, a pulp. I hope this is just a bump.

Thanks, guys. It really means a lot to have heard your comments, and especially comforting were the ones from more recent survivors who seem happy with how things turned out. I tried to make something of a sweeping philosophical statement about listening, but it totally didn't land, so instead, just thanks for listening.

Gotta go,
Chris

explode

...the point being, when you get cancer, you just wish somebody would listen.


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## Andros (Aug 26, 2009)

TheOtherC-word said:


> Thanks, guys.
> 
> So, it's pretty soon now. I'm just getting ready to walk down to the hospital, two blocks down the street.
> 
> ...


We are listening and we hear you also. I am praying you will breeze right through this and guess what? You will have your life back again; even better than before I should expect?

Why would this be? Because we all now know not to take anything for granted and we work harder at being healthier.

Let us know how you are doing when you are able.


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## GD Women (Mar 5, 2007)

In a few months you will look back and find this all behind you. 
You still will be a handsome and athletic, and the same person you were before this all happened. Think positive and things will fall in place as they should. Keep us in formed and prove me right.

Thoughts and prayers.


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## Lovlkn (Dec 20, 2009)

Chris,

It's probably all over by now - hopefully you are home recovering. Ice the incision site and keep ahead of the pain and in a few days you will be back to your "normal" journey.

Be sure to get FT-4 and FT-3 in addition to the TSH they most certainly will run.


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## desrtbloom (May 23, 2010)

Hi Chris:

I am still praying for you and sending you positive vibes. I know this has been very difficult for you to accept, but what you are going through now really is just a small portion of a long life ahead of you, a life full of love, adventure and good things. Yes, there will be probably more things that shake you in your long lifetime because that is part of the adventure, but overall I just feel confident that you are a survivor, strong and are going to use this experience to enrich your own life and the lives of others.

Hoping when you read this you are feeling some peace and calm and that all of your cancer has been removed and you are on your way to good health.

*BigitwillbeokayHUG*

Patti

:hugs:


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## TheOtherC-word (Apr 27, 2010)

Hey guys,
Just discharged. Didn't necessarily get told too much; apparently the cancer hadn't spread too far and was localized to the thyroid, so no lymph dissection, and hopefully therefore no other mets. I'm not doing too well with calcium at the moment; woke up this morning and my limbs were fuzzing out, but I've stabilized a bit. I don't know... kind of emotionally still getting used to the situation. So much of my life up this point was spent enjoying my brain, so the idea of a brain fog, which I may already be coping with, scares me. I can understand one of the points made above (sorry, still coming out of a surgical haze, so can't keep track of who's contributing what), that something like this really shakes up your sense of journey.

I'm angry, I'm a little worried as to whether I did the right thing, although I appreciate I did the safe thing given the info and timeframe. I guess I'm just trying to figure out how to be cool about this without veering too negative, which I have a natural tendency to do; so much of this process felt beyond my control. Anyway, thanks guys, was nice to come back and see your comments. Appreciate the help so far.

Yours,
Chris.


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## desrtbloom (May 23, 2010)

Hi Chris:

So glad to hear from you and that you are now home and resting. It sounds like your surgery was successful, although you are still concerned you have done the right thing. It definitely sounds like you have and part of what you are going through are your hormones are all over the place which makes you have the brain fog and the ups and downs and not feeling confident. I have been going through it myself and I HATE the brain fog. I do know that it will go away though, so hang in there. Once you get on whatever thyroid replacement therapy you will be on (which I assume you have been given?) you should start leveling out and start feeling like your old self.

It sounds like you are grieving which isn't uncommon when you are going through cancer or a chronic illness. It's like a death of your health as you have known it. I have been going through the same thing. It might help to seek out a psychologist to talk to so that you can get some helping coping with it all. It's a lot to go through alone.

In the meantime, cut yourself a break and rest. I hope you have someone taking care of you right now.

Still praying for your recovery and sending you positive thoughts.

:hugs:

Patti


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## Lovlkn (Dec 20, 2009)

TheOtherC-word said:


> Hey guys,
> Just discharged. Didn't necessarily get told too much; apparently the cancer hadn't spread too far and was localized to the thyroid, so no lymph dissection, and hopefully therefore no other mets. I'm not doing too well with calcium at the moment; woke up this morning and my limbs were fuzzing out, but I've stabilized a bit. I don't know... kind of emotionally still getting used to the situation. So much of my life up this point was spent enjoying my brain, so the idea of a brain fog, which I may already be coping with, scares me. I can understand one of the points made above (sorry, still coming out of a surgical haze, so can't keep track of who's contributing what), that something like this really shakes up your sense of journey.
> 
> I'm angry, I'm a little worried as to whether I did the right thing, although I appreciate I did the safe thing given the info and timeframe. I guess I'm just trying to figure out how to be cool about this without veering too negative, which I have a natural tendency to do; so much of this process felt beyond my control. Anyway, thanks guys, was nice to come back and see your comments. Appreciate the help so far.
> ...


{{Hugs}} Chris,

FANTASTIC that the cancer was contained to the thyroid!!! Will they do any RAI?

I have a few questions and know exactly that post fog feeling so I hope you can answer them.

What amount of calcium do they have you supplementing with?

How many parathyroid glands were they able to save? You start with 4 but can live fine with as little as 1-2.

Have you begun your replacement meds yet and what dosage have they started you on? Manufacturer recommendation is 1.7mcg per kilogram of weight which gives you a good starting point.


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## Andros (Aug 26, 2009)

TheOtherC-word said:


> Hey guys,
> Just discharged. Didn't necessarily get told too much; apparently the cancer hadn't spread too far and was localized to the thyroid, so no lymph dissection, and hopefully therefore no other mets. I'm not doing too well with calcium at the moment; woke up this morning and my limbs were fuzzing out, but I've stabilized a bit. I don't know... kind of emotionally still getting used to the situation. So much of my life up this point was spent enjoying my brain, so the idea of a brain fog, which I may already be coping with, scares me. I can understand one of the points made above (sorry, still coming out of a surgical haze, so can't keep track of who's contributing what), that something like this really shakes up your sense of journey.
> 
> I'm angry, I'm a little worried as to whether I did the right thing, although I appreciate I did the safe thing given the info and timeframe. I guess I'm just trying to figure out how to be cool about this without veering too negative, which I have a natural tendency to do; so much of this process felt beyond my control. Anyway, thanks guys, was nice to come back and see your comments. Appreciate the help so far.
> ...


Chris, good to hear from you. Hey; let that brain enjoy you for a change! Relax, put your tootsies up and start your healing journey.

We are all glad to hear that the cancer was confined! That is the best news of all. Time was of the essence.

Did they give you Rx for calcium? If not, you can take Tums but you should check w/ the doctor before you do this.


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## GD Women (Mar 5, 2007)

Don't' look back at your decision right now, you made the right one for you and your health. Now you know the cancer was confined, that is a big plus. Concentrate on healing and don't stress about your decision. Being positive is part of the healing process. You will get your brain back and soon you will be athletic again, handsome as ever and the same person you were before this all happened. You have a bright healthy future ahead of you.

Heal fast and stay positive.:hugs:


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## desrtbloom (May 23, 2010)

Hi Chris:

Just following up to see how you are feeling? You doing okay? I hope you are resting and getting better each day.

Hang in there and please know "this too shall pass."

:hugs:

Patti


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## stacy80 (Feb 22, 2010)

So glad to hear from you Chris. I hope you are recovering well. I remember having a ton of emotions after my surgery. How are you feeling now that you are a couple of weeks out from surgery? I know after my surgery that my calcium was a bit sketchy as well and I just took tums and it helped a lot. Later on my calcium stabilized for me and this is with some minor damage being done to my parathyroid glands during surgery. Will be praying for you as you continue on your journey.


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## TheOtherC-word (Apr 27, 2010)

Hey guys,
Well, yeah, it's now two weeks out. I've mainly just been lying around the house and, after the first week, started going out in the evenings for coffee with friends. Managed to teach myself a fair bit of piano between the period leading up to the surgery and now, which is how I've been keeping busy during the sitting around. I just pulled the steri-strips off earlier this morning for the first time; I've been doing what I like to call a "slow rollout" re: the consequences of my surgery: only deal with the next bad thing as I have to. The internal stitches are still present, so I don't know how the scar will ultimately look and feel; it's large lengthwise, certainly, but I also get the impression it actually will fade with time. I have a beard right now, and the scar doesn't particularly dwarf my appearance, not to focus on the vanities, but it's more, if anything, the reminder. The area itself is a little tight and numb still, but again, I suspect a lot of the torsion might be due to the stitches, so I'm withholding judgement for the moment.

My energy is back up a little, compared to the period immediately following the surgery. I was pretty much a mess right after, like emotionally. Not as bad as the weeks leading up to the surgery, but just very glum. Oddly, or perhaps not oddly, I felt better after in some ways; there seems to have been what you might call a "tumour load" or "cancer load" on my body while the cancer was there, even if it was just ultimately emotional. I was driving one afternoon last week and all of a sudden mentally phased back to three weeks ago, before the surgery, and just remembered what my body felt like and how ill I was.

But it's sort of a different type of ill now. My calcium is improving somewhat, but if I don't supplement because I start to get cocky about it, by the end of the day I do start to go into shock. For a time just crossing my legs would put them to sleep; my circulation is still pretty easily disrupted by leaning my limbs against anything. Realistically, if I were wagering without adding any unnecessary angst, I'd actually say I positively believe my parathyroids will be fine, and I'll eventually be back in the calcium processing business. It just feels like that's where things are headed, to be cautiously optimistic. The brain fog is something else, and frankly just really, really annoying. I'm not getting hot or cold flashes or anything like that, I just feel a constant kind of dull-ness, occassionally also just dizziness... I suppose you might call it a bit of a perma-flu. It's better and worse from time to time during the day, sometimes varying quite unpredictably, but never really optimal. I'm meeting with my endo sometime in the week after next, and supposedly we'll hammer out a supplementation regime, as well as know enough about the calcium to go from there.

On a personal note, I suppose I've just been playing it easy. I still enjoy hanging out with friends, and so, measured by the little things, life's still great. That said, I'm not so happy if I were to be honest with myself; I don't know if I'd say I'm angry, but disappointed is a word that does fit. Not expecting anyone here to really respond to that one, nor would I necessarily want that; I guess I add it mainly for completeness, and because it's nice to say. In theory I was very sick for a long time, atleast a year, and it's very sad to look back at just the emotional devastation, much of which I had no means of understanding at the time. I'm hooking up with some counsellors down at the clinic, and I don't want to oversell any sense of disappointment, other than to say it's been real and part of my recovery. I'm waiting another couple months to see where I'm at more realistically, but certainly I do wonder whether I'll ultimately be as capable in my life, or whether I'll need to tweak my expectations.

And that's that. Thanks for giving me the opp to set it down.


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## Andros (Aug 26, 2009)

TheOtherC-word said:


> Hey guys,
> Well, yeah, it's now two weeks out. I've mainly just been lying around the house and, after the first week, started going out in the evenings for coffee with friends. Managed to teach myself a fair bit of piano between the period leading up to the surgery and now, which is how I've been keeping busy during the sitting around. I just pulled the steri-strips off earlier this morning for the first time; I've been doing what I like to call a "slow rollout" re: the consequences of my surgery: only deal with the next bad thing as I have to. The internal stitches are still present, so I don't know how the scar will ultimately look and feel; it's large lengthwise, certainly, but I also get the impression it actually will fade with time. I have a beard right now, and the scar doesn't particularly dwarf my appearance, not to focus on the vanities, but it's more, if anything, the reminder. The area itself is a little tight and numb still, but again, I suspect a lot of the torsion might be due to the stitches, so I'm withholding judgement for the moment.
> 
> My energy is back up a little, compared to the period immediately following the surgery. I was pretty much a mess right after, like emotionally. Not as bad as the weeks leading up to the surgery, but just very glum. Oddly, or perhaps not oddly, I felt better after in some ways; there seems to have been what you might call a "tumour load" or "cancer load" on my body while the cancer was there, even if it was just ultimately emotional. I was driving one afternoon last week and all of a sudden mentally phased back to three weeks ago, before the surgery, and just remembered what my body felt like and how ill I was.
> ...


Hey, Chris. Good to hear from you! I think finding out that one just simply cannot control everything is a disappointment. Once that reality hits home and we quit reeling from the shock of that little tidbit of knowledge, we do recover and hopefully the experience add to our emotional maturation.

I applaud you for hooking up w/ counseling. I did the very same thing in the aftermath of Graves' Disease and it was money well spent. Psychologists are adept at treating the emotional aspects of chronic disease and helping the client to re-frame, re-plan and re-build. So, go for it.

Wishing you peace and serenity.


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## TheOtherC-word (Apr 27, 2010)

Hey guys,
Checking in because I need some help or to vent, or to something. Perhaps I'm just hoping for a bit of a perspective jar, or to share. Whatever the case may be, I'm about five weeks post surgery, and about a week and a half away from RAI. I've been off, or was never given, thyroid supplementation, and I don't know what the bottoming out point is, but I first started becoming tired, hypo and whatnot about two or three weeks ago. The last week however has been something a little different. I'm not sure if I'm just agitated because I began the low-iodine diet and my body is now dealing with dairy, wheat, and/or numerous other withdrawals on top, but I'm even more agitated than I was while just becoming hypo, which was not, in itself, pleasant of course (but doable). I'm trying to keep clinical about this, i.e.: detached, aware of the biochemical upsets, but emotionally I find that many hours a day I'm now, how do you say, "a wreck." Also, I'm just processing all ... well, no, the best way to say it is, I'm trying not to take too seriously how I feel about my situation until after I get through RAI and resupplemented, on the idea that perhaps I approach it/feel differently. That said, while I'm upset, I'm very upset about my situation.

I've taken a peruse; I do see that the hypo desert between surgery and RAI is usually considered the hardest part.


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## Andros (Aug 26, 2009)

TheOtherC-word said:


> Hey guys,
> Checking in because I need some help or to vent, or to something. Perhaps I'm just hoping for a bit of a perspective jar, or to share. Whatever the case may be, I'm about five weeks post surgery, and about a week and a half away from RAI. I've been off, or was never given, thyroid supplementation, and I don't know what the bottoming out point is, but I first started becoming tired, hypo and whatnot about two or three weeks ago. The last week however has been something a little different. I'm not sure if I'm just agitated because I began the low-iodine diet and my body is now dealing with dairy, wheat, and/or numerous other withdrawals on top, but I'm even more agitated than I was while just becoming hypo, which was not, in itself, pleasant of course (but doable). I'm trying to keep clinical about this, i.e.: detached, aware of the biochemical upsets, but emotionally I find that many hours a day I'm now, how do you say, "a wreck." Also, I'm just processing all ... well, no, the best way to say it is, I'm trying not to take too seriously how I feel about my situation until after I get through RAI and resupplemented, on the idea that perhaps I approach it/feel differently. That said, while I'm upset, I'm very upset about my situation.
> 
> I've taken a peruse; I do see that the hypo desert between surgery and RAI is usually considered the hardest part.


I had no idea. They could have put you on T3 (Cytomel) all this time. The caveat being that you have to stop it 2 weeks prior to the RAI. Since the half-life is approx 2 1/2 days, that would not have been too hard on you. T3 is your active hormone and would have kept you feeling on top of things for the duration.

Are you going to have only one RAI? Hopefully this will soon be over for you and you can get on track. I hear you; I truly do and my heart breaks for you right now.

We must constantly remind ourselves of what we are grateful for; one being they found the cancer.

Hugs,


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## TheOtherC-word (Apr 27, 2010)

Hey Andros,
Thanks for the reply; apparently the situation originally was we didn't know if we'd have to follow up with RAI because the progression was limited but borderline, so we did the surgery, then waited for the pathology, which came back, say, two weeks later (or came to me atleast). At that point, the diagnosis was a 3cm follicular cancer in the left lobe, which had spread to at least three of the lymph nodes on my left side; hence the ablation. By that point I was already about three weeks away from when we could book the radiation suite, so we just decided instead of beginning any supplementation to ride it through. Looks like it'll be one RAI only, but we won't know how far or aggressively it travelled through the nodes until the scan. Probably didn't make it too much further (no vascular invasion, I believe it was confined to capsule for the most part). It's touch and go; sometimes I'm good, othertimes I'm bad. The docs I'm good friends with keep assuring me that I'll be very normal at the end, and they've been really open with me throughout, so I tend to take their word as accurate and it calms me.

Thanks for the supportive feeback,
Chris.


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## desrtbloom (May 23, 2010)

Hi Chris:

First: :hugs:

Your mental and emotional state is totally normal. You aren't crazy or anything it is all part of the thyroid disease. At my worst, I was so angry, irritated, heart pounding out of my chest, couldn't sit still, emotional, etc., etc., etc. The least little things made me just feel so out of control at times. I am one week post surgery tomorrow and on Synthroid. I found out that I did not have cancer - Thank God. I was told that I would have to go off all thyroid meds if there was cancer and do RAI four weeks later, so what you are going through is normal.

I can tell you that everyone that I have spoken to that has had surgery and then the RAI was put on their thyroid replacement and felt so much better in no time. I started Synthroid last Friday and I honestly feel great, mentally and emotionally feeling. I finally am feeling mentally and emotionally like my oldself again.

So please hang in there and cut yourself some slack and realize that what you are going through is "normal" and that it WILL pass once you get on your permanent thyroid replacement. If you can be patient just about sixty days longer, you'll probably feel pretty darn good.....God willing.

Best Regards,
Patti


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## Andros (Aug 26, 2009)

TheOtherC-word said:


> Hey Andros,
> Thanks for the reply; apparently the situation originally was we didn't know if we'd have to follow up with RAI because the progression was limited but borderline, so we did the surgery, then waited for the pathology, which came back, say, two weeks later (or came to me atleast). At that point, the diagnosis was a 3cm follicular cancer in the left lobe, which had spread to at least three of the lymph nodes on my left side; hence the ablation. By that point I was already about three weeks away from when we could book the radiation suite, so we just decided instead of beginning any supplementation to ride it through. Looks like it'll be one RAI only, but we won't know how far or aggressively it travelled through the nodes until the scan. Probably didn't make it too much further (no vascular invasion, I believe it was confined to capsule for the most part). It's touch and go; sometimes I'm good, othertimes I'm bad. The docs I'm good friends with keep assuring me that I'll be very normal at the end, and they've been really open with me throughout, so I tend to take their word as accurate and it calms me.
> 
> Thanks for the supportive feeback,
> Chris.


Chris; I agree w/your doctors. Ultimately you are going to be fine. Actually more than fine. They will get it all and the only thing I can say at this point is thank God it was diagnosed and taken care of w/proper medical intervention.

This has not been a good time for you so do know that we "are" here for you in all ways.

Sending hugs,


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