# please help...lonely facing divorce over hypothyroid



## brokenmarriage (Dec 2, 2013)

Hi everyone. I'm the husband of the most beautiful female God has blessed this earth with. We been married 8 yrs now and the last 5 years, I went from a man who couldn't keep up with his wife, to a man who's wife's libido is non-existant. This has taken me down so hard, feel alone, disgarded, unwanted, and lost. We recently discovered her weight gain, loss of libido, narcalrpsy (falling asleep standing up, etc)....ALWAYS tired, joint pain and the evident list goes on. Hypothyroidism at its worst, has brought me to a point to leave her. Its not being treated yet. I know she needs T3 (cytomel) and so does she. I'm more worried about her health, than sex. But being an ex hooter model, and wearing me out always demanding more sex, even minutes after making love, to a non existent part of who she was is breaking my marriage fast. This is NOT about me, I understand her illness, and have read how this destroys marriages. This is the first time I've posted my pain anywhere on this matter. Imagine winning a lottery....having the ticket, but unable to cash it. My wife is my lottery....she's worth more than money. Her love is the most amazing feeling a man dreams of. She loves me, I do not doubt her love for me. But I feel a relationship, without the act of making love, is a friendship. I cry myself to sleep missing 'us'. She doesn't miss us either. I completely understand hormones...I worked at a hospital, I'm a 10+ year veteran bodybuilder, have used steroids in my past and body chemistry is something I pride myself in. I stop and buy my wife flowers just to see her smile, I make her feel like a queen every moment, foot rubs, back scratches, ANYTHING and EVERYTHING a woman needs and wants, I do, all because of my desire for her. I've tried to do everything to respark her interest in me as it once was. She asks why I am so attracted some 60lbs heavier. Well, she's my girl. She was before we met.....and I'm confused how a woman, can't appreciate my love for her. I love HER being. I express my deepest love through the act of making LOVE. I've never once screwed her, made her feel cheap, etc. Candles, music, back rubs, anything to get that environment most only read about.

Please help me.....I've lost my deepest most important soulmate I feel.....I'm losing hope.

Tearfully,

Broken marriage


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## CA-Lynn (Apr 29, 2010)

Plain and simple:

Run the labs; diagnose the problem; treat it with drugs.

How much of this has been done and if the labs have been run, can you please post the results?

If she's been given a prescription, then what is it for, dose, and why isn't she taking it?

Help us to help you. But we need more facts first.


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## burdette2004 (Oct 29, 2013)

Get her the medical help she needs. That's all you can do.


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## burdette2004 (Oct 29, 2013)

Honestly, if you are looking for sympathy, you are probably in the wrong place. We are the ones living with chronic illness. We are the ones who understand the lack of energy and the basic survival mode you fall into when your body is out of whack. I am thankful for a man who stands by me and helps as much as he does.


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## brokenmarriage (Dec 2, 2013)

sympathy? are you serious? grow up. i came here trying to understand this, i dont need your sympathy. so dont waste your time, being rude and ignorant to my concern.

CA-Lynn - we havent gone for tests because we found out a week before we left for Hawaii, which is where im typing you from. were on vacation here 2 weeks now, and tests will be taken by the doctors i work for upon our return. my whole reason for posting, was for an understanding from those of you who care to help me not feel at fault for lack of affection and lost interest.

ill post her results upon receiving them. burdette, im sure your husband has felt the same, as me, and i too, never left her side.....i just am trying to understand, thank you.


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## kimberly13 (Nov 20, 2013)

brokenmarriage said:


> But I feel a relationship, without the act of making love, is a friendship.


What does this mean? Does having sex make a relationship more valuable? Is your relationship with your wife different from your other relationships because you have sex and physical contact, or becuase you both chose a commitment to each other? It sounds to me you are making the same assumption that many other people make, that sex IS love, when in fact it is only one way to express love. Look for other ways to express love with your wife, and then your relationship will deepen. Make this experience into a positive one, that can bring you both closer together. Sex does not equal intimacy. There are so many other ways to be intimate if you look for them. Good luck!


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## webster2 (May 19, 2011)

Your letter could have been written by my husband but include crazy irrational unpredictable mood swings to the mix. Get the labs and treatment, it will help both of you. Best wishes.


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## Dolly (Apr 24, 2013)

kimberly13 said:


> What does this mean? Does having sex make a relationship more valuable? Is your relationship with your wife different from your other relationships because you have sex and physical contact, or becuase you both chose a commitment to each other? It sounds to me you are making the same assumption that many other people make, that sex IS love, when in fact it is only one way to express love. Look for other ways to express love with your wife, and then your relationship will deepen. Make this experience into a positive one, that can bring you both closer together. Sex does not equal intimacy. There are so many other ways to be intimate if you look for them. Good luck!


Amen to that! Because of my illness, lovemaking went from almost every day to once every couple of weeks. My libido is dead. But, my man says he is ok with just cuddling, holding, caressing. Sex does NOT equal intimacy.

Brokenmarriage, your wife needs to have the tests and be treated, but it will not be a magic bullet or a fast cure. Most of us who have thyroid issues know that it is a continual testing, tweaking, monitoring, and adjusting cycle. Especially for those of us who still have a thyroid. It is a delicate balancing act. I started treatment about 9 months ago, and my numbers are still not where they need to be.

Your wife's self-image is probably also in the toilet since you yourself said that she asks you how you could be attracted after a 60 pound weight gain. When you feel like you look like a big fat lump, the LAST thing you want to do is get naked. Try to do and say things to make her feel attractive.....not just by wanting her sexually. Yes, I know that can be complicated, but it can help.

The thyroid controls a large part of the body's functions, and libido is one of the things that can be greatly affected. Look for true intimacy with your wife. You say you give her flowers, massages, back scratches, and treat her like a queen......ask yourself this.....do those loving, caring acts have to lead to sex? Imagine if she had an ailment where she could NOT have sex.....would you still love her? Would you leave?


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## Andros (Aug 26, 2009)

brokenmarriage said:


> Hi everyone. I'm the husband of the most beautiful female God has blessed this earth with. We been married 8 yrs now and the last 5 years, I went from a man who couldn't keep up with his wife, to a man who's wife's libido is non-existant. This has taken me down so hard, feel alone, disgarded, unwanted, and lost. We recently discovered her weight gain, loss of libido, narcalrpsy (falling asleep standing up, etc)....ALWAYS tired, joint pain and the evident list goes on. Hypothyroidism at its worst, has brought me to a point to leave her. Its not being treated yet. I know she needs T3 (cytomel) and so does she. I'm more worried about her health, than sex. But being an ex hooter model, and wearing me out always demanding more sex, even minutes after making love, to a non existent part of who she was is breaking my marriage fast. This is NOT about me, I understand her illness, and have read how this destroys marriages. This is the first time I've posted my pain anywhere on this matter. Imagine winning a lottery....having the ticket, but unable to cash it. My wife is my lottery....she's worth more than money. Her love is the most amazing feeling a man dreams of. She loves me, I do not doubt her love for me. But I feel a relationship, without the act of making love, is a friendship. I cry myself to sleep missing 'us'. She doesn't miss us either. I completely understand hormones...I worked at a hospital, I'm a 10+ year veteran bodybuilder, have used steroids in my past and body chemistry is something I pride myself in. I stop and buy my wife flowers just to see her smile, I make her feel like a queen every moment, foot rubs, back scratches, ANYTHING and EVERYTHING a woman needs and wants, I do, all because of my desire for her. I've tried to do everything to respark her interest in me as it once was. She asks why I am so attracted some 60lbs heavier. Well, she's my girl. She was before we met.....and I'm confused how a woman, can't appreciate my love for her. I love HER being. I express my deepest love through the act of making LOVE. I've never once screwed her, made her feel cheap, etc. Candles, music, back rubs, anything to get that environment most only read about.
> 
> Please help me.....I've lost my deepest most important soulmate I feel.....I'm losing hope.
> 
> ...


How do you know your wife is hypo? To be honest, she sounds hyper to me. Symptoms can and do cross over.

These tests would be a good thing.

TPO (antimicrosomal antibodies) TBII (thyrotropin-binding inhibitory immunoglobulin), Thyroglobulin and Thyroglobulin Ab, ANA (antinuclear antibodies), (thyroid hormone panel) TSH, Free T3, Free T4.

You can look this stuff up here and more.........
http://www.labtestsonline.org/

Trab
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/17684583

TSI
Normally, there is no TSI in the blood. If TSI is found in the blood, this indicates that the thyroid stimulating immunoglobulin is the cause of the of a person's hyperthyroidism.
http://labtestsonline.org/understanding/analytes/thyroid-antibodies/tab/test

Add in an ultra-sound of the thyroid.

You may find some of these links of interest.

Identifying hypothyroidism's psychiatric presentations
http://www.jfponline.com/Pages.asp?AID=4570

Psychiatric Manifestations of Hashimoto's Thyroiditis
http://www.drrichardhall.com/Articles/hashimoto.pdf

Grave's psychotic
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1324966/

bipolar/thyroid disease
http://www.psycheducation.org/thyroid/introduction.htm

Many of us here including our spouses have found counseling to be extremely helpful during this scary time. Counselors are trained to counsel those with injuries and/or chronic illness'.


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## Dolly (Apr 24, 2013)

Andros said:


> Many of us here including our spouses have found counseling to be extremely helpful during this scary time. Counselors are trained to counsel those with injuries and/or chronic illness'.


I was just getting ready to go back and add that he and his wife could probably both use some counseling. Helpful to come to grips with the reality and the emotions related to the situation.


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## joplin1975 (Jul 21, 2011)

Let me just try and set the table, provide some context so you do have a better understanding of what is happening to those of us with thyroid problems (which, let's be clear, you have no idea if indeed your wife is struggling with this)...when you are really hypo:

You are tired. I mean really tired. So tired the idea of picking up a glass of water to take care of the never ending thirst seems simply insurmountable.

But you can't sleep. You can't sleep because everything hurts and no position provides any relief.

You exist in a fog, where everything and everyone is moving faster than you and you can't follow conversations or understand what is happening. It's like being drugged against your will and you watching the world as if you are living underwater.

If you could just sleep, just for a little bit...

The pain is constant. Every joint, every muscle throbs. Constant pain is exhausting. But you are already exhausted, so dealing with pain when you are this exhausted makes you wonder why you keep on keeping on?

Sleep would help, it would help so much except...

There's the heart palpitations what wake you just as you are drifting off to sleep. You are foggy-headed and confused and don't know if there's a reason your heart just tried to pound its way out of your chest. Was someone in the house? Did you hear a noise? Did the phone ring? Maybe its your parents and maybe they are hurt so you better get up and check all the doors and the windows and turn on all the lights and check to see if you have a message on your phone, all of which just causes your anxiety to go through the roof and now you start sweating like crazy, all of which means you won't sleep tonight.

So you stay up and try to understand why you can't feel normal. Why this is taking such a toll on your life. Why can't you just have one day, one night where you feel stable and happy and don't have to deal with the pain. So then the depression starts and, let me tell you that depression is an evil, dark, awful thing.

So there you are, beyond exhausted -- there's no word for how tired you are, and you are in pain, and you feel fat and stupid, and totally incapacitated and out of control and isolated from the world and you just want to sit in a corner byyourself and...what's that? Someone is complaining because he can't get his rocks off? Really? No, REALLY?

***
So, listen. I get it. My husband suffered for a long time. It's not fair and it's not how life is suppose to be. But it IS life. And those wedding vows are valid during sickness and in health. She may or may not have a thyroid issue, but it does sound like she's not herself. Your focus should remain on finding the cause of this issue (long before declaring that she needs t3...you have no idea right now what she needs). Your sexual needs, while important, are not the priority now. As I told my husband for a good year after my cancer diagnosis, surgery, and treatment: suck it up, it will get better and until then, there's a bathroom and bottle of lotion.

And, by the way, now that things are straightened out, we are very, very happy. He is very, very happy. But had I found out that he ever thought about, let alone wrote the word "divorce" because he wasn't getting laid enough while I was sick, I would have kicked his ass out of the house so fast it would have made his head spin.


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## Lovlkn (Dec 20, 2009)

Thyroid disease can extinguish intmacy but once treated things should spark again.

If you love your wife as much as you say you do then you need to remember your wedding vows- she is sick and she needs treatment.


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## jenny v (May 6, 2012)

Ditto to everything joplin said--having thyroid problems (assuming this is what's going on with your wife) is like a living nightmare. You can't even sleep to get away from it when it's really bad. It's constant, all consuming and hard to explain to someone who's never experienced it.

I'm sorry for what you're going through, but right now, getting your wife's health issues figured out should be your priority. Not sex, not back rubs, not flowers, etc. It's not that she doesn't appreciate your love for her, it's more that she's too exhausted mentally and physically to appreciate anything right now.


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## Swimmer (Sep 12, 2013)

Hypothyroid people may also be very worried about everything (anxiety is a thyroid symptom.) WIth some proper help from a great endocrinolgist who listens, someone can begin to get things under control -- but not as fast as a fast food order -- There are some ups and downs to go through... Even the right amount of thyroid hormone can cause things to get back into control when the metabolism gets back in better working order. Some people think (even the hypothyroid people themselves) that if you get on track with diet & fitness everything will get better... But it's just not that simple... In some cases - fitness can make it worse -- or more frusturating -- sometimes a time of rest and destress can be of great benefit (I mean time like months...) while under a physicians care.

If you want your wife back to herself (and surely she does) research and help her to find the best endocrinologist (or thyroid clinic at a University Hospital) and in addition you might "add" to that -- perhaps a little later down the road -- a researched & proven naturopath (not a whacky fako who tries everything under the sun and messes her up - rather someone who works "with" your doctor -- but wait on this.)

Here's what an awesome man will do... Remember the girl you married -- believe it or not -- she's still there... Be her rescuer on the white stallion... "Honey, we're going to get you help -- I've been researching and reading -- don't worry -- we'll get through this -- I'll be by your side."

And while you're in Hawaii, encourage her... Don't encourage her to climb to the top of the mountain -- understand - her body needs rest... Don't be angry -- that's something that will harden both of your hearts against one another. Take some time to pray, ask God for help. Try not to push her. Help her understand your needs - in a non-pushing format... Instead, look at her -- she is that girl that you married that you loved so much -- it's just that a fatigue has taken over her.

I've learned that when Hashimoto's people say "I'm so tired" -- it isn't "normal people tired" it's different I think... Imagine... Think of your most tired day you ever had. Tie a warm jug of milk to each of your legs. Take one cup of flour and splash it in your face (mouth closed) so that your eyes are bothered. Tape a five pound bag of apples to each arm. This sounds ridiculous - but -- if you could please try to imagine, understand that she is weighted down and fatigued by something in her life that is out of her control. Just the problem itself and the fatigue it brings is stressful -- and the stress can make it even worse. Her tolerance for stressful discussions and stressful situations may make her feel the need to get away or for her to personally break or -- even -- you may see her emotionally freak out -- she just can't take it.

Don't worry -- that's her thyroid talking to you.

What you can do... See her for who she is -- it's the person minus the thyroid condition. Be loving and gentle and help her get some help so that she can be who she is -- you will both be so glad when she's back to herself. Hang in there, don't give up. It's these tough times that build a friendship, a relationship that can last... And when you go through tough times later in life, you will both have built something here so deep that the bonds of trust run so deep.

So -- it's not the end, it's not hopeless. Please look into her tired eyes -- that girl you love and married is there -- just cloaked in a thyroid fatigue... Help her come out of the thyroid fatigue.

Today in Hawaii -- it's a day for you two to smile at eachother. Have some laughs. Rest whenever she needs to. Let her soak up the sun on the sand. Remember the things you used to for her when in love -- offer her, "can I get you anything?" Buy some hersheys kisses and put them somewhere where she will find them. Write some I love you notes -- don't forget the "Why" -- "I love you because...." slip her love notes. Rebuild what you two have -- it isn't gone -- it isn't lost... This is just a different season in life at the moment -- get through it, be strong -- be her hero on the white horse -- she needs your strength, love, compassion and wisdom to help her see the way to get the results you both want her to have. Let God show you the way as you seek Him for His help.


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## brokenmarriage (Dec 2, 2013)

Joplin, you described my wife as if you looking at her. That's her, she was diagnosed with fibro as the pain part. Doctors got her addicted to norco due to masking pain vs finding what it is and treating it.

THIS IS NOT ABOUT SEX PEOPLE. no more cuddle, no more holding my hand, not a single act of affection....nothing that falls under the function of affection. Sorry I can't type this all being on vacation. She's sleeping now, and I let her. She gets so tired she cries, and when she does sleep, I let her to hopefully help her. Last thing I need is a car crash with my daughter due to falling asleep behind wheel.

I haven't read all replies here, I scanned, joplin, you described her life to a tee.

Don't anyone say get my rocks off. This is a woman, I can't even touch right now due to thus ****** thyroid and I want to save her from all pain and hurt, and if I wanted my "rocks off" I wouldn't be here typing or with her at all. I'm sticking by her side cuz I LOVE HER and mostly, want her pain.....give it to me, let her be pain free.....I have had near death experiences myself, GIVE ME HER PAIN GOD. (I know I can't take her pain, but now you all know how much I love her.....hopefully)


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## Swimmer (Sep 12, 2013)

Hi, please read my post -- (just above yours) -- "so tired she cries" -- we know what that is -- it is part of the thyroid problem -- hang in there -- you're not alone -- and there is a lot of help and hope.

You are both going through a tough time.  Hang in there - there's a rainbow in this. Also -- you might want to consider sending us your wife so we can help her, it's a lot of help when you find other people who understand what you're going through and that there's help and hope.


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## joplin1975 (Jul 21, 2011)

Broken,

As bad as it is for you, it's much worse for her. Please understand: you came on to a board for people with a chronic, incurable condition. People who feel like they are failing everyone, including themselves, everyday. You posted about sex and your title included the word divorce. If I were in your wife's shoes, your post would have absolutely gutted me.

Post about your wife's medical history. Tell us how she's feeling. Keep us updated about her tests, test results, medications and doctors appointments. Don't lead with sex, how much you were having, and how little you are now. Believe me, we know. It, said with total honesty, makes you sound callous and will get one heck of reaction from us (as you can see ).

Let's focus on the business of getting her back to normal.


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## CA-Lynn (Apr 29, 2010)

The best husband in the world will be there to listen, to cuddle, to help get her back on track. It is NOT about sex. It is about BEING THERE for each other.

THAT is real love.


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## brokenmarriage (Dec 2, 2013)

Dolly said:


> Amen to that! Because of my illness, lovemaking went from almost every day to once every couple of weeks. My libido is dead. But, my man says he is ok with just cuddling, holding, caressing. Sex does NOT equal intimacy.
> 
> Brokenmarriage, your wife needs to have the tests and be treated, but it will not be a magic bullet or a fast cure. Most of us who have thyroid issues know that it is a continual testing, tweaking, monitoring, and adjusting cycle. Especially for those of us who still have a thyroid. It is a delicate balancing act. I started treatment about 9 months ago, and my numbers are still not where they need to be.
> 
> ...


it doesnt lead to sex, why does every one keep thinking im after some ass for god sake. these things i do any day of the week....i dont need a holiday, or anything to do these things. i bring them, get ,them, give them, and go about my night......not once has any of these actions, displaying my love lead to sex.....not once...thats not why i do them. omg!


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## brokenmarriage (Dec 2, 2013)

i came here wondering how thyroid changes a females body, every wants ot attack me as some sex hungry thug.....those who helped thank you, those who attacked, you. dont take you own issues and pain out on me, when all i wanted was an understanding. good bye....ANDROS, THANK YOU FOR YOUR HELP....YOU REAL, AND NON JUDGMENTAL.....GOD BLESS YOU MY FRIEND!


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## Dolly (Apr 24, 2013)

brokenmarriage said:


> it doesnt lead to sex, why does every one keep thinking im after some ass for god sake. these things i do any day of the week....i dont need a holiday, or anything to do these things. i bring them, get ,them, give them, and go about my night......not once has any of these actions, displaying my love lead to sex.....not once...thats not why i do them. omg!


I pulled some excerpts from your post, which indicates why we may have thought your issue was largely about sex....



brokenmarriage said:


> I went from a man who couldn't keep up with his wife, to a man who's wife's libido is non-existant. This has taken me down so hard, feel alone, disgarded, unwanted, and lost.
> 
> But being an ex hooter model, and wearing me out always demanding more sex, even minutes after making love, to a non existent part of who she was is breaking my marriage fast.
> 
> ...


Can you see why we would think that? If we mis-judged you, then I for one am sorry.


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## Dolly (Apr 24, 2013)

brokenmarriage said:


> i came here wondering how thyroid changes a females body, every wants ot attack me as some sex hungry thug.....those who helped thank you, those who attacked, you. dont take you own issues and pain out on me, when all i wanted was an understanding. good bye....ANDROS, THANK YOU FOR YOUR HELP....YOU REAL, AND NON JUDGMENTAL.....GOD BLESS YOU MY FRIEND!


As I stated in my post above, it did not sound like that is what you came here about.....and most of us read your post in the same manner. Cursing is not appropriate nor warranted.


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## Octavia (Aug 1, 2011)

brokenmarriage, I'm sorry you feel that some people were attacking you...but if you re-read your original post, and look at it from another person's perspective, you might be able to see why some felt you were focused on sex.

But more importantly, it's critical that your wife get a thorough thyroid panel performed (labwork), including antibodies to rule out (or in) an autoimmune issue. She may also need additional labs besides the thyroid to get a better idea of her overall health, such as Vitamin D, Iron, Vitamin B12, etc. We have several members here who are very knowledgeable and could give a better recommended lab list than I can, and hopefully we'll hear from them. If her doctor refuses to order the labs, you can get them done yourself at a few places using online orders...we'll cross that bridge if we need to. If her doc only tests TSH and won't consider other tests, run far, far away and find a new doctor who will.

If your wife has been going downhill for 5 years, I assume she's seen her doctor at least a few times...what has been the outcome of those visits?

Once you get your wife's lab results, would you please post them here (with the ranges in parentheses) so we can try and help you better understand them?


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## mum2bradley (Sep 27, 2010)

Lovlkn said:


> Thyroid disease can extinguish intmacy but once treated things should spark again.
> 
> If you love your wife as much as you say you do then you need to remember your wedding vows- she is sick and she needs treatment.


You hit the nail on the head. My husband would have left me long ago but he LOVES me sex or not and stuck by me through my worst time. This guy is throwing in the towel already. Yikes!


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## Yasushi12 (Dec 6, 2013)

Wait for the test results and if doc says they're normal, asks if he/she did a complete workup for thyroid disease.

If she is hypo it will take time for meds to work and possible longer with adjustments. Help and encourage her.

I wish I had known everything I know now about hypo a year and a half ago when my now ex-wife was diagnosed.

She had been on various anti-depressant/anxiety for two years until then. I knew nothing about hypo then, only that it was low iodine production and was treatable.

By the time she was diagnosed, her behavior had become bizarre and uncharacteristic. And I was clueless that it could be related to the hypo.

She became withdrawn and almost completely uncommunicative and spoke of divorce.

Through next several months her behavior became even more bizarre and spoke often of divorce.

She continued to receive different meds and I was thinking her behavior was linked to the drugs.

There's a lot of detail about her behavior but I won't get into all that.

Finally, we separated and are now divorced.

I had no idea why or what happened.

Looking for answers, I started researching hypo and was absolutely shocked about all the effects.

Thinking back, she had started displaying some of the outward signs several years before in her early 40s: RA, quick weight gain (we lived in Japan at the time and ate healthy, walked miles a week and swam a lot), rosacea, hives/rashes.

Within three years she had been diagnosed with osteoporosis, depression and panic attacks, fibromyalgia, temporal mandibular jaw disorder, high cholesterol and triglycerides.

By that time she was on an anti-psychotic, an anti-anxiety and three anti-depressants.

It did no good and she was a zombie.

Finally she was DX with hypo but even several months later on Armour, her behavior only got worse.

It wasn't until I started researching after the divorce her doctors started her on 60mg Armour once a day for more than a year.

Had I known then, what I know now, there could have been so much I could have done to possibly saving our marriage by helping guide her and prompt doctors to make adjustments.

So, brokenmarriage, my marriage is over, and you can possibly preserve yours by learning as much as you can together and go forward if she has hypo.

Very good luck, mine ran out.


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## Andros (Aug 26, 2009)

Yasushi12 said:


> Wait for the test results and if doc says they're normal, asks if he/she did a complete workup for thyroid disease.
> 
> If she is hypo it will take time for meds to work and possible longer with adjustments. Help and encourage her.
> 
> ...


Thank you so much for sharing your story in order to be supportive of others who are going through similar.

Men need hugs too so here is one for you {{{{{Yashushi12}}}}} and.........................................


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## Swimmer (Sep 12, 2013)

Yasushi12 said:


> Wait for the test results and if doc says they're normal, asks if he/she did a complete workup for thyroid disease.
> 
> If she is hypo it will take time for meds to work and possible longer with adjustments. Help and encourage her.
> 
> ...


Thank you for sharing this powerful testimony -- Is there any hope now for reconcilliation?


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## Yasushi12 (Dec 6, 2013)

Swimmer and Andros;

Thank you very much.

Don't see a reconcilliation anytime soon if ever.

She is looking to marry (for the fifth time) a gentleman 20 years her senior.

From what I understand she quit taking her Armour a few months ago and must be decidedly worse emotionally/mentally and I fear at least some of it may be permanent.

We haven't spoken in almost a year and it has been so difficult trying explain to other people the ramifications of hypo. I've been accused of being obsessed with her and defending her. It's easy to do when you are still so much in love, but the woman whom she is now, is not the loving wife of three years ago.

It is extremely disturbing.

I've read so many different blogs about how, almost exclusively, it's the spouse of hypo sufferers, that suffer as well.


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## Andros (Aug 26, 2009)

Yasushi12 said:


> Swimmer and Andros;
> 
> Thank you very much.
> 
> ...


Sadly, there can be severe psychiatric ramifications as a result of thyroid disease.

You may find some of this reading insightful. Once we are able to understand things; I do believe it helps to assuage our pain and propel us forward.

Identifying hypothyroidism's psychiatric presentations
http://www.jfponline.com/Pages.asp?AID=4570

Psychiatric Manifestations of Hashimoto's Thyroiditis
http://www.drrichardhall.com/Articles/hashimoto.pdf

hypo, psychiatric
http://www.biopsychiatry.com/hypothyroidism.htm

Psychiatric Manifestations of Hashimoto's Thyroiditis
http://www.drrichardhall.com/Articles/hashimoto.pdf


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## Yasushi12 (Dec 6, 2013)

She almost certainly needed a dosage increase of Armour and less other meds.


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## sjmjuly (Mar 23, 2012)

kimberly13 said:


> What does this mean? Does having sex make a relationship more valuable? Is your relationship with your wife different from your other relationships because you have sex and physical contact, or becuase you both chose a commitment to each other? It sounds to me you are making the same assumption that many other people make, that sex IS love, when in fact it is only one way to express love. Look for other ways to express love with your wife, and then your relationship will deepen. Make this experience into a positive one, that can bring you both closer together. Sex does not equal intimacy. There are so many other ways to be intimate if you look for them. Good luck!


AMEN Ditto!

If you truly love this woman as you say you do, and I mean TRULY with all your heart, pull your man parts out of the equation. Your marriage is going to end because she's medical ill right now and you can't work through it? Are you kidding me?????? I really don't mean to be rude, but you couldn't be more out of touch at the moment. And the Ex Hooter comment didn't help your plight here as far as I am concerned.

This disease SUCKS let me tell you, and I am sure there are many husbands that are struggling with their wives just as mine has for over two years. But my husband NEVER left my side - NOT ONCE. Numerous doctor visits to mostly idiot doctors, numerous ER visits, sick, tired, days of feeling like CRAP, the list goes on and on.

What you need to do is stop thinking of what's in your pants and YOURSELF and concentrate on finding HER a doctor that can help her get on the correct medication and vitamins so she can start to feel better.

People here think you're an ass because YOU make yourself out to be one! You say you do all these "nice things" for her, but for what reason? So you can have sex? The best and nicest thing you can do for her is FIND HER A DOCTOR. Sorry if you feel attacked, but your original post made you sound like someone I would'nt want to be married to. I hope your wife feels better soon.


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