# Save My Life



## davidhjkang (Oct 11, 2012)

Hello all. I've been conversing with a very intelligent and wise thyroid sufferer named AJ, who has also had troubles with doctors and endocrinologists as most of us had. Due to my worsening condition, and lack of family support, I wrote AJ a message, asking him to email my parents, explaining the situation that I am in.

"AJ,

If you could write a letter to my parents, explaining that it makes perfect sense that I was overlooked by all these doctors and psychiatrists even though my levels are in range because it happens to so many thyroid sufferers, and that many thyroid sufferers are misdiagnosed with mental illnesses, and explain that my TSI is indicative of Graves' even though it's below the "positive" marker, and that I need treatment soon or I'm going to be very sick or end up in psychiatric ward, and explain it in a way that's easy for them to understand and so they will be convinced, then not only would I greatly appreciate it, but at this point I am certain it could save my life.

Although at this point I don't believe I am in danger of thyroid storm or anything like that anytime soon, the symptoms are completely tearing me apart. I'm entering that "Graves' can mimic schizophrenia" stage and am completely delirious every second of every day. The only thing keeping me somewhat grounded are anti-depressants. I also took a TSH test today and my levels finally dropped below range.

I don't mean to use you or take advantage of this nice, smart, person online or anything like that. Of all the people I've been speaking to online, you are definitely the wisest, most experienced, and most knowledgeable on thyroid illnesses and understand how we are overlooked by so many certified doctors and physicians. I really believe that my parents will listen to you because you are much older than I am.

My parents both believe that I am delusional and paranoid because the doctor and endo didn't believe there was an issue with me, and I've been begging them for support and additional help, but every time I do they get angry with me and now it's common knowledge in my entire family, including my relatives that I am in "denial." My health has been declining, and I now have zero credibility for anything I say because I have been deemed delusional by my entire family, and my parents are soon threatening to kick me out of the house. I'm soon on the way to becoming homeless because I am in no position to be working, and I might even end up checking into the psychiatric ward and acting like I am crazy, at least I'll have a place to stay. I love my family, and it breaks my heart that I need their help, and have been labelled selfish and crazy instead.

Please AJ, I know this is absolutely insane. You don't know me that well, or owe me anything for that matter. I'm just some kid on the internet. And honestly this wasn't my intention at all when I first messaged you, but the Graves' rage and mental aberrations are soon going to make my thinking completely incoherent and I won't even be in a position to help myself. I have no family to turn to, no money, soon no place to live, and a worsening illness. I'm desperate. My illness has been causing my entire family a lot of hardship as well, and I hate seeing everyone suffer because of me. I promise I'm not a bad person.. I'm a good person. I've made my mistakes and sins but it's always been my purpose in life to live to help others. I believe I have a lot to offer to the world and I don't want to end up homeless, dead, or in a psychiatric ward . =[

Again, I know this gesture is very weird and strange coming from some random kid on the internet, but with all my heart I don't mean to use you or anything like that, I'm just someone who desperately needs help, and I believe you have the ability to save my life and also my family a lot of hardship. If there was someway I could give back I would. Who knows, maybe one day in the future I will be able to be in a position to give back.

[Facebook link removed]

That's my facebook. Just so you know I'm some regular guy, or at least used to be..

[Youtube link removed]

There's a youtube clip of me.. haha. Just another way to identify with me that I'm just some regular guy. Now I'm looking at that video and don't even recognize myself. It breaks me heart, I wish I could just for one minute feel how healthy I felt.

If you are willing to, please let me know.

If you can't for whatever reason... I understand. If you know anyone else whose would be willing to please let me know. If you could also give some advice, as what to do in my situation, that would be appreciated as well. I really don't know what to do.

Thank you so much AJ. Whether you can help or not, or you're a very, very nice person and I appreciate ALL the help you have given me so far 100%.

- David"

If anyone else can, my email is [email address removed]

Please email me so I can fwd it to my parents.

Thank you so much thyroidboards and all of it's members for the encouragement and support thus far. I'm sorry if this is weird, at this point I really don't know what to do.


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## HotGrandma (Sep 21, 2012)

David:

I am old enough to be your mother. I am offering some motherly advice, PLEASE LISTEN. I understand your PANIC to get better, but it can't happen overnight or in as fast of pace as you would like. This you have to accept. Until you accept this you are NOT GOING to get RELIEF. You are only going to get worse.

Next, I caution u regading what u put on facebook and any links to you. Facebok CAN and WILL be used against you. Wether its in employment, legal or social. You could be your own worst enemy and never get the job you want even after you have recovered cause of Facebook. I urge u to take my motherly advice to heart


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## Octavia (Aug 1, 2011)

HotGrandma said:


> David:
> 
> Next, I caution u regading what u put on facebook and any links to you. Facebok CAN and WILL be used against you. Wether its in employment, legal or social. You could be your own worst enemy and never get the job you want even after you have recovered cause of Facebook. I urge u to take my motherly advice to heart


David, I agree wholeheartedly with what HotGrandma is saying here. Please be VERY careful when deciding what personal/health information to share online. What she says is absolutely correct.

I am going to remove the links you've shared in your post to protect your personal information.


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## davidhjkang (Oct 11, 2012)

Thank you hotgrandma and octavia for the advice. I'm sorry I was freaking out that night.


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## rkh3 (Feb 27, 2010)

While is true psychological issues and Graves sometimes go hand in hand you are far too focused on blaming everything on Graves. From what I read you may not even have it
Get a psychological consult ASAP.


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## Andros (Aug 26, 2009)

rkh3 said:


> While is true psychological issues and Graves sometimes go hand in hand you are far too focused on blaming everything on Graves. From what I read you may not even have it
> Get a psychological consult ASAP.


Just to bring you up to date:

TSH .664 REF .550-4.780 
FT4 1.9 Range .8-1.8 
FT3 3.6 Range 2.3-4.2

Vitamin D Deficiency

TSI 58 0-139%

Ultrasound found no nodules or goiter.










Post #6, http://www.thyroidboards.com/showthread.php?t=7022


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## I DClaire (Jul 31, 2011)

David, how old are you? You mention being a "random kid on the Internet" but your writing, the way you've composed your thoughts, is so perfect - you may be young but you have good writing skills and your thoughts are well organized, even though something may be happening that makes you feel otherwise.

My heart goes out to you - I've just suffered through the worst year of my life following a thyroidectomy 14 months ago. It's tough sometimes.

Have you had a thorough physical examination? You mentioned a word that struck very close to something that happens to my mother every so often - hallucinating. Mother is as sane and serious as a person can be...until she gets a bladder infection AND she gets raging bladder infections with NO symptoms of a bladder infection. Mother has been hospitalized with hallucinations, then eventually diagnosed with a bladder infection. She sees her doctors regularly but I don't think tests for bladder infections are ordered unless the patient complains of symptoms and Mother never has symptoms.

I hope when I say "hang in there" it doesn't sound trivial because it sounds like you're smart enough to know something is wrong...but you're fighting an uphill battle trying to get diagnosed. Thyroid imbalances will do a number on you, many of the symptoms are whatever the plural is of diagnosis is in and of themselves!! Doctors will launch off into treating the specific symptoms but overlook the cause. When I finally found the Endocrinologist who accurately diagnosed me, I had previously been referred to an orthopedic specialist, a psychiatrist, a cardiologist and an Ear, Nose & Throat specialist all the while seeing an Internist. The word "thyroid" got tossed around a lot, I had ultrasounds and nuclear scans every six months for almost two years...but my thyroid was never specifically and seriously addressed until I happened to find the right doctor.


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## talley (Jul 28, 2012)

Quote:
"Originally Posted by rkh3 View Post
While is true psychological issues and Graves sometimes go hand in hand you are far too focused on blaming everything on Graves. From what I read you may not even have it
Get a psychological consult ASAP."

Just to bring you up to date:

TSH .664 REF .550-4.780
FT4 1.9 Range .8-1.8
FT3 3.6 Range 2.3-4.2

Vitamin D Deficiency

TSI 58 0-139%

Ultrasound found no nodules or goiter.
------------------------------------------------------------------------

I think to say ALL of these symptoms that are being discussed are caused by Graves is irresponsible as forum participants.

The number of posts - asking for help - seem to point possibly to a mental illness - this is NOT to say there is no Graves. There are specific problems that present in late teens and early twenties - again, we do not know the entire story here just what is posted.

I really think that, as a former psychologist, ALL symptoms need to be evaluated - by medical doctors and possibly psychologists....there have been too many warning signs posted in these threads.

I do agree that there is "stress" and "anxiety" caused by Graves, but with the levels indicated, it also seems as though there could be more going on.

We are not medical professionals on here - and we only hear what participants want to "tell" us - to say that there isn't anything else going on is irresponsible.


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## davidhjkang (Oct 11, 2012)

..Can someone please explain to me how (apparently excessively) posting threads genuinely asking for help is immediately indicative of mental illness which requires psychiatric/psychological help? Isn't that what these online forums are for?

Relax guys. It turns out I have an issue with my adrenals (after testing my cortisol levels) which I'm getting checked into further. I'm very familiar with anxiety and all of its symptoms, however my symptoms have been manifesting in a very different way, therefore I KNEW it was something whether it was a thyroid condition or something else. However, because I believed it to be a thyroid condition, I just wanted to know as much as I could about it before ruling it out.

I feel like shrinks these days are waay too quick to label someone mentally ill and get them anesthetized on medication.

By the way, I hope you guys know anti-anxiety medication and anti-depressants are never a CURE for anxiety and anxiety-related conditions. They temporarily alleviate symptoms, and can be very useful in certain situations, but anxiety is a behavioral condition not a physical or mental illness. Just so you know if you recommend psychology or psychiatry to someone whose anxious, your only going to make their situation worse. I recommend, you recommend, cognitive behavioral therapy, for a  behavioral condition.


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## CA-Lynn (Apr 29, 2010)

There were some red flags in your posts, David, and while I can't speak for everyone else, I judged you to be in your late teens or early 20's......which is prime time for certain psychiatric disorders to pop up that cause anxiety and other symptoms.


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## davidhjkang (Oct 11, 2012)

I'm 21. No, I understand how I could have come across as mentally ill to some people. Haha.

I've grown up in an old-fashioned, strict, conservative Korean household in a middle/lower class neighborhood. I'm not young enough to be taken care of, nor have I reached a point in my life where I can afford my own healthcare. Given the symptoms I've been experiencing, I've gone from an independent young man to a "paranoid" basket case. Given my situation, I used the little resources I had (being people and information on the internet) in an attempt to benefit my situation. Being that I don't have the luxury of being able to see numerous doctors without being crucified by my parents, I would call my actions resourceful rather than reflective of mental illness. Maybe I'm not as "desperate" as I allow myself to be portrayed if you catch my drift eyy? Anyways.. I'll stop now before I come across as too arrogant. I'll take my ideologies to some philosophy forum. Haha.

But hey, believe what you want (not directed at you CA-Lynn you've been super supportive), I know I'm not mentally ill so I don't take offense. Just a little surprised at how quick people are to judge.


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## davidhjkang (Oct 11, 2012)

talley said:


> Quote:
> "Originally Posted by rkh3 View Post
> While is true psychological issues and Graves sometimes go hand in hand you are far too focused on blaming everything on Graves. From what I read you may not even have it
> Get a psychological consult ASAP."
> ...


Just out of curiosity, what mental illness (assuming I have one) would you identify with me? I'm not jumping down your throat (sorry if I'm coming across that way), cause you do agree my symptoms need to be evaluated by medical doctors (and possibly psychologists), but I do a lot of researching on mental illness for fun because they are intriguing to me and was wondering which one you would identify with me given my actions. Just curious, this stuff is interesting to me.

Btw Andros, if you want to move this thread to a misc. section I understand. It's not really relevant to thyroid disorders haha.


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## CA-Lynn (Apr 29, 2010)

I can't answer for Talley but my hope is that her response would be somethng along the lines of, "I don't have enough information to answer the question."


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## talley (Jul 28, 2012)

CA-Lynn said:


> I can't answer for Talley but my hope is that her response would be somethng along the lines of, "I don't have enough information to answer the question."


That would be exactly my response. I again think that sometimes the problem on message boards is that not enough information is given - a doctor in a room with a patient can have a dialogue and as the patient answers question they can then go on to ask different questions - working on a diagnosis...

I just think that with a host of different symptoms, it is important to look at all possible causes. If someone is crying out for help, ie. "save my life", message boards may not the best place for help - an actual face-to-face within the medical community seems advisable.


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